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Important Qualities to Project To Younger Women By Dean Cortez

One of the older man’s best assets is his ability to make younger women feel stable, secure and protected. “Protecting” her, in today’s society, rarely has anything to do with your physical size or your ability to physically defend her. A successful modern man radiates strength through his words and actions.

For example, demonstrating that you are decisive is a very important way to convey strength. Loyalty and commitment are other forms of strength that women find highly attractive.

These are things you should imply rather than say outright. By telling her a quick story about how you came through for a friend of yours—because you’re committed to your friends, and you feel loyalty is important—you’re planting seeds in her mind that you possess these qualities. This type of story can be simple, and you can tell it at any time.

You don’t need to wait until the subject of loyalty comes up. Just create a segue.

Here’s an example:

HER: “My job has been so crazy lately (blah blah blah…)”

YOU: “I’ve also been super busy. And on top of that, my friend Michelle asked me to help her move on Sunday. I need to be at her place at 7 in the morning to help her load a truck full of stuff. I’ll be exhausted, because I’ve got a party to be at on Saturday night, but she’s been there for me in the past and she’s earned a place in my inner circle. So I told her I’d help, and I don’t break commitments.”

Now that was an effective answer. Look at how many indicators of your value were loaded into that reply. You stressed how much you value loyalty and commitment. You also pointed out that you’ve got female friends in your inner circle, which implies that you’re popular among women. Plant those seeds, and she’ll take note of them.

Women are always filtering our words and actions through their mental computers. And never forget: while we’re always looking for reasons to qualify attractive women (to justify our desire to have sex with them), their minds are searching for reasons to disqualify us.

If we meet a hot girl, we’ll usually overlook the deficiencies in her character and her personality, or habits of hers that we would never tolerate in an unattractive girl, because we’re focused on getting her into bed. (This is especially true when it comes to beautiful younger women. She might be a needy drama queen with the I.Q. of a door knob, but if she’s got amazing tits and a rock-hard body, we’re interested!!)

Women, on the other hand, seek to find reasons to disqualify men. You could have attractive qualities—whether it’s the way you dress, what you do for a living, or your sense of humor—but if you show weakness in a certain area, she may mentally disqualify you in an instant.

Some guys trigger all kinds of red flags when they talk to younger women, and never realize where they went wrong. Have you ever been on a date that you thought went well, and even though you didn’t hook up at the end of the night, you figured there was a serious possibility that she would become your next girlfriend? But when you called her to arrange a second date, she was suddenly extremely “busy” and couldn’t commit to making any plans…or didn’t return your phone call?

Before I started improving my game, that sort of thing happened to me on a regular basis. I couldn’t understand how a girl who seemed so enthusiastic on our first date would then come up with excuses not to go on a second date. Or, I’d meet a girl in a bar and have a great conversation with her, but when I’d call her a couple of days later to plan a date, she wouldn’t call me back.

It’s now clear to me what I had done on those dates that had caused women to disqualify me. I’m able to identify the things I did, and said, that raised red flags in her mind and got me disqualified. Sometimes, one mistake is all it takes for her to dismiss you mentally, and move onto the next. Remember, beautiful young women always have other options.

Women disqualify men for instinctive reasons all the time. The other day, I was talking to a sexy female friend of mine, Christine, about a date she’d been on the night before. She’d met the guy on the Internet and this was their first time meeting face-to-face.

According to her, he had been sweet, funny, and “really cute” (her words). He brought her flowers, and took her out to a restaurant where their dinner and wine cost over $150. But after they said goodnight (with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek), she had no desire to ever see him again. She’d disqualified him. I asked her why, and she couldn’t really explain. She said “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t feel the right chemistry.”

I was curious, so I asked her to explain the date in detail. It then became obvious to me what he’d done to turn her off. He had broadcasted his interest. He told her, on that very first date, how he was looking for someone to settle down with. At the end of the date he told her “I really like you, and I think there might be potential for a relationship here.” Then he asked her if she was available the following night to go out again.

Anyway, Mr. Internet Romeo thought he was just being sincere and honest. But what he was actually doing was surrendering control. He was letting her know, “I’m yours if you want me. Now, it’s your call.”

To Christine, he no longer presented any sort of challenge. The sexual tension they’d built up over the past few weeks, chatting on Yahoo! Messenger and emailing, was suddenly gone. Also, by trying to set up a date for the following night, her mind registered another red flag—that he might be the clingy, possessive type who would want to constantly be with her, because he had little else going on in his life.

If a guy broadcasts the message that he is totally, utterly single, without other women desiring him, how desirable can he be to a girl like Christine? Women will wonder, “What’s the catch?” There must be something about him that turns women off—possibly a very serious flaw. Most women would rather cut him loose than stick around and find out what his personal issues are.

Once you’ve built a relationship with a girl and you’re having sex on a regular basis, you can spend more time with her and make yourself more available. But in those opening stages, when her female intuition is on high alert and she’s trying to determine her level of attraction towards you, always being available can kill her interest.

Don’t be an open book; present an element of intrigue and mystery.

Another thing you’ll learn in M.A.C.K. Tactics: The Ultimate Edition is that the concept of “chemistry” is nonsense. It’s a figment of the female imagination. As a Mack, you can manufacture a sense of chemistry and make her feel that it exists between the two of you. By simply applying the right Tactics, you can make her feel like you’re the guy she was “destined” to meet.

Achieving the Right Image and Attitude Part 2 By Lucas West

It’s not your age that’s the issue; it’s hers that might be the issue.

What if she’s too inexperienced and too naive? You’re the right age, but she has to prove to you that she’s wise beyond her years. Or, at the very least, willing to learn from you.

For some guys, believing this will take some work. Changing beliefs isn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially if there are a whole bunch of other beliefs tangled up in them. With patience and determination, however, you can start to believe that you have an advantage over younger men.

If you believe in yourself, possibilities open up. The major factor here is confidence and self-assuredness. I mean this in several ways. Not only does it mean that you’ve got self-esteem and believe in your own self-worth, but you’re also fearless and will go after whatever it is that you want.

That means you don’t think twice about approaching a 20 or 30-something woman. Project the sense that a man of your stature and confidence has gotten with younger women before; this should look easy.

You must exude the feeling that you’ve done this before, and being with a younger woman is nothing out of the ordinary. If you can truly grasp that and make it part of your belief system, then you will project it to her. It will make it that much easier for her to forget about the age difference.

Let me clarify that. Being with a younger woman has to seem par for the course, but you still want her to feel special. You’re not going after her because you need a younger woman.  You’re interested in her because she seems interesting as a person. You just don’t want her to feel that her age is a big deal to you.

This kind of confidence comes from experience. It comes from making a concerted effort to be comfortable in that kind of situation. If you’re comfortable with women around your age, start frequenting places with a slightly younger age bracket (eg coffee shops), and start interacting slightly outside of your comfort zone. Work your way slowly, over the course of a few months, to the age group you want.

If you’re 40, don’t jump into a 20 year old’s world without experiencing some 30 year old and mid-late 20s women first. Your mind and nervous system prefers gradual change, and it’s best to approach it that way if you want to acquire a new set of permanent beliefs.

3. Your Selection Criteria

I have a 55 year old friend of mine who lives inIndia. Every Monday, he goes to an American karaoke bar and sings a few tunes. He doesn’t have the best voice in the world, but it is certainly a powerful one. After his first number, he buys a handful of people around him a round of drinks. Over the course of a few weeks from when he started, he’s become the guy that everybody knows.

Even in India, a place far more conservative than ourUnited States(and the rest of the western world), he’s been able to pick up several women under thirty at that bar. That’s because he embodies confidence and makes his presence felt. As a result, he has social status. At that bar, he’s near the top of the pecking order.

It’s a mindset that he has cultivated, and one that is accurately sent out as his image. The two cannot be separated.

* Side Note: People (men and women both) defer to a man who takes care of them. I’ve mentioned buying drinks twice before. Supposedly, in the seduction circle, that’s a sign of weakness. You’re not supposed to “buy” her affection or attention. But when a man isn’t using it in a subservient manner, when he isn’t trying to impress her, it leaves a different impression. My friend buys drinks for a group of people; the girl he’s interested in just happens to be within that group. If you buy her a drink with the attitude that, “Of course I’m going to buy you a drink. I take care of all my friends this way,” it comes across quite a bit better.

I think, with age, comes more of a requirement to take care of women. The older you get, the more likely you’ll have to provide for the woman you select. Certainly, you’ll be expected to pick up the tab.

No matter who you select, she’s looking for some type of demonstration of the pecking order. You’re expected to be at the top because you’re older. Those at the top take care of the ones underneath him.

Don’t mistake this to mean you pay for everything. It’s not like you have to pay for her college tuition. Just a demonstration is all that’s required. It shouldn’t look like a demonstration, either.

My friend has found a place that, for him, works well. He’s able to demonstrate his authority and youthfulness among all age groups. I think you’ll benefit in finding the same. Some bars, coffee shops, and even something like night classes, would have a varied age group.

Of course, it isn’t necessary to go “somewhere.” If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll be able find women anywhere. But, for the sake of practice, it’s a good idea to find place where you can become a regular and befriend a few people (yes, even men) younger than you are.

One more thing to consider is that there are some women who are more likely to disregard the age gap than others. In my experience, the more intelligent the woman, the more likely mature the man she dates. It’s not an inalterable rule, obviously, but it’s a good starting point to find receptive girls. Also, the more “alternative” she is (in the way she dresses and what she believes in), the more likely she’ll overlook the age difference. A vegetarian, for example, has an alternative mindset.

Ask yourself, “Why am I seeking out a younger woman?” I know, the real answer is because you and I both want a smoking hot chick in our beds so we can say, “I’ve still got it.” Besides that, find some other answers for yourself. What are you looking for? Come up with some good answers that ring true for you, and seek those types of women out. If you have a clearer goal, it’s easier to attain.

A Final Note

Finding a younger woman is not much different from finding one your age. You just have to be surer of yourself, more confident, and demonstrate capability and authority. Failure comes from a weak image; you cannot waver.

Change your beliefs about what you’re capable of doing. If you take it slowly, you can really surprise yourself. Then, go out there and take some chances. Use your age to your advantage.

It’s not about pulling the wool over her eyes so that she believes you to be someone you’re not. It’s about becoming the kind of man she’s always dreamt of. Many women are looking for the kind of guy you are. You just have to really be that guy.

You can do this. And if you need any help in getting there, I’m here to help.

The Maverick Principle By Dean Cortez

As a confident guy, you should be fitting women into your schedule, not the other way around.

Don’t be easy to pin down. This places you in a category of men she isn’t used to dealing with, and it reverses the traditional rules of courtship: normally, women are the ones who play “hard to get” and make it difficult for men to schedule plans with them.

As a successful, confident, you are the one who is occupied with other things, and you see women on your terms.

In today’s dating world, this sets you apart as a true maverick.

Most guys will hang on the phone for as long as she was wants to talk, even if it means listening to her complain about her sex life with her ex-boyfriend for an hour. Whenever she’s free, these guys will put everything else aside to talk to her, or spend time with her.

Women grow bored with this type of man. If he’s always available, it’s a sign that he has nothing else going on his life, and that no other women are interested in him. Women are intrigued by a man who is a hot commodity, not a guy who is free any time she is available.

So instead of immediately accepting her offer the next time she invites you to hang out, create I.O.U.’s. (This is a kick-ass Mack Tactics technique that I fully explain in the “Ultimate Edition” book, available at Mack Tactics.)

When a girl calls this type of guy to say “me and my friends are going to the bar tonight, do you want to meet up later?”, he won’t commit right away. Even if he has no plans this evening, he’ll project the image of a busy guy.

He’ll say “I have some people I need to see (or some business I need to handle), but maybe later I can make an appearance.” (I love that phrase, “make an appearance.” It makes you sound like a celebrity who will be gracing them with your presence.)

Then, he may choose to not show up at all. He’ll tell her the next day “Sorry, something came up.” (He won’t offer an explanation.) This only increases his allure and the sense that he is a “commodity.” The next time they do hang out, she’s going to make an extra effort to entice him. She knows he is in demand, and she won’t want to let him slip through her fingers.

Again, you are turning the tables. Normally, on a date, it’s the guy who is eagerly trying to impress the woman and “score points” with her. When a woman is on a date with you, she is the one trying to score points and capitalize on a limited window of opportunity.

A very important note before we move on: when you do meet up with a girl—whether it’s for a date, or you’re meeting her and her friends at a club—I’m not suggesting that you should act arrogant or aloof, like you’ve got somewhere more important to be. When you are not with her and she wants to see you, you’ve got to play a little bit “hard to get.”

But when you are with her, you must be completely focused on her. You’re totally attentive and “in the moment.” This makes her even MORE eager to see you again, because you make her feel special. But it’s always going to be on your terms, on your schedule.

Also, women tend to be flaky and be late to appointments, but you should always be punctual.

Your time is precious, and if she makes a habit of showing up late to meet you, you’ve got to call her on it. Most guys will act like it’s no big deal when she shows up at the restaurant 20 minutes late: “Oh, don’t worry about, it’s fine…”

Instead, you should call her on it: “Wow, this is the second time you’ve been late to meet me. What’s up with that?”

Say it with a smile—you don’t want to sound pissed—but make sure she gets the message: you’re not cool with people showing up 20 minutes late to an appointment with you. And you’re not going the typical spineless-nice guy route and excusing her behavior.

After she babbles her apology and explains her lateness, switch gears and move onto a fun topic. Just make sure that seed is planted in her mind: your time is valuable, and must be respected. By showing up late, she tested you — and you passed with flying colors.

Be A Leader

The older men I’ve observed, who have tremendous success with younger women, understand how to be a leader. When he goes out for a meal, he knows what he likes to eat, and he has a list of favorite restaurants around town.

He knows which movies are playing, and the one he wants to see. He has his favorite clubs and bars, and when he shows up, a bartender or a waitress will always welcome him by name.

And when he arranges a date with a woman, he doesn’t ask her opinion on where they should go. His plan is mapped out. She gets to come along for the ride.

Weak Move: “So what do you feel like doing tonight?”

Strong Move: “I’ll pick you up at eight, we’re going to have some fun. Wear something sexy.”

(This is an excellent Tactic. Tell her what to wear. You don’t need to be specific; just say “wear something sexy.” She’ll be thinking about you, and winning your approval, for the entire two hours it takes her to select her outfit and get ready.)

Women respect, and follow, a man who leads. As a man, this is part of your masculine duty. It is expected of you. When men defer to women and don’t want to make decisions, women grow irritated with them because they’re being forced to play the masculine role in the relationship, and this is not natural.

Look at all the pathetic married guys who constantly give in to their wives’ demands, and let them run the show. Do their wives appreciate it? Hell no! It makes them henpeck their husbands even worse. Because women, contrary to how they might act, don’t want to be the “boss” all the time. They’re wishing their man would show a backbone and behave like an Alpha Male.

 When it’s time to schedule a date, figure out in advance where you want to take her, so that you never appear unsure. Project an air of self-assuredness at all times. As long as you lead, and keep them interested in the “challenge,” women will follow…into your bedroom, and beyond.


Inside the Mind of A Beautiful (But Insecure) Younger Woman By Christian Hudson

Beautiful women particularly the younger ones, who are the object of every guy’s attention when they’re dressed to kill and out socializing often have deep insecurities that you wouldn’t suspect. If you’ve ever been “gamed” by a girl who was hot with you one day, and cold the next, you probably know what I mean.

An important aspect of dating younger women is knowing how to recognize the warning signs of an insecure girl who just isn’t ready to date a man of your caliber. This is when true confidence comes into play having enough of it to hit the “eject” button and bail out of a bad relationship, knowing that you’ve got the skills and confidence to find someone more deserving of you.

Let’s take a journey into the mind of a hot but deeply insecure younger woman to see what’s really going on, and how she games the men in her life.

The hot girl in question is a composite of three girls I’ve known, and we’ll call her Sarah. Every girl has a little bit of Sarah in them; this composite we’re drawing is simply the most extreme iteration of it. Here’s the backstory, taken from my experiences with the three girls.

Sarah is a smart girl – far more intelligent than she initially appears. She plays the role of the “ditzy little girl” with aplomb, and half of my friends still refuse to believe that her IQ could possibly break the triple-digit barrier. But when it comes to men, she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve seen her destroy several guys (myself included), and I watch her keeping a steady flow of prospects in the pipeline. The guys she dates are good looking and successful—and usually, they fall for her hard.

I believe that deep down, Sarah is a good person who wants to find a deeper happiness than her life today gives her, but as it stands, I’d hate for one of my friends to get caught up with a girl like her. And should you ever find yourself in a situation with a Sarah of your own, its only fair that you understand exactly what’s going on. Personally, I’ve dated two girls like her before, and I was in a wickedly hurtful relationship with one of them.

So let’s see if we can get into Sarah’s head…

The first thing you have to know about her existence is that it’s fairly shallow. Moment to moment, she seeks constant emotional and physical stimulation in the form of drugs, sex, cigarettes, text flirting with guys, etc. And unlike most of us, she’s able to get away with this because, well, she’s a hot girl inNew York Citywho knows how to play the game.

Sarah also likes to party. She’s out two to four nights a weeks, sometimes hitting multiple clubs at once, and she’s always at the best and hottest new club. Promoters love her because she rarely brings guys along, and has a great personality; fun, ditzy, playful, giggly – everything you want in a girl when you’re out at a club.

But when she meets a guy in whom she’s interested, her demeanor changes instantly. First, her voice softens up to something akin to a baby’s cooing and her eyes become doe-like. The innocence comes across as capitulation, and flips a big switch in a man – his desire to take care of a woman.

But she also knows how to turn on the sexy… with a narrowing of the eyes, a crossing of the legs, a little bite of the lip – and she’s attractive enough that few men are going to turn her down. I’ve watched her do it to random guys in clubs, as well as with a friend of mine, just to prove to me that she could.

Guys see her “transform” from fun, wild social girl, to fawning little bunny—and imagine her potential as a sexual mistress. This results in paralyzing crushes.

She goes after bankers and traders whenever possible. It is important for her ego that the men she’s dating have certain qualifications.

And as she starts dating a man, she’s full of push-pull. One morning she’s in his kitchen, wearing his oxford shirt and cooking breakfast for him. She tells him she’ll see him later that night, then flakes out and heads to a club with me, where we’ll dance the night away.

The guy starts texting her… “Baby, where are you?” The next morning, she meekly apologizes, shows up for sex, and pulls the guy deeper into thinking that if he tries just a *little* bit harder, she’ll change for him.

And this is the genius – mad or otherwise – in how she handles a man. She is incredibly compliant and giving when she’s with him, to the point he thinks he “has her.” She is very emotional and “falls in love” quickly; temporary as it may be, the guy starts to believe it too. Her emotions are like a hurricane: as soon as they comes, they can also be gone.

And a guy wants to believe that he’s going to be the one who tames her, that she’ll be his domestic Debbie. Then, once she’s felt that the guy has invested enough into her (and critically, ONLY then) she’ll disappear.

Here’s the funny part her routine works best on the guys with huge egos. The most successful, the best-looking, the ones who eat women for breakfast. She’s sexy enough that she can make them work hard to get her  fancy meals, tables and bottles, whatever she wants, really – and once they’ve invested enough and feel they’ve “won,” it becomes part of their ego that they’re dating the girl who everyone else wants but who no one can have. The moment she pulls away, that massive ego begins to lurch. I’ve watch guys cancel travel plans, leave work early, and go into debt trying to pull this girl back into their world.

Does this lead to good relationships? Absolutely not. It results in fights, guys showing up at her house (and mine) yelling in the street for her, and lots of bad feelings. But it works for her for two reasons.

First, all the drama is essentially emotional stimulation. Whether she’s feeling really good and excited about a guy, or whether he’s blowing up her phone with pleas and grievances, it is making her life interesting.

Secondly, while she is an intelligent girl, she has some *very* deep issues. Insecurities she’s not comfortable sharing with a guy with whom she’s romantically involved. She knows (instinctively) that if she truly opens herself up in that way, she’s putting herself in a position to be hurt. And she’s so insecure about who she really is that she’s just not going to let a guy who’s fucking her have that kind of power over her.

So what’s the lesson here for us guys?

Well, most importantly, do your homework and follow your instincts. A key concept in attraction is investment: the more you invest in something, the more of an emotional attachment you develop for it. And falling in love with Sarah is kind of like buying stock in a promising but volatile tech company if it’s a hot thing that is poised to take off and generate massive returns, you might get emotionally invested, and fail to get out when you should.

Every now and then the company puts out a press release with incredibly good news, but since you’ve never met the management team, you have no way of knowing if it’s accurate. And believe me, if a man is dealing with Sarah on a superficial or ego basis, he definitely hasn’t “met management.”

Perhaps you stated dating a younger woman and had people who knew her tell you to “watch out for her,” but you defended her and said “no, I know her in a way that other people don’t,” or something to that effect. Well, “management” is hidden away in the board room and letting the PR and customer service people do the talking, and you bought into the lines you’re being spoon-fed.

What else? Don’t let your ego get caught up in determining whether she’d be a good girl for you. It is not your job to be her Dad, brother or burly protector. Sarah has people in her life who are looking out for her, and just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean its your responsibility to save her. Yes, if she sees your interest waning, she’ll work hard to get it back. But if you’re getting any signs that your girl is half-heartedly committed, that her insecurities and/or abilities with men are driving her to seek constant stimulation, then you just have to keep your eyes open. One day, when she’s had enough partying, she’ll find a solid man and latch on tight, and there will be no doubt in his mind (or hers) that she’s in it to win it. But until then, if there’s smoke, there’s probably fire.

The things that drive Sarah are present in everyone’s head. When you’re looking for a girlfriend, its important to be able to see her for who she really is. I’ve been in relationships with girls who I thought were loving, honest people. Then something goes wrong, and all of a sudden I’m seeing parts of Sarah come out. The girl is pushing me, pulling me, and I’m telling myself “wait, this isn’t who she is! She’s the girl I was dating a few months ago… I just need to bring that back out of her.” Problem is, because her perception of me and the role that I play in her life has changed, so has she.

Lessons learned. And hey – if you know yourself and who you are, you know what you’ll accept, what you won’t, and you’ll be able to give yourself fully when the right girl comes along. Click here for more tips.


Where To Meet The Women

For guys who are easing back into the game after ending a long-term relationship, I recommend online dating as a great starting point. Try setting up an account on match.com, yahoo personals, and craigslist (free). If you’re just trying to get laid, you might try adultfriender.com.

Remember what I said earlier about having pictures of you in a wide variety of contexts? Now is the time to use them. Write an interesting profile and upload those awesome pictures.

(Be sure to proofread your profile carefully before you activate it; if you’re not the greatest with spelling and grammar, have it looked over by a friend who has some writing ability. First impressions are huge, and no one is impressed by a profile that’s riddled with grammatical errors.)

Email all of the attractive women in your search range and see where it takes you. Don’t be surprised if you only get a few replies, or none at all, at first. You need to keep hacking away at it. The reality of online dating is that there are 2-3 times as many guys online as women, and the gals are wading through dozens, sometimes hundreds, of emails. It’s similar to regular dating, to be quite honest.

I also highly recommend that you get out of the house and go to bars and clubs, even if you haven’t been in years, or you dislike those venues. Women in your target range frequent these places, and that means you need to go where they are.

If you aren’t comfortable talking to a woman in a bar, why would she want to go on a date with you? She’s in the bar. You should be there, too. Go talk to her.

To make it easier, I recommend going with friends to the higher-end bars. You know the upscale Irish bar that every sizeable town has? Or the wine bar? Or the martini bar? Go to those places.

Yes, you can go to the crazy, booty shaking clubs also, but start with the venues that are closer to your vibe. I also recommend going on a night when it’s crowded and people are standing everywhere, since this makes it easier to spark up conversations with strangers.

Here’s another tip: go with married friends or couples. Having women in your group, regardless of whether they’re with their boyfriends or husbands, gives you “social proof” in the environment.(Essentially, any woman in your group is “vouching” for you as a cool person, in the eyes of all the other women in the room.)

You can even use your buddy’s girlfriend or wife as your “wing-women.” It can be a lot of fun. Or, have your platonic female friends introduce you to attractive women. (Women love to play “match maker” for a friend.)

Remember, this is a process that begins today, but will take some time and trial and error to perfect. There is no magic bullet to bag a younger gal.

You’re going to get blown off by some, but you’ll also have some fun, encouraging interactions and if keep at it, you’ll start getting phone numbers and lining up dates. Maintain a healthy perspective about the process: have fun first and foremost, and try to get dates second.

Good luck and here’s to you scoring a younger babe, the type your buddies wish they could have a shot at! Click here for tips on how to date young chicks.


The Universal Secret – And Why We Can’t Succeed With Women Without Part 1

Why is it that sometimes we can light up a room, while other times members of the opposite sex turn away from us in disinterest?

Could the answer to all of our “consistency issues” be right under our noses?

I’ll tell you the answer, but I’ll have to explain myself first for it to sink in. The difference between really connecting with people and not – the thing that every “natural seducer” is always doing in spades, without even thinking about it – comes down to simply speaking the universal language.

Cliché tells us that love is the universal language; however, this is only partially true and isn’t helpful for people looking for the translation – the Rosetta Stone – so to speak.

I actually have to thank an old smoking habit for helping me stumble upon it. Back in college, I had the pesky habit of bumming cigarettes. In fact, I did it so much that I got really good at it. I even developed my own little method.

Despite having the best method in the world, it became clear that whether or not I got a cigarette really depended on one thing:

You can try it yourself and get front row seats to the effects. First, go up to 10 people, ask them for a cigarette, and avoid eye contact and look indifferent. Next, go up to another 10 people, ask them for a cigarette – only this time look them directly in the eye and act as though you are in intense pain and that they hold the key to your freedom.

Everyone reading this who’s ever been a smoker is with me on this.

When I look into the eyes of a smoker with a look on my face that he or she can fully relate to – that I really need a cigarette – they feel that same pain as they are reminded of their own times of distress. When they feel that pain and can’t help but want to relieve it in another.

Ages before complex systems of naming and describing objects came into human existence, humans beings were communicating. Although the vast majority of us have a firm grasp over at least one of these systems, all of the communication that matters the most happens in the same way as it has for our entire existence of our humanity.

A quick look at an on-line thesaurus gives us over 30 words for “angry,” but if a 300lb man has the look on his face that says he’s pissed, everyone who gets even the quickest look at him is getting out of his way.

We need language to hammer out the fine details of a business contract—but how many people would actually do business with someone they didn’t trust, who didn’t give them the feeling that they had ulterior motives?

With that in mind, here’s how you always get your openers to “stick:”

The phrase, “you can tell a lot about a man by his handshake” has been around for awhile. More recently though, this has been taken to mean that one should attempt to squeeze another person’s hand as firmly as possible, to show how “confident” they are.

When you greet someone, you can tell a lot about them by their handshake, or more specifically, how they greet you in general. The “firmness” of the greeting, however, isn’t how you can tell (even though a firm handshake will often happen as a byproduct).

You can tell this by looking right at the person to see if his eyes are meeting yours and if he has a look of warmth on his face. If you approach a woman, and they look at you and your eyes aren’t meeting hers (theirs) and you don’t have a look of warmth on your face, she will get the same feeling you get when you’re working with a person that you just don’t feel right about, you just don’t trust, and you ultimately decide not to work with.

Let me make two things clear:

If you’re thinking about your “opener” when you approach a woman, or maybe just feeling shy, you will not be looking into her eyes, you will not have a warm expression on your face, and she’ll get that feeling that no human likes to feel.

If you start thinking about what to say during a conversation, or question whether or not she likes you, your eyes will drift, your face will become expressionless, and she will definitely get that feeling.

Plus there’s one more important factor to consider:

Women are much better at feeling this stuff than guys, and herein lies the apparent solution, and also the new problem.

On the one hand – success in communication, in being charismatic or a “natural,” lies in your ability to express emotion vividly on your face, and in turn make others feel that emotion. Without that, we’re merely self-aware computers exchanging information. And the last thing a woman wants when she goes out is to exchange information. She wants to feel.

On the other hand, it’s never quite that simple.

Human beings, especially women, have a keen intuition for when someone has their own self-interests in mind, rather than hers. It’s the same as when you just know that a bad salesman has his commission in mind as he’s talking to you.


Reprogramming Your Mindset & Being the Man She Wants Part 2

Click here for Part 1…

There is a proper time and place for talking to her about changing jobs, and providing her with thoughtful, constructive advice. She’ll need these things from you, too, and she’ll want this advice and guidance if you’re an older guy who is wiser about the ways of the world.

But never sound like you’re dismissing her problems as insignificant, and don’t attempt to give advice when she’s in a highly emotional state. Just provide comfort. Soothe her. Let her calm down on her own. Accept these moments as par for the course, especially when you’re dating a younger woman.

I do need to mention, if you find yourself involved with a “drama queen” who is having these outbursts on a daily basis, I suggest you kick her to the curb. Occasional mood swings are to be expected.

As men, it’s impossible for us to fully understand the emotional swings of women—especially the younger ones. You can’t rationalize them. What you can do is learn to master these situations and be the “rock” she needs.

Imagine her emotions as turbulent waves. You are the shoreline which those waves crash against…and as long as you stand firm, the waves will always subside eventually.

Whether you’ve been dating her for two weeks, or you’ve been married to her for five years, she’ll always have a subconscious need to test you from time to time. Her moments of “drama” are all about seeking reassurance that you are the rock she needs to feel safe and secure.

Women also seek reassurance through jealousy. I’ve dated some incredibly jealous women (and eventually broke up with them due to it). But along the way, I came to understand how to deal with it.

They’ll test you this way, and they’ll be sneaky. They’ll ask an innocent-sounding question that is actually an accusation, intended to make you reveal more information than you should.

Never fight fire with fire. Never try to explain yourself out of a silly accusation. And never dismiss her jealous feelings as if they’re petty and ridiculous. (Which they usually are, but that type of response from you only adds fuel to the fire.

Just maintain your cool and deflect it—as if cheating on her, or flirting with another woman, never even OCCURRED to you.

Here is an example of an actual conversation I had with a 21-year-old former girlfriend of mine. I had gone out to a bar with some buddies of mine the night before. (Whenever I date a woman, I make it clear to her up-front that I enjoy having a “guy’s night out” sometimes, and this is not something I’m willing to give up for the sake of a relationship.)

Most girls I’ve dated have absolutely no problem with me going out with the boys. They don’t bust my balls about it, and I don’t give them a hard time if they ever want to spend time with their girlfriends. But this particular girlfriend, after a few months of dating, was starting to have issues if I went out without her—and now she was going to “test” me.

Women are notorious for this. They’ll ask you something that sounds harmless, but it’s actually a “baiting question” designed to make you reveal more information than she should—which will then give her the go-ahead to drag you into an argument.

First, I’ll show you the wrong way to handle it:

HER: So, did you have fun with your friends at the bar last night?

ME:  Yeah, it was okay.

HER: I’m sure there were a lot of beautiful girls there. Did you talk to any?

ME: (sarcastic) Yeah, I was hitting on girls all night and I got a bunch of phone numbers. No, I didn’t talk to any girls. And if I did, so what? What’s wrong with having a friendly conversation with someone at a bar?

HER: Look, I know how men are. If you ever cheat on me, just tell me, okay? I just want you to be honest.

ME: I’m not cheating on you! Why are you so damn insecure?

(And the argument escalates…) 

Now, here’s the proper way to handle it: be completely calm and don’t take the bait.

HER: So how was last night? Did you talk to any girls?

ME: I was busy talking to my friend John. He needed my advice on some business stuff. So what did you end up doing last night?

(Change the subjectas if talking to other girls last night at the bar never even occurred to you.)

The bottom line is that women, in general, are needy. They crave reassurance. I don’t care if you’re dating a 40-year-old CEO or a 22-year-old stripper; the underlying programming is the same. They are jealous. They will get emotional (and at times, completely illogical), and they’ll test you to get confirmation that you’re the MAN they need not a weak, emotional, overly sensitive wimp who makes her question the relationship and your ability to make her feel secure.

 

 

Live A Rockin’ Lifestyle Part 2 by Lance

As a kid, Lance says he was the “prototypical skinny, Dungeons & Dragons playing nerd—totally unpopular in high school.” He then discovered sports and dedicated himself to athletics and fitness. In college, he joined the rowing team and competed successfully at the collegiate and national level. Realizing that he had a talent for leading and communicating with people, Lance then became a crew coach.

He also decided to use these skills to branch out into coaching men in a different area: achieving confidence and success with women. He is the co-author of  www.honeyandlance.com, a popular blog about dating, relationships, sex and life.

Lance decided to get serious about improving his own skills with women after reading “The Game,” the best-selling book by Neil Strauss. It prompted him to immerse himself in learning the art of “pickup” and becoming what he calls a “social artist.”

This launched him on a journey of discovery about women, dating, attraction, and the nature of being a true man in today’s world. His goal is to live a life of passion and adventure, and have deep and meaningful relationships with all those around him.

Click here for the Part 1.

* * * * *

Elevate Your Style. Just like having a cool haircut, you want to dress well and wear stylish, fitted clothes. If you’re a kick-ass professional dude, wear killer suits, take pictures of yourself in your good threads, and put them online.

Every guy should have a look, part of which is based on your body shape and facial structure, but also based on your attitude.

If you’re a VP of a company, wear the nice suits, but also get laid-back clothes like quality jeans, t-shirts, and button downs.

If you’re able to invest some money in your appearance and this is one investment that always pays big dividends don’t be afraid to completely update your wardrobe.

You’re going after younger hotties, so you have to play the game at their level.

Just make sure your style and look need to be congruent with your personality and your body shape. (If you’re a pudgy executive, it’s not going to work if you dress like a rock star.)If you try a look that doesn’t fit with your real personality, you’ll be sniffed out immediately as a fake.

If you’re doing the online dating thing, a great strategy is to put pictures of yourself in those killer suits, next to the ones of you hiking or kayaking inColorado, next to the ones of you out for drinks with your friends and having fun. You’re painting a picture of a complete lifestyle and showing yourself as a fully realized, fun and successful guy. This will give you an edge on the competition.

Travel & Adventure. Older men generally have the means to travel at least once in a while, and travel means worldliness and adventure. This is very attractive, and it’s one of the top things younger women are looking for. If you haven’t done any traveling at your age, you’re way behind the curve and you need to start taking trips immediately.

Explore theUS, go to Vegas, go to NYC. Check out some of the amazing parks. Explore. Then plan some trips overseas Europe, the Caribbean andSoutheast Asia.

Take tons of pictures and put them online. You want to project yourself as an adventurer, a man of the world, a guy who is cultured and experienced. Not only is this good for your soul, but it gives you tons of stuff to talk about on dates.

That young hottie you meet on a date has likely been toLondonandFrance, or maybe spent a summer backpacking around some foreign circuit, and you’re going to get major points for connecting with her on that level. A well-traveled man is attractive to women.

Passions and Hobbies. Besides work, what else do you have going for you? What are you really passionate about? Women want to know. It could be cars, motorcycles, surfing, writing, triathlons, diving, camping, traveling whatever. Have passions and live those passions. Passionate men are exceptionally attractive, and women will always ask about what you do on the weekends. I always emphasize the personal projects I work on after hours, because those define me better than my day job.

Music. Music is a smaller detail, but it’s something that can connect you wonderfully with younger women. If she’s a decade younger than you, she’s going to listen to different music. Are you familiar with Chevelle, Coldplay, Incubus, Jay Z, Blink 182, John Mayer, Beastie Boys, Tupac, Tool, or Jack Johnson?

If not, spend some time listening to the popular artists of the moment and become familiar with them. Even if you hate Tool, watch some of their videos on Youtube and form an opinion. Then find some tunes you do like and get into it. (You might be surprised by how much you like some of the new stuff.)

Music comes up all the time in conversation with women, and on dates, and it will be challenging for her to relate to you if the only bands you talk about are Led Zeppelin, Dylan, and the Stones.

Good musical taste marks you as a cool guy who’s “with it.” If you’re with it, the younger girls will begin to see you as a prospect. Combine this with your fitness, cool haircut, and killer threads, and you’ve got a winning combination.

Important tip #1: It’s extremely important to establish common ground with a younger woman. One of the big mistakes older guys make is that they don’t take the time to connect with her on her level. A 27-year-old woman is having a different life experience than a 45-year-old guy, but if she’s reasonably intelligent and sophisticated, there will always be subjects you can discuss with equal enthusiasm.

It’s up to you to find, and embrace, the commonalities. Some of the ways are through passions, hobbies, travel stories, and music. Once you’ve established common ground, your age becomes irrelevant because you’re relating to each other.

Important tip #2: Even if you’re 45, you don’t have to act like a middle-aged man, or fulfill any of those stereotypes. Much of being successful with younger women is your attitude. You want to be youthful and project youthful qualities: enthusiasm, fun, passion, excitement about what’s on your horizon.

At the same time, you want to emphasize all the good qualities that an older guy possesses such as maturity, high emotional intelligence, worldliness, and an overall sense of security and stability.

When it comes to upgrading your lifestyle, it’s an ongoing process. You’re not going to achieve it by next week. If you’re significantly overweight, it’s going to take a year or more of gym work to really get fit. Same thing if you’ve never traveled. This is a journey, so be patient and have fun.

Now that we’ve covered lifestyle, how do you actually meet the younger babes? I’m going to suggest a two-pronged attack. Click here for more tips on how to date young girls.


Meeting Younger Women Online Part 2 by Sam Stone

Guys in their 40 and 50s tend to have a harder time conceptualizing that they can be successful with younger women online. Age and experience, however, can be hugeassets that you use to your advantage.

For starters, stop viewing your age as a vulnerability, and don’t bother trying to hide (or fudge) the truth. Assuming you are truthful in your profile, your age is going to be listed right there for women to see.

Sure, a lot of guys will shave a few years off their actual age, but eventually you’ve got to meet these women in person and if you’re obviously way older than you claimed to be, she is going to automatically deem you untrustworthy.)

I’ve helped many guys to become more successful with dating younger women. Personally, I don’t date women over the age of 25, and with these methods I’ve managed to get up to 10 dates a week with beautiful women on a recurring basis.

I’ve also had the chance to experience firsthand some of the most common obstacles that older men face when using online dating. I’ve been fortunate to get really good at overcoming these obstacles, and other guys have asked me how to overcome these challenges.

This is why I’ve put this special report together: to help guys like us get over these obstacles easily, and find success in online dating—no matter what you want to get out of it.

Continuation…Part 2.

Click here for Part 1

Obstacle #4:

You don’t know what to write in an email, and you worry about what a girl is going to feel when she reads your emails.

Guys who are new to online dating often ask themselves: “What can I tell a girl about myself that will make her really interested in me?” Another question I hear a lot from older guys is, “should I explain why I’m contacting her, even though I’m out of her age range?”

The answer might surprise you: tell her nothing!

Don’t try to convince a girl to like you by telling her about your strengths and attributes. Don’t try to dazzle her with your personal “resume.” What you should do is convey the characteristics that generate attraction in a woman, through story telling and banter.

The qualities you want to convey are:

Confidence. Assume she is already attracted to you, and will definitely want to respond to your email. Don’t write things like, “I hope you’ll like my profile” or “or please write me back,” or end your email with, “eagerly waiting your response.” Assume that she is going to dig you, and the only thing left to figure out will be the logistics of your first meet.

Humor. If you can make a girl laugh, you’re way ahead of most guys. I’ve seen girls communicating, dating and sleeping with guys who have red flags saying “DO NOT date this guy!” splattered all over them—only because they were really funny, and know how to make a woman loosen up and laugh.

Now, when I say humor, I don’t mean that you need to include jokes in your email. I’m talking about playful humor—teasing the girl, making light fun of her.

For example, sometimes girls will accidentally email me their same first reply twice, because they clicked the “send” button twice. I’ll accuse them of being in love with me, and playfully ask them if they have any stalker tendencies. I make sure to let them know that I’m kidding, and that I’m teasing them, but of course they’ll write me back to deny it…and the correspondence is now moving ahead.

Sophistication. Older men can definitely use this quality to their advantage, and to show women that they can add a lot of social value to their lives. You’ve been around, you know cool places to go, you do cool things, etc…this gives you a huge advantage over the younger guys, who mostly just joke around and talk about insignificant things (i.e. how wasted they got with their “bros” at the bar last night).

Obstacle #5:

Online dating is frustrating, because you’re not getting any quality responses. You’re ready to give up…

First, let me say that I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to try and try, and not see any results. But there is hope for you, and this hope comes in the form of “Detachment.”

Detachment from results is one of the most important things you can do when learning a new skill.

This applies to learning skills with women as well, both online and offline as well. At least for a while, until you get really good at this, I want you to imagine that you’re simply playing a video game.

It takes a lot of practice, and trial and error, to master most video games. But every time you don’t win, you learn some more about how to beat the game or the level you’ve been stuck on.

Do you break down and get emotional when something bad happens to you in a video game? No, you just hit “restart” and play it again. Hopefully, you also learn something from your mistake and try not to do it again. It’s the same with online dating.

If you’re going for young high-quality women, you will get ignored and shot down. You will get occasional rude responses, and you will have girls try to mess with you. You will even have girls flake out on you and not show up to dates (once you get good at this, this will happen very infrequently, but it does happen).

Sometimes it will sting—like when you think things are going well, and suddenly a girl stops communicating with you. But you’ve gotta get back to the game, and play another round.

Remember that word: DETACHMENT. If you have to print it out and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or read it out loud to yourself every day, then do it. This is really important.

Obstacle #6:

I’m getting girls to go on dates with me, but we always end up just being “friends.” (Her suggestion, not mine!) How do I get a girl to come home with me?

Most guys think that they need some elaborate plan or scheme to get a girl to get physical with them, or come home with them after a date, but this is not true.

When you suggest that she comes to your place, you need to do it in a casual way that doesn’t even imply any physical contact. The best way to do it is to throw in some “anti-intimate” phrases that will make her feel a little bit confused about your intentions.

The groundwork for “closing the deal” (getting intimate with her back at your pad) should be laid during the date. When you talk about a subject during the date (I always talk about my dogs), you can use that later as a way to get her over (I’ll say, “come by and see my dogs, they’d love to meet you”). But here is the critical part: you always need to add a “de-sexifier” (yes, I invented that word) to make the invite seem innocent.

A good de-sexifier to tack on is, “…but you can’t stay for long, because I have to get up early tomorrow.” Attractive women usually have guys beg them to come over and stay for as long as they can, but by using that line, you’re throwing off her defense mechanism and making her feel you are different from the other guys, who are obviously hoping to get her to spend the night.

Another great de-sexifier one that should be used only if the vibe is right—is saying, “you can come over for a little while, but I’m not going to put out, so don’t get your hopes up…”

This is actually a sentence I stole from a girl who used it on me when I was learning this stuff. You will most likely get your arm punched, but inside, the girl is already going to be thinking of what it’s like being intimate with you.

In the meantime, good luck. Take the correct approach, and maintain the right attitude, and beautiful younger women are well within your grasp. There are literally millions of them online right now, as we speak so what are you waiting for?

Reprogramming Your Mindset & Being the Man She Wants Part 1

By Dean Cortez

According to Napoleon Hill, the author of classic motivational books such as How To Win Friends and Influence People, we’re pretty much “programmed” by the time we reach the age of 15.

This means as we grow into adulthood, we’re stuck with many of the same beliefs and behaviors that we developed as children. Many of these beliefs and behaviors are negative, and hold us back from achieving our full potential  For most people, this “conditioning” remains fixed for the remainder of their lives.

This is especially true in regards to how we view our prospects with women, and how we think women view us. The typical young man develops a whole range of damaging beliefs in these areas. He may come to believe that he’s physically unattractive, or not quite attractive enough to date exceptionally good-looking women.

And so, he goes through life dating and marrying women that he believes are “within his range.” He wouldn’t want to overstep his “boundaries” and go for a gorgeous, intelligent, first-class hottie, because he is programmed to believe it would be impossible. He’d only be setting himself up for humiliation and rejection (or so he tells himself).

Maybe in high school, he wasn’t a member of the “cool crowd.” He worked up the nerve to ask a cute girl to the prom, but she dissed him. This same guy, 20 years later, still considers himself to be “uncool” and is wracked with anxiety at the mere thought of approaching and talking to women.

These beliefs will always remain unless you make a conscious effort to reprogram yourself and shed them. This can be done at any age. It becomes a bit more difficult as we grow older, since we’ve spent so many years trapped in the same patterns and beliefs—but it absolutely can be done.

A large part of becoming successful with younger women is making the effort to transform your beliefs about women, and how they perceive you, because much of what you currently believe is simply not true. And this is probably holding you back more than you realize.

One of the top limiting beliefs among men is that women—especially the really hot ones—are only interested in men with a lot of money.

Now here’s what you need to realize. It’s not the money itself that women are powerfully attracted to. It’s the qualities that highly successful men tend to possess. They are often confident, decisive, independent thinkers. They are talented, passionate and ambitious. Their wealth is a byproduct of these super-attractive qualities.

Money alone will not keep a woman interested over the long-term. If a man has money but does not possess those attractive Alpha Male qualities, women will lose interest in him.

Just look at all of the wealthy men who have thriving careers, but can’t maintain healthy relationships and have suffered through multiple divorces.

I believe that in most of these cases, it’s the woman who loses interest in him, and this brings about the downfall of the relationship.

Over the years, she loses the “sweetness” that he fell in love with, and becomes cold and hostile. She constantly henpecks and nags him.  This is a natural response when a woman feels dissatisfied by her partner’s lack of Alpha Male qualities.

Subconsciously, she wishes he would show a backbone and demonstrate the strength that she needs to feel safe and secure. He might be a wizard at making money, but if he’s a “wuss” in the relationship and doesn’t know how to handle her emotional needs, she’s going to get awfully tired of him.

This can be especially true when it comes to younger women. If she’s 25 years old, she’s still sorting out a lot of things in her head. She hasn’t reached your stable position in life. She might be anxious about whether she’s on the right career path. Her friends are getting married and having children; she’s wondering if, and when, she’s going to go down that road.

Now I’m going to explain how to handle the emotional needs of younger women and be the MAN she’ll want to stick with.

Handling Her Emotional Needs

One of the fundamental (and most challenging) differences between the sexes is that men are driven by logic, while women are fueled by emotion. Understanding this, and how to overcome it, will make you much more successful in your quest to date younger women—and to maintain these relationships over the long term.

 As men, when we’re confronted with a problem, we seek to create a solution and solve it as quickly as possible. We take large problems and attempt to make them small.

Women, on the other hand, have a tendency to take small problems and blow them up to larger proportions. They react to minor problems by getting emotional, and “turning molehills into mountains.”

If you’re going to date younger women, you’re going to experience this. And you’ve got to know the correct way to deal with it.

When your younger girlfriend gets emotional and dramatic over something that you view as fairly unimportant, you basically have two options:

  • Tell her to calm down—she’s being silly and making a big deal over nothing.
  • Listen and express empathy (even if you feel she’s totally blowing things out of proportion). Be her emotional “rock” who is calm, steady and non-judgmental.

Trust me: the first option is only going to make things worse, and cause her to lose respect for you. Option #2 is the way to go.

Let’s look at an example. Your girlfriend, who works as a waitress, comes over to your house. You’ve cooked dinner (lasagna, your specialty) and you’re planning a relaxing, romantic evening together.

But when she shows up, she’s in a pissy mood. She starts complaining…

HER: I’m so sick of my goddamn job. Lisa, the other waitress, is such a bitch. She didn’t show up today, so I had to cover her tables. I’m doing the job of two people, and my boss is always giving me a hard time…

YOU: That’s why I keep telling you, you need to find a better job.

HER: I can’t just quit! How am I supposed to pay my bills? How am I supposed to make my car payments?

YOU: You never should have bought that car in the first place. You can’t afford it.

HER: But I love that car!

YOU: I’m just saying, you’ve got to be more responsible with your money –

HER: I don’t need a lecture from you right now!

YOU: And I don’t want to hear you complain about your stupid job! I had a shitty day, too, and I had to race home to cook dinner…

HER: You don’t even care, do you? You can be such an asshole sometimes…

YOU: You’re being ridiculous!

(The argument escalates, and ends with her storming out and slamming the door.)

Now let’s look at how the emotionally strong, mature man deals with the situation:

HER: I’m sick and tired of my job. I had to cover for Lisa again. I’m doing the job of two people, and my boss is always giving me a hard time…

YOU: Sounds like you had a rough day. I’m sorry to hear that, babe.

HER: It was awful. And I had this customer who was so rude…

YOU: Come here, honey. (You hug her, give her a little shoulder massage.) Why don’t you relax on the couch and tell me about it. Dinner’s almost ready; I’ll get you a glass of wine.

(She sits down, has some wine, complains a bit more…and then runs out of steam and starts to relax.)

YOU: Well, I can totally understand why you feel that way. I think my lasagna is going to cheer you up…

HER: Sounds good, hun. So anyway…how was your day?

(…and there you have it. Argument avoided. Her emotional outburst has been defused. Fast-forward two hours and a few more glasses of wine, and they’re having hot sex on the couch.) Click here for more tips on how to date young girls.