It’s not your age that’s the issue; it’s hers that might be the issue.
What if she’s too inexperienced and too naive? You’re the right age, but she has to prove to you that she’s wise beyond her years. Or, at the very least, willing to learn from you.
For some guys, believing this will take some work. Changing beliefs isn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially if there are a whole bunch of other beliefs tangled up in them. With patience and determination, however, you can start to believe that you have an advantage over younger men.
If you believe in yourself, possibilities open up. The major factor here is confidence and self-assuredness. I mean this in several ways. Not only does it mean that you’ve got self-esteem and believe in your own self-worth, but you’re also fearless and will go after whatever it is that you want.
That means you don’t think twice about approaching a 20 or 30-something woman. Project the sense that a man of your stature and confidence has gotten with younger women before; this should look easy.
You must exude the feeling that you’ve done this before, and being with a younger woman is nothing out of the ordinary. If you can truly grasp that and make it part of your belief system, then you will project it to her. It will make it that much easier for her to forget about the age difference.
Let me clarify that. Being with a younger woman has to seem par for the course, but you still want her to feel special. You’re not going after her because you need a younger woman. You’re interested in her because she seems interesting as a person. You just don’t want her to feel that her age is a big deal to you.
This kind of confidence comes from experience. It comes from making a concerted effort to be comfortable in that kind of situation. If you’re comfortable with women around your age, start frequenting places with a slightly younger age bracket (eg coffee shops), and start interacting slightly outside of your comfort zone. Work your way slowly, over the course of a few months, to the age group you want.
If you’re 40, don’t jump into a 20 year old’s world without experiencing some 30 year old and mid-late 20s women first. Your mind and nervous system prefers gradual change, and it’s best to approach it that way if you want to acquire a new set of permanent beliefs.
3. Your Selection Criteria
I have a 55 year old friend of mine who lives inIndia. Every Monday, he goes to an American karaoke bar and sings a few tunes. He doesn’t have the best voice in the world, but it is certainly a powerful one. After his first number, he buys a handful of people around him a round of drinks. Over the course of a few weeks from when he started, he’s become the guy that everybody knows.
Even in India, a place far more conservative than ourUnited States(and the rest of the western world), he’s been able to pick up several women under thirty at that bar. That’s because he embodies confidence and makes his presence felt. As a result, he has social status. At that bar, he’s near the top of the pecking order.
It’s a mindset that he has cultivated, and one that is accurately sent out as his image. The two cannot be separated.
* Side Note: People (men and women both) defer to a man who takes care of them. I’ve mentioned buying drinks twice before. Supposedly, in the seduction circle, that’s a sign of weakness. You’re not supposed to “buy” her affection or attention. But when a man isn’t using it in a subservient manner, when he isn’t trying to impress her, it leaves a different impression. My friend buys drinks for a group of people; the girl he’s interested in just happens to be within that group. If you buy her a drink with the attitude that, “Of course I’m going to buy you a drink. I take care of all my friends this way,” it comes across quite a bit better.
I think, with age, comes more of a requirement to take care of women. The older you get, the more likely you’ll have to provide for the woman you select. Certainly, you’ll be expected to pick up the tab.
No matter who you select, she’s looking for some type of demonstration of the pecking order. You’re expected to be at the top because you’re older. Those at the top take care of the ones underneath him.
Don’t mistake this to mean you pay for everything. It’s not like you have to pay for her college tuition. Just a demonstration is all that’s required. It shouldn’t look like a demonstration, either.
My friend has found a place that, for him, works well. He’s able to demonstrate his authority and youthfulness among all age groups. I think you’ll benefit in finding the same. Some bars, coffee shops, and even something like night classes, would have a varied age group.
Of course, it isn’t necessary to go “somewhere.” If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll be able find women anywhere. But, for the sake of practice, it’s a good idea to find place where you can become a regular and befriend a few people (yes, even men) younger than you are.
One more thing to consider is that there are some women who are more likely to disregard the age gap than others. In my experience, the more intelligent the woman, the more likely mature the man she dates. It’s not an inalterable rule, obviously, but it’s a good starting point to find receptive girls. Also, the more “alternative” she is (in the way she dresses and what she believes in), the more likely she’ll overlook the age difference. A vegetarian, for example, has an alternative mindset.
Ask yourself, “Why am I seeking out a younger woman?” I know, the real answer is because you and I both want a smoking hot chick in our beds so we can say, “I’ve still got it.” Besides that, find some other answers for yourself. What are you looking for? Come up with some good answers that ring true for you, and seek those types of women out. If you have a clearer goal, it’s easier to attain.
A Final Note
Finding a younger woman is not much different from finding one your age. You just have to be surer of yourself, more confident, and demonstrate capability and authority. Failure comes from a weak image; you cannot waver.
Change your beliefs about what you’re capable of doing. If you take it slowly, you can really surprise yourself. Then, go out there and take some chances. Use your age to your advantage.
It’s not about pulling the wool over her eyes so that she believes you to be someone you’re not. It’s about becoming the kind of man she’s always dreamt of. Many women are looking for the kind of guy you are. You just have to really be that guy.
You can do this. And if you need any help in getting there, I’m here to help.
