Understanding The Inner Game From Love Systems

Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in dating science. It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection.

Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level; that is, I can’t convince you how to think or look at life differently. Only you can do that. However, I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.

Attracting Women And The Inner Game

To me, inner game problems boil down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. I’m going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.

Experience:

dating younger women When people ask me how I developed the kind of “rock solid confidence” that allowed me to put myself out there on national TV, I always answer the same way: “Practice.”

When you think about what confidence actually is, you realize that it’s simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with.

It’s only when we’re thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women, simply because they don’t talk to women!

It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong.”

This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!

Think about it this way. When you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down?

Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having. Even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well, this is the same thing.

I remember before I took my bootcamp (taught by Tenmagnet), I wasn’t any good at meeting women. I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The bootcamp put me on the right path, and I had the model of how things were supposed to go and had seen instructors doing it properly up close

But I still wouldn’t have made the most of things if I hadn’t gotten used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isn’t easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it.

Don’t get mad at her or yourself, don’t go home, just accept that it’s a completely normal and necessary part of the learning process. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

Mindset:

Most of us grew up in a society that implied a dual-concentric model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle, reality, through our inner circle, our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked, that our consciousness was independent of it… but recently this all changed.

We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is, reality exists inside our mind, and we create our own reality with our thoughts (or beliefs, if you’d rather).

What does this mean?

As far as any of us know, there may only be one reality: your own. Who is to say that I’m not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing out this entire article to send a message to you, from your subconscious mind. It’s possible.

The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don’t be one of them.

I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

“Think of it this way: what if, let’s say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play. He says this:”

“This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let’s say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be, anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these ‘beliefs.’ Think of it as your “console hack.”

“I’m sure you saw this coming, but this ‘game’ already exists and it’s called reality. You become who you believe you are.”

Sound a little like the Matrix? Well, that’s okay. Like I said, I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective, and this is simply how I believe reality works.

I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before: I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women. I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home.

It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?

“The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is… to remember that you already are.”

Click here for more tips on dating younger women.

The Archetypes Part 1

Archetype One: “The 40 Year-Old Virgin”

This type of guy doesn’t necessarily need to be a virgin in the strict, sexual sense. By “virgin” I might also mean a guy who has managed to have a lot of stuff in his life handled well: he might have a great career, education, health, and spirituality, and yet he hasn’t dated much since college. Or, he might have been married for decades and recently divorced.

Perhaps his career kept him too occupied. One way or another, he’s reached a mature stage in his life in certain respects, but when it comes to dating/seducing women, he knows less than most men who are 10 or even 20 years younger than he is.

The greatest challenge for such “late beginner” lies in the sense of embarrassment of being a beginner at his age. But you’ve got to approach the process of learning pickup the way you would any other skill, such as learning to play a musical instrument; you set aside some time each day to learn and practice.

Archetype Two: “The Giver-Upper”

We all know guys who have a mundane daily routine working, eating, sleeping, running chores, going through the paces and slouching through it all, with little to look forward to or get excited about?

Like any of us, this guy had great dreams once, and had talents to match those dreams but at some point he gave up hope, and began to lose interest in life, and in himself?

Whatever it is that brings happiness and enthusiasm to the lives of other men, he figures it has passed him by it’s simply “too late” for him to experience those things.

And yet there is something still alive in that man’s soul, which makes him crave the companionship of a woman.

He believes the right relationship would make him happy.

Neurotic perfectionism is likely to be at the core of such a self-defeating attitude. This guy expects “all” or “nothing” of himself. Since “all” would not be plausible for anyone, he settles for “nothing.”

He’s facing a tough task of accepting and surviving his imperfection he can’t find a way to emerge from the cloud of denial he has enveloped himself in, and improve his situation and sense of self-worth.

All of the greatest things any of the greatest human beings ever achieved have the ordinary at their core. Embrace the ordinary: the brilliant people who make Apple computers are not as perfect as their product (and it’s not that perfect, either); Beethoven’s music is almost supernatural in its beauty, but the guy who composed those symphonies and quartets was just as imperfect in his humanity as any of us.

Join a gym. Free some time to do things you always dreamed of doing. Dare to be ordinary and yet dare to be as great as your dreams are. Wake up.

Archetype Three: “The Brainwashed”

This one is the toughest cookie. He defines reality by what he watches on TV, or reads in men’s magazines. He overlooks great women whose love would make any man proud, just because he believes that a man of his stature must date women with “model” looks.

His self-respect is based on the value of labels attached to things he owns, drives, wears, eats, or drinks. He finds safety in the brand. A woman is no more than a status symbol for him, even though he would deny it in public for the sake of political correctness.

Fear of reality drives this man. His case may be the most challenging, because he is not aware of his fear. This man has to slow down and face the fear. This is the only way for him to meet a woman he would actually be happy with.

Otherwise, he is bound to always take the wrong turn at the road fork of his destiny.

Live A Rockin’ Lifestyle Part 1 by Lance

As a kid, Lance says he was the “prototypical skinny, Dungeons & Dragons playing nerd—totally unpopular in high school.” He then discovered sports and dedicated himself to athletics and fitness. In college, he joined the rowing team and competed successfully at the collegiate and national level. Realizing that he had a talent for leading and communicating with people, Lance then became a crew coach.

He also decided to use these skills to branch out into coaching men in a different area: achieving confidence and success with women. He is the co-author of www.honeyandlance.com, a popular blog about dating, relationships, sex and life.

Lance decided to get serious about improving his own skills with women after reading “The Game,” the best-selling book by Neil Strauss. It prompted him to immerse himself in learning the art of “pickup” and becoming what he calls a “social artist.”

This launched him on a journey of discovery about women, dating, attraction, and the nature of being a true man in today’s world. His goal is to live a life of passion and adventure, and have deep and meaningful relationships with all those around him.

* * * * *

If you’re a guy over the age of 40, the key to getting dates with younger women is cultivating the right lifestyle. This principle applies to dating in general, but it’s especially important if you’re going after girls 10 or more years younger than yourself.

Let’s look at an example of a 40+ guy. Bill is 45, six feet tall, with average looks a little flabby but not obese. He’s got a full head of hair, though it’s graying and thinning a bit. He’s a working professional, makes a good living, owns his own house, and drives a nice car.

Bill is recently divorced and looking to meet a highly attractive, intelligent woman in her mid 20s to early 30s.

He’s not against the idea of dating women his age, but he’s strongly attracted to the younger hotties out there.

I respect where he’s coming from; I would be doing the exact same thing. I’m 33 and I actively seek out and date girls in the 21 to 26 age range, because that’s what I’m most attracted to so why settle for anything less?

A guy like Bill will typically convince himself that his age places him outside of the “ideal” search range of most younger hotties. He may believe that being divorced makes him “damaged goods” in the eyes of most never-married women. And he’s usually going to be self-conscious about his average looks and physique.

What Bill needs to realize, however, is that he has powerful assets working in his favor. He’s a successful professional (perhaps even an expert in his field), and this is huge. This is going to help him tremendously, because it indicates that he’s a man of means; he has money, security, intelligence, and it would be easy to assume that he’s ambitious and confident. These are all qualities that attractive younger women are looking for.

What else are younger women looking for? If she has reached her 30s and has never been married, she’s probably looking to settle down with the right guy and have kids. If she’s divorced with no kids, she may be looking to settle down again, or she may be looking to have some fun and play the field. These types of women are usually open to dating an older guy.

Or, if she’s single and has kids, she may be open to a casual sexual relationship because she doesn’t have a lot of time for a serious relationship, and would rather not introduce a new “boyfriend” to her kids at this time.

My point is that there are a variety of categories when you’re talking about younger women, and a multitude of reasons why they may be looking to date, or just have fun with, an older guy.

Lifestyle

Now, back to my original premise: having the right lifestyle will attract younger women. Lifestyle encompasses a bunch of stuff, so let’s break it down:

Fitness and looks.

Having average looks doesn’t help, but it doesn’t hurt you either. Women are funny in that they’ll be immediately attracted to a hot guy, but they’ll be more deeply attracted to man with high social value. A lot of girls will even say they don’t care about looks they care more about intelligence, personality, and confidence.

If you’re a mature, independent professional, you’ve got a huge head start! Stack the deck even further by improving your fitness and looks. If you’re out of shape and carrying an extra 20-30 pounds (or more), get a gym membership and work out daily. Don’t just do it because you want to get chicks do it because you’ll feel and look better, and because you’ll be healthier and live a longer life. In my opinion, there is zero excuse for not being fit, no matter your age.

Even if you’re lugging the spare tire but making an effort to get toned, people will take notice. Co-workers will ask, “have you lost weight?” and chicks will dig on you more. It’s an amazing feeling and it will encourage you to keep hitting the gym.

Go even further and play sports. Did you play soccer or basketball back in high school or college? How about running or cycling? Get back into it, train for an event, and enjoy the fitness benefits. Consider picking up a “cool” new sport like snowboarding or surfing. Make sure to get some sun. A tan goes a long way towards improving your disposition.

A 45-year old guy who’s fit and tanned suddenly looks like he’s 35. He’s also the handsome, sexy gentleman, as opposed to the middle-aged fatso.

Get a cool haircut.

This falls under the looks category, but it’s so important that I want to break it out as a separate item. DO NOT go through life with a lame, “older guy” haircut. The last thing you want is to look like a sad sack insurance salesman. If you have a full head of hair, grow it out a bit, go to an upscale stylist, and tell them you want a cool cut. Let them go to town.

One great tip is to find a gay male stylist, because they give the best cuts. I always advise to keep your hair its natural color (i.e. graying) because chicks think it’s dignified and sexy, and often times a dye job looks unnatural and is an obvious attempt to conceal your true age.

Are you balding or almost bald? If so, consider going clean-shaven if you have the right skull and body shape. Generally this looks great on leaner guys, but it can certainly work with the bigger guys if you have the right skull shape. You might try rocking the Mr. Clean look with a well-groomed goatee.

If you’re not sure what a cool cut for a 45-year old guy looks like, watch practically any television show and note the popular actors in your age range to get some idea. There are actors who have very little hair, but they style and groom themselves immaculately. Click here for more surefire tips on how to date young women.

You’re Never Too Old To Get A Hot Younger Girlfriend

Get A Hot Younger Girlfriend

I have a friend named John who is in his early 40s, recently divorced, and trying to jump back into the dating scene. Like a lot of guys who are “back the game” after a long hiatus, John is interested in dating younger women: fun, sexy women in their 20s and early 30s. Those are the girls John wants to be with. He keeps in good shape. He’s a fun, outgoing guy. So why shouldn’t he go after the younger women he desires most?

But John as a “sticking point” that he always seems to run into when he takes younger women out on dates: he has a hard time Closing the Deal. He came to me with a question yesterday that I’ve been asked by many men:

“What’s the best way to invite a girl back to my place?”

Well, the first thing you need to understand is, women have a FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN. This is why it’s so important to project that you are a safe, stable, trustworthy guy. You can accomplish this by “dropping hints” during the conversation in a strategic way. And when your goal is to bring her home at the end of a date…and she’s never been inside your place before… it is natural for her to feel some reluctance.

This is because your place — your environment — is UNKNOWN to her.

Her female radar “kicks in,” and her mind comes up with reasons NOT to go there, such as…

– Your place might be dirty and unsanitary. (Women feel very uncomfortable in that type of environment.)

– You might have some weirdo roommate who is going to creep her out.

– You might have a girlfriend or wife that you didn’t tell her about — and she might show up and start some drama!

– You might live REALLY far away. When she goes home later, she’s going to have a hard time finding her way back to her place.

Those are just some of the things she might be thinking.

Here is my point: you need to ELIMINATE her concerns, suspicions, and fears and make it EASY for her to think, “sure, going to your place sounds fine.”

So how do you make her think this way? You SHOW her your place, and let her become familiar with it, BEFORE you take her out on the date! It’s actually SUPER easy to do…

Here is how you play it. When you call her and set up the date, tell her to MEET YOU outside of your place, so that you can ride in your car together and go to the date location.

(Bar, restaurant, coffee shop, whatever.)

How To Get Younger Women

Women ALWAYS agree to this. Because A), they are curious about where you live. They are nosy! They want to check out the exterior of your home/apartment/condo.

(Notice, you didn’t say “come over and hang out at my place.” You said, “meet me OUTSIDE my place so that we can ride to the restaurant together.”

And B), they feel more comfortable riding in your car with you, especially if the date location is a place they are not familiar with.

You know how women are with driving — they’d really rather not do it…

OK, now here is how to use this Tactic when dating younger women —

When her car pulls up to your place, go outside — like you’re ready to go on the date — and then tell her you forgot to do something. You need to go back inside and send an email or make a phone call:

“Hey! How are you…oh my God, I just remembered, I need to send an email (or make a phone call) before we go. It’s for my work. Come inside for a minute.”

She will agree to this. Naturally, she is curious to see the INTERIOR of where you live.

So escort her into your place…

Pour her a glass of wine (or some water, if she doesn’t drink), and then you go into the other room and pretend to handle your phone call or email.

The idea is this: you are letting her get familiar with your place. Now it is no longer an unknown environment to her.

While you spend 5 or 10 minutes in the other room, you are leaving her alone to check out your pad.

And trust me, she WILL check it out. She’ll snoop around a bit, take a look at your pictures, perhaps look inside your refrigerator… she’ll look for any evidence of a girlfriend (or wife) you didn’t mention…

And this means you MUST have a clean place. Your bathroom has to be extremely clean. I’m talking STERILE — open-heart surgery could be performed inside your bathroom! That’s how clean it should be.

Why? Because she will probably want to use it. (Scented candles and very plush bath towels will make the right impression on her.)

So, after 5 or 10 minutes, you finish up your “business” and you come back into the living room and rejoin her. Now the two of you get in your car and go on your date. That all sounded very simple. But what you just did with her is HUGE on a psychological level. Because, at the end of the date, when you suggest going back to your place — to have a glass of wine, watch a movie, or whatever other Tactic you use from my book — she ALREADY KNOWS your environment.

She already KNOWS that your home is a comfortable place to go back to, and chill out. It’s clean, comfortable, and she already knows you’re not some horndog who is going to try to jump on top of her the moment she comes in the door. So you take her out for a nice time, you get her back to your place, and that is when the MAGIC happens… Click here for more

Putting Younger Women In “Pursuit Mode” By Dean Cortez

Does he REALLY like me…or is he just playing games, like he does with ALL his girls?

This is what should be running through her head while you tease and flirt with her. It makes her want to keep playing the game. Whenever she’s with a guy like this, she’ll want to look her best, and act her sexiest, in order to get the confirmation she craves.

The key is to NEVER give her total confirmation.

When a woman is attracted to you, she desperately wants to know if the feeling is mutual! (Remember what I told you earlier, about how men and women judge “success.”) You can work women into a frenzy this way…by NEVER letting the girl know that she’s “won.”

For this reason, you must never tell her how long you’ve wanted to ask her out, admit how attracted you are to her, or tell her how you think the two of you would be “great together.”

If these sound like winning romantic gestures, turn off your television, because you’ve been watching too manyHollywoodmovies. Only in the movies can the dork or the shy guy win over the hottest girl in school in the end because he makes some grand, romantic declaration.

In reality, it’s more likely that she’ll regard this as weakness on your part. (And remember how I said emotional STRENGTH is one of the big keys to attraction.) Nine times out of ten, your “confession” isn’t going to prompt her to confess her own attraction to you. It will only take you down a notch in her eyes. You are no longer an original; you are just another guy who can’t control his emotions or his libido.

Play it cool and act like nothing fazes you. You’re a train moving full-steam ahead. The choice is hers: she can climb onboard and take an exciting ride, or you can roll without her to the next stop. Either way, you’re an independent guy, doing your own thing.

Another advantage of using the Tactics I teach is that if you use the right conversational techniques and “build the bridge” (as I explain in detail in the “Ultimate Edition” book), it will become clear whether she is interested in you on a sexual level. You won’t be shooting in the dark, worrying that she’ll freak out if you try to touch her.

When you follow the correct progression of steps, escalating from conversation to physical touching, you’ll never have to wonder whether she “likes you as a friend” or whether she’s interested in more. You’ll know how to read her signals, and your Tactics will be gently leading her down the path to “yes”…instead of giving her reasons to say “oh, look at the time…I should be getting home soon.”

Evaporate the physical boundaries between you by making body contact with her. The best times to do so are when you’re both laughing. Reach over and give her a knee a light touch. High-five her and interlace your fingers with her, then disengage. What you’re doing is acclimating her to your touch, so that it becomes something she is comfortable with. This way, later in the night when you hold her hand, kiss her for the first time, or initiate the foreplay that leads to sex, she’s already “warmed up” to your touch.

Guys will often fail to escalate because they don’t want to be seen as too aggressive. (It’s just an excuse, really, for not wanting to risk rejection and they’re not confident that she will agree to the escalation, because they haven’t laid the right groundwork.)

If you’ve laid the groundwork, made her physically comfortable with you, and built up her attraction by framing yourself as a hard-to-get “prize,” she’ll be receptive when you take things to the next level. But it’s on you to lead her there.

I remember one time having a girl sleep over at my house, in my bed, and I didn’t “try anything” because I didn’t want to screw it up. We lay there together and talked for hours, then she drifted off to sleep while I laid next to her all night with a hard-on. I figured there was no hurry, and that if I acted like a gentleman she’d trust me and we’d have sex next time.

Unfortunately, there was no “next time.” She never called me again. By not escalating with her, she viewed me as a Wuss, and she may have even felt a little bit insulted. She’s an intelligent, sexually experienced adult. She knew what was supposed to follow when she willingly climbed into my bed and laid down next to me. But I failed to lead her down that path.

The key is to BUILD UP to intimacy and sex with a progression of steps. Perhaps the biggest mistake that guys make is trying to seduce women before the groundwork has been laid. You don’t ask a girl out on a date before you’ve spent time chatting with her and getting her interested in you. Likewise, you shouldn’t go for a kiss when you haven’t even laid a finger on her all night. You build up to the first kiss by making contact with her throughout the evening: touching her leg while you tell a story; giving her a brief hand massage; brushing her hair back from her eyes; placing your hand on the small of her back as you guide her through a door…etc.

(The small of her back is actually a GREAT spot to make contact with. It’s an erogenous zone that is dense with nerve endings.)

If there is a mutual attraction, let her be the one to express her feelings to YOU, and when she does, play it even more cool. If she says something that implies she likes you and wants to date you, give a vague response that strings her along.

HER: “So what you do you think…y’know, about you and me?”

YOU: “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you. Let’s just take it slow and see where it goes…no pressure, no expectations.”

(The more you seem like you don’t really give a shit either way, the more DESPERATELY she’ll want you to validate her feelings!)

But don’t give her that validation. Keep her wondering: will she ever be able to have you all for herself, or will you be with another girl tomorrow when she’s waiting for your phone call?

She’ll want to keep earning points with you, to get the confirmation that she desires. In the meantime, you are the one holding the cards.

Bring Her Into Your World Instead of Trying to Get Into Hers.

A good friend and former student of mine is 45 years old and regularly dates women in their early 20’s. He’s incredible now, but he wasn’t very good with women less than two years ago. He got to this point by going out a few days a week and practicing in bars, clubs, and during the day as well.

So, he was recently chatting with one of these women. She’s twenty years his junior, and he’d been seeing her for some time. They were watching the show “Top Chef” on TV. One of the hosts, the stunning Padma Lakshmi, is a model and the former wife of Salmon Rushdie (a highly respected author who is seven years older than her father, and not exactly conventionally handsome).

The woman he was with commented that she couldn’t believe Lakshmi could marry someone so much older and uglier. “What do you mean?” he responded. “She’s just a pretty girl. She was born pretty. He’s one of the world’s greatest living authors.”

What a fantastic answer! An interesting look came over her face as she realized that his comment also had some bearing on their relationship.

Her world seems shiny and exciting from the outside. But as an older man, your world is actually so much more interesting and rich, with so much more to offer. Don’t even try to play the game of trying to compete in her world. You’ll lose. Instead, let her discover your world and all the amazing things you have to offer.

Embrace the Age Difference

You may be wondering if you are too old for her, and you may find yourself wanting to convince her that you aren’t. Perhaps she’s even brought it up.

Instead of trying to convince her that you aren’t too old for her, you should embrace the age difference. Start questioning whether she is experienced enough for you.

My 45-year-old friend is excellent at embracing the age difference. He’ll ask the women whether they’ve seen “Midnight Cowboy,” “Mean Streets,” and “The Graduate,” three edgy classics from the golden age of American cinema, the late 60’s and early 70’s.

When she says no, he shakes his head and laments, “You need me, sistah. You realize that, right? Now, I have to figure out if I need you.” These movies are in his DVD collection, so this sets up a nice movie night with take-out at his place.

He will also ask them about other experiences, like travel, restaurants, and books. But when he “asks,” he’s really challenging her, because at her age there is no way she could have as many interesting experiences as he.

Make Her Feel Special

One of the challenges of dating someone who lives in such a different world than yours is being able to appreciate her. Sure, she looks sexy, and she’d certainly be a blast in bed, but how do you connect with a girl who lives in such a different world?

Well, how do you connect with anyone? Building a connection with a woman comes down to making her feel special, making her feel valued, making her feel unique different than every other girl in the world.

And you don’t do this by showering her with compliments from the start. When you first meet a woman, particularly a younger one, you can’t act completely won over by her within the first minute.You want to be interested, but a little bit aloof, and gradually show more interest as she qualifies herself to you. Notice I said that she is qualifying herself to you.

You shouldn’t be sitting there talking on and on and on about everything in your life. This will only show how badly you want to impress her. And trust me, she won’t be impressed.

The idea is to get her talking. Remember, it’s how you make her feel about herself, rather than how you make her feel about you. All it takes is a bit of genuine interest to make her feel like you’ve really gotten to know her.

But how can you possibly relate to someone so young, someone who lives in another world than you? On top of that, how can you relate when you, as an older man, have so much to offer her, so much experience, so many great things that will be difficult for her match?

The answer is that no matter where you are in life, we all share commonalities. We all have struggles and hopes and fears. We all feel joy and sadness.

Connect with her on the emotion. Open yourself up to her as well on an emotional level. While commonalities can certainly help to build friendships, you celebrate the differences with your friends and learn from other people because of those differences.

The same holds true with younger women. You can learn so much from each other, if you can learn to connect on an emotional level.

Be Willing To Suck At This At the Beginning…

I coach a lot of younger guys as well as older guys. Sometimes I think to myself, “Oh man, I wish I’d learned to do this stuff in college!”

But being a little bit older has its advantages. There are certain advantages to having lived a little longer, to having been around the block once or twice.

I know how to motivate myself. I have so much knowledge, insight and experience at my disposal that I didn’t have twenty years ago.

That experience makes my learning in the realm of women all that much richer and enjoyable. It takes a little bit of practice to get good at it.

You may not be successful the first few times you do it. You may think to yourself, “I’m good at so many things, why aren’t I good at this?”

But you know as well as I do: getting good at something you are not good at requires ACCEPTANCE that you aren’t good at it.

If you want to learn to play the drums, you have to be willing to sit in front of that drum kit and be all thumbs for a while until you get a feel for it.

The pain and struggle starts to become less and less, and the fun and creative expression starts to increase, the more you practice.

You won’t be a genius at this at first. And that’s okay. But keep working at it, and pretty soon you will have those hot young women in your life.

Click here for more tips on how to date younger girls.

Skills You Must Master To Succeed With Younger Women

Tell Great Stories.

A boring older guy will never be able to attract younger women. To connect with a younger woman, you will need to reveal personal information about yourself and reveal it in an interesting manner.

So what’s the key to telling interesting stories? I suggest you actually sit down and think about your life, and write down some of the more interesting experiences you’ve had. Be detailed. What lessons did you learn? How did they change your view of the world, and of yourself? Or perhaps there wasn’t any “moral” to the story…it was just a fun, crazy experience that women will enjoy hearing about.

Once you’ve worked on your stories, find ways to use them in conversations with women. A good story will hook her interest. These are just a few examples (and you can come up with your own):

An interesting place you have been to recently
The most fascinating person you’ve ever met
What you would like to do when you get older
What you would like to learn in the future
A frightening experience you had when you were young
A person you like to spend time with
The most exciting, heart-pounding experience you ever had
A favorite pet you had as a child
A place you would like to visit in the future
A person you hope to meet some day
A person who has influenced your life
Something you have never done, but would like to do
Something you have done, but never want to do again
An experience which made you laugh uncontrollably
An experience which made you cry
What you would do if you were President of your country

Get Lucky

I know this probably sounds like a major oversimplification, to tell you to “get lucky.” Isn’t this about learning specific skills? Yes, meeting younger women is about learning a set of skills. But don’t ever forget that luck is a part of it.

Sometimes you go out, all the stars in the universe align, and you just seem to get lucky. You meet a woman and the conversation flows as if you’re two old friends who have been reunited.

Or you go to a bar, make contact with a woman, and you effortlessly hook up with her. (Actually, there was effort involved you had to show up, open your mouth, and take some risks.)

There’s always some degree of luck involved. The good news is that to a large degree, you can create your own luck. I remember once having a conversation with a very famous actor, and I asked him whether success in Hollywood was about being “in the right place, at the right time.”

He explained to me that in the early years of his career, he hustled relentlessly for acting gigs. He attended every audition and networking opportunity he possibly could.

He believed that if he was everywhere all the time, eventually he’d find himself in the right situation to capitalize on an opportunity. And that’s exactly what happened.

Naturally, when he became a big star, those were who jealous of his success attributed it to “luck.” But in reality, it’s like the quote says: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

I see a lot of guys either taking no action and complaining about their lack of “luck” with women, or they go out and feel like they have to try super hard to meet women. Well, neither approach works so well with meeting younger women. Doing nothing obviously produces no results. On the other hand, when you are obviously trying super hard with younger women, you give off a needy, high-strung vibe that women find repellent.

Going out with a relaxed attitude, and an openness to whatever comes your way, is the ultimate mindset. The other essential component is knowing in your gut that sometimes you will lucky, and sometimes you won’t. Either way, we say go out anyway and work on meeting and scoring with younger women.

Get Into Her Reality.

This shouldn’t come as a shocker to you, but the reality is that younger women are generally bored shitless by how most men talk to them. Most guys do not, in fact, relate to women at all. They talk about topics women, and especially younger women, could care less about. They talk about their jobs, their computers, car, sports, and technical and mechanical topics that just end up turning off women completely.

What do women care about? In a nutshell, they care about emotions, travel, unusual topics, psychology, what makes people tick, and most of all, THEMSELVES. So, your job is to get into her world as much as possible and ask the sorts of questions that will encourage her to reveal herself to you.

The mistake happens when you, the man, ask too many questions and do not reveal anything about yourself. The conversation becomes too one-sided and feels more like an interrogation than a dialogue. Remember, a conversation is two-way street. When you share something about yourself, you should shift the focus back the other way and learn something about her.

As you converse with younger women, slip outside of your normal perspective and get into her reality. Learn about how she views life, what she deeply cares about, her likes and dislikes, her dreams, her aspirations, and her fantasies.

Ask Amazing Questions

As an older guy, it’s especially important to understand the art of building rapport, and how to elicit and talk about interesting material. If not, you are sunk. This is one of the critical areas that separate the men from the boys.

As I mentioned earlier, most guys approach women in extremely boring and predictable ways. They ask cliché, uninspiring questions. You need to find ways to ask her questions that challenge her to think in new ways. At the same time, asking amazing questions can create a fun atmosphere.

Here are a few different types of questions that you can ask a woman to create great connections. These are not the most slick or sexual questions you can ask a woman (you shouldn’t be asking those sorts of questions until after you’ve hooked her interest, anyway). But these questions will give you some general ideas about generating interesting conversations:

Interesting Personal questions…

Do you have any phobias?

Tell me three things you like about yourself.
If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?
What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own— maybe not in terms of its price, but its personal value to you?

If someone made a movie about your life, what would they call it?
If you were in the “MissAmerica” talent competition, what would your talent be?

Personal, Playful and fun Questions…

You have complete access to your city for 24 hours. It’s April Fool’s Day. What prank would you pull off?
If you could steal one thing and get away with it, what would it be?
What is the stupidest pickup line a guy has ever used on you?
If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it.
What’s one thing about you that people would be surprised to know?

Personal, deep questions…

If you won the lottery tomorrow, and never had to work another day in your life, how would you spend your time?
If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want, and why?
What’s the kindest act you have ever experienced (something you did for someone, or something they did for you)?
What person has influenced your life the most? Why?
Did you ever have a really important turning point in your life?
What scares you the most?
If you could ask God a question, what would it be?
What’s the most important thing to you in life?

Clarification Questions…

As she talks and reveals things to you, you should keep the momentum moving along by asking “clarifying questions.” These give her the sense that you’re listening attentively and are sincerely interested. They also encourage her to keep talking and revealing.

• What do you mean by ______?

• Why do you think that’s true?

• What are your reasons for saying that?

• Why did you say that?

• Where did you get this idea?

• Have you always felt this way?

Click here for more tips on how to date young women.

Dating Tips For Men – How To Get A Sexy Younger Girlfriend

Dating Tips And Advice For Men

Look, if you’d rather be dating and hooking up with beautiful younger women — and you DON’T want to date bitter single mothers, angry feminists, or girls who come with a lot of baggage — the important thing to keep in mind is that younger babes actually PREFER to be with older guys.

(Actually, you can learn exactly how to become the older guy that younger women desire by going to our How To Date Younger Women site.)

You can absolutely succeed with dating younger women. It’s true.Over the past 200-plus years, the United States government has been taking note of statistics for the ages of men and women getting married. And every year, there is a more significant gap between the ages of women and men who marry each other.

The bottom line is, the average age difference between guys and their wives continues to get bigger.

Here’s another interesting statistic: men who marry for a second time are usually doing it with women who are around 10 years younger.

Here’s something else to ponder: in 20% of these second marriages, the man is over 20 years younger than his spouse.

{A wife who is two decades younger?? Oh no! The “Femi-Nazis” get enraged when they hear this! They’ll say it’s bizarre! Perverted!

Ironically, no one seems to care if the guy is rich and famous. Then he is basically expected to hook up with a much younger spouse.

I mean, no one batted an eye when Donald Trump re-married and got hitched to some stunning young model. Years later, they still seem exceedingly content with each other.

How To Get Hot Younger Girlfriend

dating tips for men What about the Hollywood star Michael Douglas? (He’s married to Catherine Zeta-Jones, the insanely hot actress. ‘Nuff said.) I could go on and on. It’s a very long list. The fact is, it is EXPECTED for successful guys to marry babes who are many years younger than they are.

So why, exactly, do older guys have such a powerful desire to be with a younger spouse? It goes a lot deeper than just wanting a hot young babe. It’s because this is what men are biologically hard-wired to want: a youthful, hot, fertile stunner who will bear him healthy children.

Moreover, it’s not only about sex and procreation. According to research, it’s been demonstrated that a younger wife can quite literally extend a man’s life span. Her youth is literally contagious and will keep her husband active (and not just in the bedroom!)

When you come right down to it, the yearning to date younger women is a normal, healthy desire.

To start attracting younger women there is a tactic you need to start utilizing. It is a technique that I use all the time, and I’ve seduced striking younger women right out from under their bad-boy 22 year old lovers! Just promise me you won’t share this secret with too many guys. This trick, and many others, are found in our free seduction guide which you can download now at the Dating Younger Women website

Modern Courtship for Mature Men by Dimitri Vorontzov

Dimitri Vorontzov was born in Moscow and spent childhood and adolescence in Siberia. He was educated as a composer, church organist, and orchestra conductor, taught music in college, and learned to fly airplanes with Russian Air Force.

After Dimitri moved to US, he worked several years in a story department of a film production company, and taught advanced motorcycle riding. These days, Dimitri runs a multi-profile corporation and gives private instruction in courtship to selected students.

So what’s the best way to pick up and date a younger woman, when you’re a guy over the age of 40?

Off the top of my head, I’m tempted to dismiss the question. In a sense, it’s like asking, “what’s the best way to drive when you’re over 40?”

This is because I believe that fundamentally, dating younger women does not require a different set of skills once you’re of a certain age. I also believe that the skills of modern pickup and dating are so fundamentally simple that it only takes slightly more effort and practice to activate these skills than it takes to become, say, a grandmaster in the art of brushing one’s teeth.

I am certain that when we are dealing with something as basic as pickup, a man’s age presents a relatively irrelevant contributing factor.

I’m going to address the simplicity of pick-up and dating in a moment. But first, let’s discuss the notion of being an “older man.”

I am strongly against any self-categorizing. Being an “older man” is in most cases a self-assigned label—a useless attempt to define oneself by belonging to a certain group. It’s self-imposed imprisonment. When a man says, “I am this” (“I” = “this”), he negates his ability to change, and he kills his own ability to be spontaneous and grow.

I find this approach to be strategically harmful, as well as false. I know from experience that human beings can, and should, be fluid.

I also know it’s possible for me to describe the best dating tactics for all men over forty. But perhaps that’s not even necessary. What I prefer to do is speak to just one man.

The one who is reading these words now.

YOU.

I’m not interested in trying to save the entire generation of “older men.” Let’s leave them to their own means. They’ll take care of themselves. (Or they won’t; it’s up to them.) What we need to do is to create an exception.

I want you to become that exception.

Now I’m going to keep my promise and explain why I find pickup and dating so simple.

During my career as a “hitch,” acting as a wingman to guys in need of dating help, I’ve come to recognize a few simple, obligatory Tasks that a man has to accomplish in order to pick up a woman.

Each Task is accomplished via a corresponding simple and effective Action.

The Task/Action combo forms a Tactic. The sequence of Tactics is the Algorithm. Now, here’s the sample Algorithm for a typical daytime pick-up (Task/Action):

1) Choose a woman / Observe

2) Approach / Walk up to her

3) Engage / “Excuse me

4) Start the dialog / “I can see you’re reading about interior design. So besides that, what else are you into?”

5) Gather intel / “I’m hanging out here by myself; what about you?”

6) Expand the dialog / “Now you’ve made me curious. I want to find out more about you…”

7) Move locations / “Let’s get some coffee over there, and chat a bit more.”

8) Touch / Place your arm around her waist to direct her to the coffee shop (or if in a bookstore, the coffee area)

9) Express interest (“Your sense of humor turns me on”) / Get contact info (“So what’s the best way to get in touch with you?”)

10) Activate contact info / Call, send a text message, or email her within 30 minutes after you left, if possible.

If every Task is accomplished, a successful pickup has taken place.

Now obviously, every woman is unique; every situation is unique; and women in various situations will display a unique set of reactions.

But I hope you won’t deny that if you don’t request her contact info, you are not likely to see that woman again. That makes requesting her contact info an obligatory Task. And, of course, you have to approach a woman and engage her, if you want her to know that you exist. This makes Approach and Engage other obligatory Tasks…and so on.

(I admit there might be exceptions; for example, she might be a trainer at your gym and you see her regularly anyway; or, she is the one who approaches and engages you. Such situations make the pickup even simpler.)

It’s axiomatic that a man in his forties can say, “I’d like to find out more about you” and “What’s the best way to get in touch with you?” as easily as a man in his early twenties. For the older man, articulating these kinds of words does not present any greater challenge of such magnitude. Let’s have no argument about that. With some aspects of pickup, I believe there are no “advanced techniques.”

From my perspective, there are only two things to remember about body language. There are only four really important techniques for verbal improvisation (and only about a dozen of easy and fun secondary skills). There’s only so much to learn about grooming and style. There’s only one condition you want to be in physically: fit. Age has little to do with any of these things.

I could have also added that mature, experienced, accomplished men tend to have an aura that makes them “walking aphrodisiacs” in the eyes of a great many young, gorgeous women—but this is something you’ve probably figured out already.

But I don’t want to oversimplify the matter, or come across as unrealistically positive by just telling you, “you can do it!” There are indeed some challenges, which we must address.

Working regularly with students in their forties, fifties, and beyond, I’ve learned to recognize a few archetypal mindsets among men who wrongly define themselves by their belonging to a certain age group.

I want you to take a look at the archetypes below, and see if you recognize any of their traits in your own personality and attitude. If you notice anything familiar, I want you to seriously consider how these qualities have been holding you back in your pursuit of women and why it might be a good idea, and a perfect time, to shed this baggage. Click here for more tips.

The 5 Key Topics Women Love to talk about

This is not a complete list, but a very basic one so you can easily memorize it. Here are the top 5 topics you can use in any conversation with a woman to create a connection:

1. Travel/vacations

2. Food

3. Fashion/clothing

4. Movies, books, forms of drama

5. Celebrities, people in the news, current events

Talk about your job in an interesting way.

This is such an important detail that it requires its own heading. When you meet anyone for the first time you will inevitably talk about what you do for a living.

If you talk about what you do in a lame and boring way, you will immediately turn her off. Furthermore, how you talk about your job tells her a TON about you.

Let’s say you have a pretty standard job, like you’re an accountant or a computer programmer.

Both of these careers, on the surface, are not too thrilling to talk about. (Actually, there aren’t that many jobs/careers outside of being a rock star or professional athlete that women do find incredibly compelling and interesting.)

This means that rather than talk about the details of what you do (or even worse, how much you dislike what you do), you can come up with interesting and funny stories about weird people you work with, or unusual experiences you’ve had at your job.

For example, if you’re an accountant, the pressures of tax season are not interesting, but the story of your day trader client who lost a million bucks and fled to Mexicois interesting.

Or a story about how you saved a single mother with four kids a ton of money, and helped her out by doing her taxes for free. (That’s interesting, and demonstrates what a great guy you are.)

Or, maybe there’s some wild office gossip or something hilarious that happened at last year’s company Christmas party that you can share with her.

If your job is fairly interesting maybe you’re a police officer, a writer, or a musician it’s the stories and experiences that women will find fascinating, not the mundane details.

A writer like myself, for example, can talk about the pressures of deadlines and how I’ve been chained to my computer for days or, I can tell women about the most interesting celebrity I’ve ever interviewed, or the craziest night I ever had in New York City when I visited there on a book promotion tour.

You should have work-related stories that convey suspense, intensity, drama, and moments of humor. Invest the time to come up with stories about your job, practice telling then out loud, and then try them out on women.

And Most Importantly, Talk to A TON Of Younger Women…

I don’t need to tell you that finding amazing women is, to a certain extent, a numbers game. If you talk to enough women you will find some really hot and interesting ones, but you must go out and talk to a ton of them to find the special few you “click” with.

There are other reasons to have this wide variety of interactions and experiences. You need the practice, first of all. And more importantly, you can’t expect to just get lucky.

You will occasionally get shot down, or screw things up. It will take some time and practice to score that beautiful younger woman you’ve been picturing in your head, and as with any skill, the more you work on it the better, and more confident, you will become. Click here for more tips on how to date young chicks.