As a confident guy, you should be fitting women into your schedule, not the other way around.

Don’t be easy to pin down. This places you in a category of men she isn’t used to dealing with, and it reverses the traditional rules of courtship: normally, women are the ones who play “hard to get” and make it difficult for men to schedule plans with them.

As a successful, confident, you are the one who is occupied with other things, and you see women on your terms.

In today’s dating world, this sets you apart as a true maverick.

Most guys will hang on the phone for as long as she was wants to talk, even if it means listening to her complain about her sex life with her ex-boyfriend for an hour. Whenever she’s free, these guys will put everything else aside to talk to her, or spend time with her.

Women grow bored with this type of man. If he’s always available, it’s a sign that he has nothing else going on his life, and that no other women are interested in him. Women are intrigued by a man who is a hot commodity, not a guy who is free any time she is available.

So instead of immediately accepting her offer the next time she invites you to hang out, create I.O.U.’s. (This is a kick-ass Mack Tactics technique that I fully explain in the “Ultimate Edition” book, available at Mack Tactics.)

When a girl calls this type of guy to say “me and my friends are going to the bar tonight, do you want to meet up later?”, he won’t commit right away. Even if he has no plans this evening, he’ll project the image of a busy guy.

He’ll say “I have some people I need to see (or some business I need to handle), but maybe later I can make an appearance.” (I love that phrase, “make an appearance.” It makes you sound like a celebrity who will be gracing them with your presence.)

Then, he may choose to not show up at all. He’ll tell her the next day “Sorry, something came up.” (He won’t offer an explanation.) This only increases his allure and the sense that he is a “commodity.” The next time they do hang out, she’s going to make an extra effort to entice him. She knows he is in demand, and she won’t want to let him slip through her fingers.

Again, you are turning the tables. Normally, on a date, it’s the guy who is eagerly trying to impress the woman and “score points” with her. When a woman is on a date with you, she is the one trying to score points and capitalize on a limited window of opportunity.

A very important note before we move on: when you do meet up with a girl—whether it’s for a date, or you’re meeting her and her friends at a club—I’m not suggesting that you should act arrogant or aloof, like you’ve got somewhere more important to be. When you are not with her and she wants to see you, you’ve got to play a little bit “hard to get.”

But when you are with her, you must be completely focused on her. You’re totally attentive and “in the moment.” This makes her even MORE eager to see you again, because you make her feel special. But it’s always going to be on your terms, on your schedule.

Also, women tend to be flaky and be late to appointments, but you should always be punctual.

Your time is precious, and if she makes a habit of showing up late to meet you, you’ve got to call her on it. Most guys will act like it’s no big deal when she shows up at the restaurant 20 minutes late: “Oh, don’t worry about, it’s fine…”

Instead, you should call her on it: “Wow, this is the second time you’ve been late to meet me. What’s up with that?”

Say it with a smile—you don’t want to sound pissed—but make sure she gets the message: you’re not cool with people showing up 20 minutes late to an appointment with you. And you’re not going the typical spineless-nice guy route and excusing her behavior.

After she babbles her apology and explains her lateness, switch gears and move onto a fun topic. Just make sure that seed is planted in her mind: your time is valuable, and must be respected. By showing up late, she tested you — and you passed with flying colors.

Be A Leader

The older men I’ve observed, who have tremendous success with younger women, understand how to be a leader. When he goes out for a meal, he knows what he likes to eat, and he has a list of favorite restaurants around town.

He knows which movies are playing, and the one he wants to see. He has his favorite clubs and bars, and when he shows up, a bartender or a waitress will always welcome him by name.

And when he arranges a date with a woman, he doesn’t ask her opinion on where they should go. His plan is mapped out. She gets to come along for the ride.

Weak Move: “So what do you feel like doing tonight?”

Strong Move: “I’ll pick you up at eight, we’re going to have some fun. Wear something sexy.”

(This is an excellent Tactic. Tell her what to wear. You don’t need to be specific; just say “wear something sexy.” She’ll be thinking about you, and winning your approval, for the entire two hours it takes her to select her outfit and get ready.)

Women respect, and follow, a man who leads. As a man, this is part of your masculine duty. It is expected of you. When men defer to women and don’t want to make decisions, women grow irritated with them because they’re being forced to play the masculine role in the relationship, and this is not natural.

Look at all the pathetic married guys who constantly give in to their wives’ demands, and let them run the show. Do their wives appreciate it? Hell no! It makes them henpeck their husbands even worse. Because women, contrary to how they might act, don’t want to be the “boss” all the time. They’re wishing their man would show a backbone and behave like an Alpha Male.

 When it’s time to schedule a date, figure out in advance where you want to take her, so that you never appear unsure. Project an air of self-assuredness at all times. As long as you lead, and keep them interested in the “challenge,” women will follow…into your bedroom, and beyond.

Beautiful women particularly the younger ones, who are the object of every guy’s attention when they’re dressed to kill and out socializing often have deep insecurities that you wouldn’t suspect. If you’ve ever been “gamed” by a girl who was hot with you one day, and cold the next, you probably know what I mean.

An important aspect of dating younger women is knowing how to recognize the warning signs of an insecure girl who just isn’t ready to date a man of your caliber. This is when true confidence comes into play having enough of it to hit the “eject” button and bail out of a bad relationship, knowing that you’ve got the skills and confidence to find someone more deserving of you.

Let’s take a journey into the mind of a hot but deeply insecure younger woman to see what’s really going on, and how she games the men in her life.

The hot girl in question is a composite of three girls I’ve known, and we’ll call her Sarah. Every girl has a little bit of Sarah in them; this composite we’re drawing is simply the most extreme iteration of it. Here’s the backstory, taken from my experiences with the three girls.

Sarah is a smart girl – far more intelligent than she initially appears. She plays the role of the “ditzy little girl” with aplomb, and half of my friends still refuse to believe that her IQ could possibly break the triple-digit barrier. But when it comes to men, she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve seen her destroy several guys (myself included), and I watch her keeping a steady flow of prospects in the pipeline. The guys she dates are good looking and successful—and usually, they fall for her hard.

I believe that deep down, Sarah is a good person who wants to find a deeper happiness than her life today gives her, but as it stands, I’d hate for one of my friends to get caught up with a girl like her. And should you ever find yourself in a situation with a Sarah of your own, its only fair that you understand exactly what’s going on. Personally, I’ve dated two girls like her before, and I was in a wickedly hurtful relationship with one of them.

So let’s see if we can get into Sarah’s head…

The first thing you have to know about her existence is that it’s fairly shallow. Moment to moment, she seeks constant emotional and physical stimulation in the form of drugs, sex, cigarettes, text flirting with guys, etc. And unlike most of us, she’s able to get away with this because, well, she’s a hot girl inNew York Citywho knows how to play the game.

Sarah also likes to party. She’s out two to four nights a weeks, sometimes hitting multiple clubs at once, and she’s always at the best and hottest new club. Promoters love her because she rarely brings guys along, and has a great personality; fun, ditzy, playful, giggly – everything you want in a girl when you’re out at a club.

But when she meets a guy in whom she’s interested, her demeanor changes instantly. First, her voice softens up to something akin to a baby’s cooing and her eyes become doe-like. The innocence comes across as capitulation, and flips a big switch in a man – his desire to take care of a woman.

But she also knows how to turn on the sexy… with a narrowing of the eyes, a crossing of the legs, a little bite of the lip – and she’s attractive enough that few men are going to turn her down. I’ve watched her do it to random guys in clubs, as well as with a friend of mine, just to prove to me that she could.

Guys see her “transform” from fun, wild social girl, to fawning little bunny—and imagine her potential as a sexual mistress. This results in paralyzing crushes.

She goes after bankers and traders whenever possible. It is important for her ego that the men she’s dating have certain qualifications.

And as she starts dating a man, she’s full of push-pull. One morning she’s in his kitchen, wearing his oxford shirt and cooking breakfast for him. She tells him she’ll see him later that night, then flakes out and heads to a club with me, where we’ll dance the night away.

The guy starts texting her… “Baby, where are you?” The next morning, she meekly apologizes, shows up for sex, and pulls the guy deeper into thinking that if he tries just a *little* bit harder, she’ll change for him.

And this is the genius – mad or otherwise – in how she handles a man. She is incredibly compliant and giving when she’s with him, to the point he thinks he “has her.” She is very emotional and “falls in love” quickly; temporary as it may be, the guy starts to believe it too. Her emotions are like a hurricane: as soon as they comes, they can also be gone.

And a guy wants to believe that he’s going to be the one who tames her, that she’ll be his domestic Debbie. Then, once she’s felt that the guy has invested enough into her (and critically, ONLY then) she’ll disappear.

Here’s the funny part her routine works best on the guys with huge egos. The most successful, the best-looking, the ones who eat women for breakfast. She’s sexy enough that she can make them work hard to get her  fancy meals, tables and bottles, whatever she wants, really – and once they’ve invested enough and feel they’ve “won,” it becomes part of their ego that they’re dating the girl who everyone else wants but who no one can have. The moment she pulls away, that massive ego begins to lurch. I’ve watch guys cancel travel plans, leave work early, and go into debt trying to pull this girl back into their world.

Does this lead to good relationships? Absolutely not. It results in fights, guys showing up at her house (and mine) yelling in the street for her, and lots of bad feelings. But it works for her for two reasons.

First, all the drama is essentially emotional stimulation. Whether she’s feeling really good and excited about a guy, or whether he’s blowing up her phone with pleas and grievances, it is making her life interesting.

Secondly, while she is an intelligent girl, she has some *very* deep issues. Insecurities she’s not comfortable sharing with a guy with whom she’s romantically involved. She knows (instinctively) that if she truly opens herself up in that way, she’s putting herself in a position to be hurt. And she’s so insecure about who she really is that she’s just not going to let a guy who’s fucking her have that kind of power over her.

So what’s the lesson here for us guys?

Well, most importantly, do your homework and follow your instincts. A key concept in attraction is investment: the more you invest in something, the more of an emotional attachment you develop for it. And falling in love with Sarah is kind of like buying stock in a promising but volatile tech company if it’s a hot thing that is poised to take off and generate massive returns, you might get emotionally invested, and fail to get out when you should.

Every now and then the company puts out a press release with incredibly good news, but since you’ve never met the management team, you have no way of knowing if it’s accurate. And believe me, if a man is dealing with Sarah on a superficial or ego basis, he definitely hasn’t “met management.”

Perhaps you stated dating a younger woman and had people who knew her tell you to “watch out for her,” but you defended her and said “no, I know her in a way that other people don’t,” or something to that effect. Well, “management” is hidden away in the board room and letting the PR and customer service people do the talking, and you bought into the lines you’re being spoon-fed.

What else? Don’t let your ego get caught up in determining whether she’d be a good girl for you. It is not your job to be her Dad, brother or burly protector. Sarah has people in her life who are looking out for her, and just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean its your responsibility to save her. Yes, if she sees your interest waning, she’ll work hard to get it back. But if you’re getting any signs that your girl is half-heartedly committed, that her insecurities and/or abilities with men are driving her to seek constant stimulation, then you just have to keep your eyes open. One day, when she’s had enough partying, she’ll find a solid man and latch on tight, and there will be no doubt in his mind (or hers) that she’s in it to win it. But until then, if there’s smoke, there’s probably fire.

The things that drive Sarah are present in everyone’s head. When you’re looking for a girlfriend, its important to be able to see her for who she really is. I’ve been in relationships with girls who I thought were loving, honest people. Then something goes wrong, and all of a sudden I’m seeing parts of Sarah come out. The girl is pushing me, pulling me, and I’m telling myself “wait, this isn’t who she is! She’s the girl I was dating a few months ago… I just need to bring that back out of her.” Problem is, because her perception of me and the role that I play in her life has changed, so has she.

Lessons learned. And hey – if you know yourself and who you are, you know what you’ll accept, what you won’t, and you’ll be able to give yourself fully when the right girl comes along. Click here for more tips.

Why is it that sometimes we can light up a room, while other times members of the opposite sex turn away from us in disinterest?

Could the answer to all of our “consistency issues” be right under our noses?

I’ll tell you the answer, but I’ll have to explain myself first for it to sink in. The difference between really connecting with people and not – the thing that every “natural seducer” is always doing in spades, without even thinking about it – comes down to simply speaking the universal language.

Cliché tells us that love is the universal language; however, this is only partially true and isn’t helpful for people looking for the translation – the Rosetta Stone – so to speak.

I actually have to thank an old smoking habit for helping me stumble upon it. Back in college, I had the pesky habit of bumming cigarettes. In fact, I did it so much that I got really good at it. I even developed my own little method.

Despite having the best method in the world, it became clear that whether or not I got a cigarette really depended on one thing:

You can try it yourself and get front row seats to the effects. First, go up to 10 people, ask them for a cigarette, and avoid eye contact and look indifferent. Next, go up to another 10 people, ask them for a cigarette – only this time look them directly in the eye and act as though you are in intense pain and that they hold the key to your freedom.

Everyone reading this who’s ever been a smoker is with me on this.

When I look into the eyes of a smoker with a look on my face that he or she can fully relate to – that I really need a cigarette – they feel that same pain as they are reminded of their own times of distress. When they feel that pain and can’t help but want to relieve it in another.

Ages before complex systems of naming and describing objects came into human existence, humans beings were communicating. Although the vast majority of us have a firm grasp over at least one of these systems, all of the communication that matters the most happens in the same way as it has for our entire existence of our humanity.

A quick look at an on-line thesaurus gives us over 30 words for “angry,” but if a 300lb man has the look on his face that says he’s pissed, everyone who gets even the quickest look at him is getting out of his way.

We need language to hammer out the fine details of a business contract—but how many people would actually do business with someone they didn’t trust, who didn’t give them the feeling that they had ulterior motives?

With that in mind, here’s how you always get your openers to “stick:”

The phrase, “you can tell a lot about a man by his handshake” has been around for awhile. More recently though, this has been taken to mean that one should attempt to squeeze another person’s hand as firmly as possible, to show how “confident” they are.

When you greet someone, you can tell a lot about them by their handshake, or more specifically, how they greet you in general. The “firmness” of the greeting, however, isn’t how you can tell (even though a firm handshake will often happen as a byproduct).

You can tell this by looking right at the person to see if his eyes are meeting yours and if he has a look of warmth on his face. If you approach a woman, and they look at you and your eyes aren’t meeting hers (theirs) and you don’t have a look of warmth on your face, she will get the same feeling you get when you’re working with a person that you just don’t feel right about, you just don’t trust, and you ultimately decide not to work with.

Let me make two things clear:

If you’re thinking about your “opener” when you approach a woman, or maybe just feeling shy, you will not be looking into her eyes, you will not have a warm expression on your face, and she’ll get that feeling that no human likes to feel.

If you start thinking about what to say during a conversation, or question whether or not she likes you, your eyes will drift, your face will become expressionless, and she will definitely get that feeling.

Plus there’s one more important factor to consider:

Women are much better at feeling this stuff than guys, and herein lies the apparent solution, and also the new problem.

On the one hand – success in communication, in being charismatic or a “natural,” lies in your ability to express emotion vividly on your face, and in turn make others feel that emotion. Without that, we’re merely self-aware computers exchanging information. And the last thing a woman wants when she goes out is to exchange information. She wants to feel.

On the other hand, it’s never quite that simple.

Human beings, especially women, have a keen intuition for when someone has their own self-interests in mind, rather than hers. It’s the same as when you just know that a bad salesman has his commission in mind as he’s talking to you.