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When my instructors and I train men at our seminars, much of what we do is designed to remove the limiting beliefs guys have.
We’ve heard it all.
Girls only go for good-looking guys…you need to be rich…you need to be taller than her…you’ve got to have a cool car…Asian guys can’t be good with pickup…the list is endless. One of the most common (and untrue) is, “I’m too old for younger women.”
The problem with limiting beliefs is that they are EXTREMELY de-motivating, to the point where you don’t want to even try. And you tend to create your own reality.
When guys think “all the women in nightclubs are shallow,” I can pretty much guarantee they’re only going to meet shallow women when they go to clubs. One night, I was at a club with a guy who had this limiting belief, and he was shocked when I met one of the most down-to-earth, genuine, and beautiful women I’d ever come across. She had even made her dress by hand, in-between volunteering at the local animal shelter. True story!
Anyway, I want to make the point that good game overcomes any boundary, and we can shatter your limiting beliefs in minutes when you see what good game can actually do.
At the very minimum, you need to be OPEN to the idea that you’ve had it wrong up until this point— that you actually could be dating young, hot and amazing women right now, if you just knew how.
Be open to the possibility that it is actually possible. Imagine you are a white canvas, with no paint on it yet.
So in this article, I want to share with you some of my own methods for becoming better at approaching, talking to and dating younger women.
Let’s get to it…
The Mindset
The first and most important mindset is that women like older men.
Over the past 200-plus years, theUnited Statesgovernment has been taking statistics for the age of couples getting married. Every year, there is a slightly wider gap between the ages of women and men who marry each other. That’s right; women have always gone for older men.
There are evolutionary reasons for this.
Women are programmed to seek security and safety, which provide the best means to raise a child, and it’s a safe bet that an older man will have increased world knowledge, and other important assets including personal skills and greater life experience.
Society seems to force the view that it’s older men who are chasing younger women, and that may be true to some extent, in more cases it’s the women who are looking to date older men.
The second part of the proper mindset is knowing that if you dedicate yourself to pickup and really get into it, within two years you will be having more fun with women, and enjoying more sex than most guys get in their entire lifetime. The average guy only has sex with 4-7 women in his entire lifetime, although that’s certainly not the story that the media seems to push onto guys.
That means you can be a virgin at 50, and as long as you’re able to fight through your internal barriers, change your beliefs and ideas, and take action, within a few years (or even months) you can have a lifetime worth of fun.
The key idea is to get started straight away, and lose the EXCUSES.
Treat the next few months as practice, and tell yourself that it will be a fun learning experience. Don’t ever think that it’s “too late,” or that you’ve struggled with women for too long for you to make a dramatic change.
If you have the mindset that you still have plenty of time left—and the truth is, you do—you are likely to take action and feel less guilty and filled with regret (big energy killers). You’ll be more relaxed, and you’re more likely to stay motivated. On the other hand, if you feel anxious and urgent because you “need to make up for lost time,” women are going to smell that desperation like cheap cologne.
Some Real Techniques:
1. Convey Youth
How you convey your age is more important than the number of years you’ve been on this planet.
By this, I mean be happy, have a youthful smile, and enjoy life.
And certainly look at your jeans. (Yes, I’m serious!)
In fact, go and look at some new jeans this week. I always see older guys wearing totally unfashionable jeans, and it’s one of the most obvious indicators that they have an old, out-of-touch mentality.
Also take a cold, hard look at your hairstyle and wardrobe, and look to update them a bit.
If you are happy, carefree, and loving life—and your wardrobe and personal style convey a youthful, fashionable edge—this is bound to make younger women notice.
2. Be Fun
I often coach older guys who are a bit too serious.
Picture four young women out on Friday night, having a good time, relaxing after a big week at work. They just want to kick back and have fun with a few drinks. If a guy starts talking with them about serious topics that lower their energy level, it’s just not going to fly.
Women generally like older guys because they provide much more interesting conversation, and because they’re not predictable and one-dimensional like younger guys often are. The typical 25-year-old woman is more emotionally mature than the guys her age, and for this reason, she often finds herself more intrigued by older men.
But there is a time and a place for being serious. Imagine what it feels like when you go from working hard at your job for months on end, and then taking a holiday and kicking back on a beach. This is the laidback, carefree type of energy you want to bring to your interactions with younger women.
If you are having trouble lightening up and chilling out when you get involved in conversations with women, take a closer look at your reality and your lifestyle. If your reality and lifestyle are completely filled with work and seriousness, then it can be pretty difficult to instantly switch into “fun” mode when you’re out meeting women.
“Serious” guys tend to watch serious movies and television shows (including a lot of TV news and politics, which can be quite depressing), and listen to music that isn’t in tune with the tastes of the younger generation. I suggest you switch up the types of shows, movies and music that you normally feel comfortable with. Try some TV shows like “Scrubs,” “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” and “The Office,” which aren’t particularly deep or meaningful but are laugh-out-loud funny. Buy some magazines that are playful and fun. Listen to some music that is new and maybe a little trashy.
This also gives you fun conversational topics to talk to women about. That hot 25-year-old babe at the bar might know a surprising amount about politics, but that doesn’t mean she wants to talk about it when she’s unwinding with a few drinks. Save the deeper discussions for once you’re dating her. Her first impression of you should be fun, playful and youthful.
Some guys need to make a concerted effort to add some light stuff into their reality, so that being playful and relaxed around women isn’t such a challenge. When you talk to your friends, make an effort to not dwell on the serious stuff, and get in the habit of just being able to talk about stuff that is not that important and does not matter in the big picture of things.
3. Go Out
As guys get older, their social circles tend to shrink. Your friends get married, have kids, and are immersed in their own lives. Or maybe you’ve moved recently and haven’t developed much of a social scene in yournew city. Perhaps you just don’t go out much anymore, because you feel a little too “old” to be hanging around at the bars and clubs like you used to. This may seem obvious, but you must get out of the house and make an effort to socialize. Maybe combine your socializing with an interest or hobby. Personal development groups always seem to be filled with attractive women.
If you’ve always been shy, then it’s time to shake that off and become more social. Make it one of your goals to make at least two people feel good about themselves, every week. This will lead to a multitude of friends, and people liking you.
Break any patterns of judging people, or staying in your shell, and make an effort to say hello and make friendships. You’d be surprised how easy it is to do once you get started.
