As a kid, Lance says he was the “prototypical skinny, Dungeons & Dragons playing nerd—totally unpopular in high school.” He then discovered sports and dedicated himself to athletics and fitness. In college, he joined the rowing team and competed successfully at the collegiate and national level. Realizing that he had a talent for leading and communicating with people, Lance then became a crew coach.
He also decided to use these skills to branch out into coaching men in a different area: achieving confidence and success with women. He is the co-author of www.honeyandlance.com, a popular blog about dating, relationships, sex and life.
Lance decided to get serious about improving his own skills with women after reading “The Game,” the best-selling book by Neil Strauss. It prompted him to immerse himself in learning the art of “pickup” and becoming what he calls a “social artist.”
This launched him on a journey of discovery about women, dating, attraction, and the nature of being a true man in today’s world. His goal is to live a life of passion and adventure, and have deep and meaningful relationships with all those around him.
* * * * *
If you’re a guy over the age of 40, the key to getting dates with younger women is cultivating the right lifestyle. This principle applies to dating in general, but it’s especially important if you’re going after girls 10 or more years younger than yourself.
Let’s look at an example of a 40+ guy. Bill is 45, six feet tall, with average looks a little flabby but not obese. He’s got a full head of hair, though it’s graying and thinning a bit. He’s a working professional, makes a good living, owns his own house, and drives a nice car.
Bill is recently divorced and looking to meet a highly attractive, intelligent woman in her mid 20s to early 30s.
He’s not against the idea of dating women his age, but he’s strongly attracted to the younger hotties out there.
I respect where he’s coming from; I would be doing the exact same thing. I’m 33 and I actively seek out and date girls in the 21 to 26 age range, because that’s what I’m most attracted to so why settle for anything less?
A guy like Bill will typically convince himself that his age places him outside of the “ideal” search range of most younger hotties. He may believe that being divorced makes him “damaged goods” in the eyes of most never-married women. And he’s usually going to be self-conscious about his average looks and physique.
What Bill needs to realize, however, is that he has powerful assets working in his favor. He’s a successful professional (perhaps even an expert in his field), and this is huge. This is going to help him tremendously, because it indicates that he’s a man of means; he has money, security, intelligence, and it would be easy to assume that he’s ambitious and confident. These are all qualities that attractive younger women are looking for.
What else are younger women looking for? If she has reached her 30s and has never been married, she’s probably looking to settle down with the right guy and have kids. If she’s divorced with no kids, she may be looking to settle down again, or she may be looking to have some fun and play the field. These types of women are usually open to dating an older guy.
Or, if she’s single and has kids, she may be open to a casual sexual relationship because she doesn’t have a lot of time for a serious relationship, and would rather not introduce a new “boyfriend” to her kids at this time.
My point is that there are a variety of categories when you’re talking about younger women, and a multitude of reasons why they may be looking to date, or just have fun with, an older guy.
Lifestyle
Now, back to my original premise: having the right lifestyle will attract younger women. Lifestyle encompasses a bunch of stuff, so let’s break it down:
Fitness and looks.
Having average looks doesn’t help, but it doesn’t hurt you either. Women are funny in that they’ll be immediately attracted to a hot guy, but they’ll be more deeply attracted to man with high social value. A lot of girls will even say they don’t care about looks they care more about intelligence, personality, and confidence.
If you’re a mature, independent professional, you’ve got a huge head start! Stack the deck even further by improving your fitness and looks. If you’re out of shape and carrying an extra 20-30 pounds (or more), get a gym membership and work out daily. Don’t just do it because you want to get chicks do it because you’ll feel and look better, and because you’ll be healthier and live a longer life. In my opinion, there is zero excuse for not being fit, no matter your age.
Even if you’re lugging the spare tire but making an effort to get toned, people will take notice. Co-workers will ask, “have you lost weight?” and chicks will dig on you more. It’s an amazing feeling and it will encourage you to keep hitting the gym.
Go even further and play sports. Did you play soccer or basketball back in high school or college? How about running or cycling? Get back into it, train for an event, and enjoy the fitness benefits. Consider picking up a “cool” new sport like snowboarding or surfing. Make sure to get some sun. A tan goes a long way towards improving your disposition.
A 45-year old guy who’s fit and tanned suddenly looks like he’s 35. He’s also the handsome, sexy gentleman, as opposed to the middle-aged fatso.
Get a cool haircut.
This falls under the looks category, but it’s so important that I want to break it out as a separate item. DO NOT go through life with a lame, “older guy” haircut. The last thing you want is to look like a sad sack insurance salesman. If you have a full head of hair, grow it out a bit, go to an upscale stylist, and tell them you want a cool cut. Let them go to town.
One great tip is to find a gay male stylist, because they give the best cuts. I always advise to keep your hair its natural color (i.e. graying) because chicks think it’s dignified and sexy, and often times a dye job looks unnatural and is an obvious attempt to conceal your true age.
Are you balding or almost bald? If so, consider going clean-shaven if you have the right skull and body shape. Generally this looks great on leaner guys, but it can certainly work with the bigger guys if you have the right skull shape. You might try rocking the Mr. Clean look with a well-groomed goatee.
If you’re not sure what a cool cut for a 45-year old guy looks like, watch practically any television show and note the popular actors in your age range to get some idea. There are actors who have very little hair, but they style and groom themselves immaculately. Click here for more surefire tips on how to date young women.
