As a kid, Lance says he was the “prototypical skinny, Dungeons & Dragons playing nerd—totally unpopular in high school.” He then discovered sports and dedicated himself to athletics and fitness. In college, he joined the rowing team and competed successfully at the collegiate and national level. Realizing that he had a talent for leading and communicating with people, Lance then became a crew coach.
He also decided to use these skills to branch out into coaching men in a different area: achieving confidence and success with women. He is the co-author of www.honeyandlance.com, a popular blog about dating, relationships, sex and life.
Lance decided to get serious about improving his own skills with women after reading “The Game,” the best-selling book by Neil Strauss. It prompted him to immerse himself in learning the art of “pickup” and becoming what he calls a “social artist.”
This launched him on a journey of discovery about women, dating, attraction, and the nature of being a true man in today’s world. His goal is to live a life of passion and adventure, and have deep and meaningful relationships with all those around him.
Click here for the Part 1.
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Elevate Your Style. Just like having a cool haircut, you want to dress well and wear stylish, fitted clothes. If you’re a kick-ass professional dude, wear killer suits, take pictures of yourself in your good threads, and put them online.
Every guy should have a look, part of which is based on your body shape and facial structure, but also based on your attitude.
If you’re a VP of a company, wear the nice suits, but also get laid-back clothes like quality jeans, t-shirts, and button downs.
If you’re able to invest some money in your appearance and this is one investment that always pays big dividends don’t be afraid to completely update your wardrobe.
You’re going after younger hotties, so you have to play the game at their level.
Just make sure your style and look need to be congruent with your personality and your body shape. (If you’re a pudgy executive, it’s not going to work if you dress like a rock star.)If you try a look that doesn’t fit with your real personality, you’ll be sniffed out immediately as a fake.
If you’re doing the online dating thing, a great strategy is to put pictures of yourself in those killer suits, next to the ones of you hiking or kayaking inColorado, next to the ones of you out for drinks with your friends and having fun. You’re painting a picture of a complete lifestyle and showing yourself as a fully realized, fun and successful guy. This will give you an edge on the competition.
Travel & Adventure. Older men generally have the means to travel at least once in a while, and travel means worldliness and adventure. This is very attractive, and it’s one of the top things younger women are looking for. If you haven’t done any traveling at your age, you’re way behind the curve and you need to start taking trips immediately.
Explore theUS, go to Vegas, go to NYC. Check out some of the amazing parks. Explore. Then plan some trips overseas Europe, the Caribbean andSoutheast Asia.
Take tons of pictures and put them online. You want to project yourself as an adventurer, a man of the world, a guy who is cultured and experienced. Not only is this good for your soul, but it gives you tons of stuff to talk about on dates.
That young hottie you meet on a date has likely been toLondonandFrance, or maybe spent a summer backpacking around some foreign circuit, and you’re going to get major points for connecting with her on that level. A well-traveled man is attractive to women.
Passions and Hobbies. Besides work, what else do you have going for you? What are you really passionate about? Women want to know. It could be cars, motorcycles, surfing, writing, triathlons, diving, camping, traveling whatever. Have passions and live those passions. Passionate men are exceptionally attractive, and women will always ask about what you do on the weekends. I always emphasize the personal projects I work on after hours, because those define me better than my day job.
Music. Music is a smaller detail, but it’s something that can connect you wonderfully with younger women. If she’s a decade younger than you, she’s going to listen to different music. Are you familiar with Chevelle, Coldplay, Incubus, Jay Z, Blink 182, John Mayer, Beastie Boys, Tupac, Tool, or Jack Johnson?
If not, spend some time listening to the popular artists of the moment and become familiar with them. Even if you hate Tool, watch some of their videos on Youtube and form an opinion. Then find some tunes you do like and get into it. (You might be surprised by how much you like some of the new stuff.)
Music comes up all the time in conversation with women, and on dates, and it will be challenging for her to relate to you if the only bands you talk about are Led Zeppelin, Dylan, and the Stones.
Good musical taste marks you as a cool guy who’s “with it.” If you’re with it, the younger girls will begin to see you as a prospect. Combine this with your fitness, cool haircut, and killer threads, and you’ve got a winning combination.
Important tip #1: It’s extremely important to establish common ground with a younger woman. One of the big mistakes older guys make is that they don’t take the time to connect with her on her level. A 27-year-old woman is having a different life experience than a 45-year-old guy, but if she’s reasonably intelligent and sophisticated, there will always be subjects you can discuss with equal enthusiasm.
It’s up to you to find, and embrace, the commonalities. Some of the ways are through passions, hobbies, travel stories, and music. Once you’ve established common ground, your age becomes irrelevant because you’re relating to each other.
Important tip #2: Even if you’re 45, you don’t have to act like a middle-aged man, or fulfill any of those stereotypes. Much of being successful with younger women is your attitude. You want to be youthful and project youthful qualities: enthusiasm, fun, passion, excitement about what’s on your horizon.
At the same time, you want to emphasize all the good qualities that an older guy possesses such as maturity, high emotional intelligence, worldliness, and an overall sense of security and stability.
When it comes to upgrading your lifestyle, it’s an ongoing process. You’re not going to achieve it by next week. If you’re significantly overweight, it’s going to take a year or more of gym work to really get fit. Same thing if you’ve never traveled. This is a journey, so be patient and have fun.
Now that we’ve covered lifestyle, how do you actually meet the younger babes? I’m going to suggest a two-pronged attack. Click here for more tips on how to date young girls.
