Do you lie about your age, or tell the truth?
It’s best to tell the truth, but in my opinion, you don’t have to tell her your age straight away.
Women may want all the information on you immediately, but you don’t have a responsibility to tell her everything upfront and in the first few minutes, or even hours. Use intrigue, and reveal things about yourself over time. If every time she hangs out with you, you reveal some new talent or hobby of yours, she’ll be endlessly curious and interested in knowing more about you. This is much more effective than reeling off your list of accomplishments and interests in the first thirty minutes you spend talking to her.
Women will often use standard job interview-type questions when they first meet a man—such as your age, your job, where you live, etc. It’s better to bypass this “Q&A” and engage women on a fun, more creative level. Stimulate that side of her, and don’t cater to her analytical and probing side—where she’s asking the questions, you’re trying to come up with the “right” answers, and she’s running it all through her mental computer and figuring out whether you’re the type of guy she should be interested in.
What do you do with her friends?
One problem you may face when dating younger women is that she may be less likely to introduce you to her friends and family. Some guys can get offended by this, and see this as a sign that the woman is putting limits on how serious she considers the relationship to be. The best approach is to focus on shaping and living in the “now” and enjoying the time you spend with her.
Older guys sometimes fall into the trap of thinking ahead too much, and getting too serious with any young woman that show them attention. It may take a while for a woman to picture herself in a long-term relationship with you, and if you try and force it too early, it can backfire. (When you put pressure on her to make a commitment, it always conveys a sense of urgency and desperation on your part—very unattractive qualities.) Many times, I’ve seen younger women think that a long-term relationship with an older guy just isn’t in the cards. But the more time they spend with the guy, the more their feelings change.
What about online dating?
I think that when you’re dealing with an age gap, meeting women face-to-face is especially important because you can have a chance to have fun with her before she screens you based on age. But online dating is a good way to increase your exposure to women, and it can be a key part of a lifestyle that involves constantly interacting with new people. I recommend you incorporate online dating into your lifestyle.
You’re likely to get “hung up” on one particular woman, and put all your eggs in that basket, when she’s the only option on your radar. If you’re meeting women on your social scene, and regularly emailing and chatting with new women online, you’ll never feel that you NEED to make it happen with a certain girl. You’ve got a Plan B, a Plan C, and so on.
What are some more specifics on approaching and dating younger women?
One of the best naturals I ever met was 40 years old. He was the guy who would pick up a girl EVERY time we would go out, and often within minutes. He would roll into a club and he’d be kissing women before I got my first drink. Sometimes these were hot college girls, and he had bad teeth and was small, short and pretty skinny. But my God, he was dominant! He was cocky, bordering on arrogant. He could be pushy. He’d touch women long before most guys would think it was appropriate to do so. But it worked!
On the other hand, most older guys are limited by terrible imaginary rules about pickup and dating—like making physical contact with a woman you just met is wrong, or you shouldn’t approach groups of younger women because they’ll only shut you out. Believe me, the list is endless for what I call “creative avoidance”—the silly justifications that men come up with, for not going after what they want.
Follow the standard rules of pickup. According to my method, these rules include:
- Approach first, think later
- Start touching straight away (not in a creepy way—find creative, subtle ways to establish body contact. This can be as simple as high-fiving her after you agree on something funny.)
- Look to move her to a different location pretty quickly (this could be another area of the bar)
- Escalate: physically, logistically, and by going for the “pull” or the phone number. (But save the heavy physical escalation for when you’re one-on-one with her.)
- Never be the typical “nice guy”; don’t act needy or timid
- Enjoy women. Don’t treat them as objects, have fun with them.
I want to reinforce the idea that pickup is easy.
Younger women are not that hard to meet and date. In fact, that young hottie you’ve got your eye on is eager to meet an older guy who brings value to their life, makes her feel safe and protected, and takes her mind off the stresses and problems of her reality. Why shouldn’t that guy be you?
