Tag: how to date young women

For guys who are easing back into the game after ending a long-term relationship, I recommend online dating as a great starting point. Try setting up an account on match.com, yahoo personals, and craigslist (free). If you’re just trying to get laid, you might try adultfriender.com.

Remember what I said earlier about having pictures of you in a wide variety of contexts? Now is the time to use them. Write an interesting profile and upload those awesome pictures.

(Be sure to proofread your profile carefully before you activate it; if you’re not the greatest with spelling and grammar, have it looked over by a friend who has some writing ability. First impressions are huge, and no one is impressed by a profile that’s riddled with grammatical errors.)

Email all of the attractive women in your search range and see where it takes you. Don’t be surprised if you only get a few replies, or none at all, at first. You need to keep hacking away at it. The reality of online dating is that there are 2-3 times as many guys online as women, and the gals are wading through dozens, sometimes hundreds, of emails. It’s similar to regular dating, to be quite honest.

I also highly recommend that you get out of the house and go to bars and clubs, even if you haven’t been in years, or you dislike those venues. Women in your target range frequent these places, and that means you need to go where they are.

If you aren’t comfortable talking to a woman in a bar, why would she want to go on a date with you? She’s in the bar. You should be there, too. Go talk to her.

To make it easier, I recommend going with friends to the higher-end bars. You know the upscale Irish bar that every sizeable town has? Or the wine bar? Or the martini bar? Go to those places.

Yes, you can go to the crazy, booty shaking clubs also, but start with the venues that are closer to your vibe. I also recommend going on a night when it’s crowded and people are standing everywhere, since this makes it easier to spark up conversations with strangers.

Here’s another tip: go with married friends or couples. Having women in your group, regardless of whether they’re with their boyfriends or husbands, gives you “social proof” in the environment.(Essentially, any woman in your group is “vouching” for you as a cool person, in the eyes of all the other women in the room.)

You can even use your buddy’s girlfriend or wife as your “wing-women.” It can be a lot of fun. Or, have your platonic female friends introduce you to attractive women. (Women love to play “match maker” for a friend.)

Remember, this is a process that begins today, but will take some time and trial and error to perfect. There is no magic bullet to bag a younger gal.

You’re going to get blown off by some, but you’ll also have some fun, encouraging interactions and if keep at it, you’ll start getting phone numbers and lining up dates. Maintain a healthy perspective about the process: have fun first and foremost, and try to get dates second.

Good luck and here’s to you scoring a younger babe, the type your buddies wish they could have a shot at! Click here for tips on how to date young chicks.

Click here for Part 1…

There is a proper time and place for talking to her about changing jobs, and providing her with thoughtful, constructive advice. She’ll need these things from you, too, and she’ll want this advice and guidance if you’re an older guy who is wiser about the ways of the world.

But never sound like you’re dismissing her problems as insignificant, and don’t attempt to give advice when she’s in a highly emotional state. Just provide comfort. Soothe her. Let her calm down on her own. Accept these moments as par for the course, especially when you’re dating a younger woman.

I do need to mention, if you find yourself involved with a “drama queen” who is having these outbursts on a daily basis, I suggest you kick her to the curb. Occasional mood swings are to be expected.

As men, it’s impossible for us to fully understand the emotional swings of women—especially the younger ones. You can’t rationalize them. What you can do is learn to master these situations and be the “rock” she needs.

Imagine her emotions as turbulent waves. You are the shoreline which those waves crash against…and as long as you stand firm, the waves will always subside eventually.

Whether you’ve been dating her for two weeks, or you’ve been married to her for five years, she’ll always have a subconscious need to test you from time to time. Her moments of “drama” are all about seeking reassurance that you are the rock she needs to feel safe and secure.

Women also seek reassurance through jealousy. I’ve dated some incredibly jealous women (and eventually broke up with them due to it). But along the way, I came to understand how to deal with it.

They’ll test you this way, and they’ll be sneaky. They’ll ask an innocent-sounding question that is actually an accusation, intended to make you reveal more information than you should.

Never fight fire with fire. Never try to explain yourself out of a silly accusation. And never dismiss her jealous feelings as if they’re petty and ridiculous. (Which they usually are, but that type of response from you only adds fuel to the fire.

Just maintain your cool and deflect it—as if cheating on her, or flirting with another woman, never even OCCURRED to you.

Here is an example of an actual conversation I had with a 21-year-old former girlfriend of mine. I had gone out to a bar with some buddies of mine the night before. (Whenever I date a woman, I make it clear to her up-front that I enjoy having a “guy’s night out” sometimes, and this is not something I’m willing to give up for the sake of a relationship.)

Most girls I’ve dated have absolutely no problem with me going out with the boys. They don’t bust my balls about it, and I don’t give them a hard time if they ever want to spend time with their girlfriends. But this particular girlfriend, after a few months of dating, was starting to have issues if I went out without her—and now she was going to “test” me.

Women are notorious for this. They’ll ask you something that sounds harmless, but it’s actually a “baiting question” designed to make you reveal more information than she should—which will then give her the go-ahead to drag you into an argument.

First, I’ll show you the wrong way to handle it:

HER: So, did you have fun with your friends at the bar last night?

ME:  Yeah, it was okay.

HER: I’m sure there were a lot of beautiful girls there. Did you talk to any?

ME: (sarcastic) Yeah, I was hitting on girls all night and I got a bunch of phone numbers. No, I didn’t talk to any girls. And if I did, so what? What’s wrong with having a friendly conversation with someone at a bar?

HER: Look, I know how men are. If you ever cheat on me, just tell me, okay? I just want you to be honest.

ME: I’m not cheating on you! Why are you so damn insecure?

(And the argument escalates…) 

Now, here’s the proper way to handle it: be completely calm and don’t take the bait.

HER: So how was last night? Did you talk to any girls?

ME: I was busy talking to my friend John. He needed my advice on some business stuff. So what did you end up doing last night?

(Change the subject…as if talking to other girls last night at the bar never even occurred to you.)

The bottom line is that women, in general, are needy. They crave reassurance. I don’t care if you’re dating a 40-year-old CEO or a 22-year-old stripper; the underlying programming is the same. They are jealous. They will get emotional (and at times, completely illogical), and they’ll test you to get confirmation that you’re the MAN they need not a weak, emotional, overly sensitive wimp who makes her question the relationship and your ability to make her feel secure.

 

 

As a kid, Lance says he was the “prototypical skinny, Dungeons & Dragons playing nerd—totally unpopular in high school.” He then discovered sports and dedicated himself to athletics and fitness. In college, he joined the rowing team and competed successfully at the collegiate and national level. Realizing that he had a talent for leading and communicating with people, Lance then became a crew coach.

He also decided to use these skills to branch out into coaching men in a different area: achieving confidence and success with women. He is the co-author of  www.honeyandlance.com, a popular blog about dating, relationships, sex and life.

Lance decided to get serious about improving his own skills with women after reading “The Game,” the best-selling book by Neil Strauss. It prompted him to immerse himself in learning the art of “pickup” and becoming what he calls a “social artist.”

This launched him on a journey of discovery about women, dating, attraction, and the nature of being a true man in today’s world. His goal is to live a life of passion and adventure, and have deep and meaningful relationships with all those around him.

Click here for the Part 1.

* * * * *

Elevate Your Style. Just like having a cool haircut, you want to dress well and wear stylish, fitted clothes. If you’re a kick-ass professional dude, wear killer suits, take pictures of yourself in your good threads, and put them online.

Every guy should have a look, part of which is based on your body shape and facial structure, but also based on your attitude.

If you’re a VP of a company, wear the nice suits, but also get laid-back clothes like quality jeans, t-shirts, and button downs.

If you’re able to invest some money in your appearance and this is one investment that always pays big dividends don’t be afraid to completely update your wardrobe.

You’re going after younger hotties, so you have to play the game at their level.

Just make sure your style and look need to be congruent with your personality and your body shape. (If you’re a pudgy executive, it’s not going to work if you dress like a rock star.)If you try a look that doesn’t fit with your real personality, you’ll be sniffed out immediately as a fake.

If you’re doing the online dating thing, a great strategy is to put pictures of yourself in those killer suits, next to the ones of you hiking or kayaking inColorado, next to the ones of you out for drinks with your friends and having fun. You’re painting a picture of a complete lifestyle and showing yourself as a fully realized, fun and successful guy. This will give you an edge on the competition.

Travel & Adventure. Older men generally have the means to travel at least once in a while, and travel means worldliness and adventure. This is very attractive, and it’s one of the top things younger women are looking for. If you haven’t done any traveling at your age, you’re way behind the curve and you need to start taking trips immediately.

Explore theUS, go to Vegas, go to NYC. Check out some of the amazing parks. Explore. Then plan some trips overseas Europe, the Caribbean andSoutheast Asia.

Take tons of pictures and put them online. You want to project yourself as an adventurer, a man of the world, a guy who is cultured and experienced. Not only is this good for your soul, but it gives you tons of stuff to talk about on dates.

That young hottie you meet on a date has likely been toLondonandFrance, or maybe spent a summer backpacking around some foreign circuit, and you’re going to get major points for connecting with her on that level. A well-traveled man is attractive to women.

Passions and Hobbies. Besides work, what else do you have going for you? What are you really passionate about? Women want to know. It could be cars, motorcycles, surfing, writing, triathlons, diving, camping, traveling whatever. Have passions and live those passions. Passionate men are exceptionally attractive, and women will always ask about what you do on the weekends. I always emphasize the personal projects I work on after hours, because those define me better than my day job.

Music. Music is a smaller detail, but it’s something that can connect you wonderfully with younger women. If she’s a decade younger than you, she’s going to listen to different music. Are you familiar with Chevelle, Coldplay, Incubus, Jay Z, Blink 182, John Mayer, Beastie Boys, Tupac, Tool, or Jack Johnson?

If not, spend some time listening to the popular artists of the moment and become familiar with them. Even if you hate Tool, watch some of their videos on Youtube and form an opinion. Then find some tunes you do like and get into it. (You might be surprised by how much you like some of the new stuff.)

Music comes up all the time in conversation with women, and on dates, and it will be challenging for her to relate to you if the only bands you talk about are Led Zeppelin, Dylan, and the Stones.

Good musical taste marks you as a cool guy who’s “with it.” If you’re with it, the younger girls will begin to see you as a prospect. Combine this with your fitness, cool haircut, and killer threads, and you’ve got a winning combination.

Important tip #1: It’s extremely important to establish common ground with a younger woman. One of the big mistakes older guys make is that they don’t take the time to connect with her on her level. A 27-year-old woman is having a different life experience than a 45-year-old guy, but if she’s reasonably intelligent and sophisticated, there will always be subjects you can discuss with equal enthusiasm.

It’s up to you to find, and embrace, the commonalities. Some of the ways are through passions, hobbies, travel stories, and music. Once you’ve established common ground, your age becomes irrelevant because you’re relating to each other.

Important tip #2: Even if you’re 45, you don’t have to act like a middle-aged man, or fulfill any of those stereotypes. Much of being successful with younger women is your attitude. You want to be youthful and project youthful qualities: enthusiasm, fun, passion, excitement about what’s on your horizon.

At the same time, you want to emphasize all the good qualities that an older guy possesses such as maturity, high emotional intelligence, worldliness, and an overall sense of security and stability.

When it comes to upgrading your lifestyle, it’s an ongoing process. You’re not going to achieve it by next week. If you’re significantly overweight, it’s going to take a year or more of gym work to really get fit. Same thing if you’ve never traveled. This is a journey, so be patient and have fun.

Now that we’ve covered lifestyle, how do you actually meet the younger babes? I’m going to suggest a two-pronged attack. Click here for more tips on how to date young girls.

By Dean Cortez

According to Napoleon Hill, the author of classic motivational books such as How To Win Friends and Influence People, we’re pretty much “programmed” by the time we reach the age of 15.

This means as we grow into adulthood, we’re stuck with many of the same beliefs and behaviors that we developed as children. Many of these beliefs and behaviors are negative, and hold us back from achieving our full potential  For most people, this “conditioning” remains fixed for the remainder of their lives.

This is especially true in regards to how we view our prospects with women, and how we think women view us. The typical young man develops a whole range of damaging beliefs in these areas. He may come to believe that he’s physically unattractive, or not quite attractive enough to date exceptionally good-looking women.

And so, he goes through life dating and marrying women that he believes are “within his range.” He wouldn’t want to overstep his “boundaries” and go for a gorgeous, intelligent, first-class hottie, because he is programmed to believe it would be impossible. He’d only be setting himself up for humiliation and rejection (or so he tells himself).

Maybe in high school, he wasn’t a member of the “cool crowd.” He worked up the nerve to ask a cute girl to the prom, but she dissed him. This same guy, 20 years later, still considers himself to be “uncool” and is wracked with anxiety at the mere thought of approaching and talking to women.

These beliefs will always remain unless you make a conscious effort to reprogram yourself and shed them. This can be done at any age. It becomes a bit more difficult as we grow older, since we’ve spent so many years trapped in the same patterns and beliefs—but it absolutely can be done.

A large part of becoming successful with younger women is making the effort to transform your beliefs about women, and how they perceive you, because much of what you currently believe is simply not true. And this is probably holding you back more than you realize.

One of the top limiting beliefs among men is that women—especially the really hot ones—are only interested in men with a lot of money.

Now here’s what you need to realize. It’s not the money itself that women are powerfully attracted to. It’s the qualities that highly successful men tend to possess. They are often confident, decisive, independent thinkers. They are talented, passionate and ambitious. Their wealth is a byproduct of these super-attractive qualities.

Money alone will not keep a woman interested over the long-term. If a man has money but does not possess those attractive Alpha Male qualities, women will lose interest in him.

Just look at all of the wealthy men who have thriving careers, but can’t maintain healthy relationships and have suffered through multiple divorces.

I believe that in most of these cases, it’s the woman who loses interest in him, and this brings about the downfall of the relationship.

Over the years, she loses the “sweetness” that he fell in love with, and becomes cold and hostile. She constantly henpecks and nags him.  This is a natural response when a woman feels dissatisfied by her partner’s lack of Alpha Male qualities.

Subconsciously, she wishes he would show a backbone and demonstrate the strength that she needs to feel safe and secure. He might be a wizard at making money, but if he’s a “wuss” in the relationship and doesn’t know how to handle her emotional needs, she’s going to get awfully tired of him.

This can be especially true when it comes to younger women. If she’s 25 years old, she’s still sorting out a lot of things in her head. She hasn’t reached your stable position in life. She might be anxious about whether she’s on the right career path. Her friends are getting married and having children; she’s wondering if, and when, she’s going to go down that road.

Now I’m going to explain how to handle the emotional needs of younger women and be the MAN she’ll want to stick with.

Handling Her Emotional Needs

One of the fundamental (and most challenging) differences between the sexes is that men are driven by logic, while women are fueled by emotion. Understanding this, and how to overcome it, will make you much more successful in your quest to date younger women—and to maintain these relationships over the long term.

 As men, when we’re confronted with a problem, we seek to create a solution and solve it as quickly as possible. We take large problems and attempt to make them small.

Women, on the other hand, have a tendency to take small problems and blow them up to larger proportions. They react to minor problems by getting emotional, and “turning molehills into mountains.”

If you’re going to date younger women, you’re going to experience this. And you’ve got to know the correct way to deal with it.

When your younger girlfriend gets emotional and dramatic over something that you view as fairly unimportant, you basically have two options:

• Tell her to calm down—she’s being silly and making a big deal over nothing.
• Listen and express empathy (even if you feel she’s totally blowing things out of proportion). Be her emotional “rock” who is calm, steady and non-judgmental.

Trust me: the first option is only going to make things worse, and cause her to lose respect for you. Option #2 is the way to go.

Let’s look at an example. Your girlfriend, who works as a waitress, comes over to your house. You’ve cooked dinner (lasagna, your specialty) and you’re planning a relaxing, romantic evening together.

But when she shows up, she’s in a pissy mood. She starts complaining…

HER: I’m so sick of my goddamn job. Lisa, the other waitress, is such a bitch. She didn’t show up today, so I had to cover her tables. I’m doing the job of two people, and my boss is always giving me a hard time…

YOU: That’s why I keep telling you, you need to find a better job.

HER: I can’t just quit! How am I supposed to pay my bills? How am I supposed to make my car payments?

YOU: You never should have bought that car in the first place. You can’t afford it.

HER: But I love that car!

YOU: I’m just saying, you’ve got to be more responsible with your money –

HER: I don’t need a lecture from you right now!

YOU: And I don’t want to hear you complain about your stupid job! I had a shitty day, too, and I had to race home to cook dinner…

HER: You don’t even care, do you? You can be such an asshole sometimes…

YOU: You’re being ridiculous!

(The argument escalates, and ends with her storming out and slamming the door.)

Now let’s look at how the emotionally strong, mature man deals with the situation:

HER: I’m sick and tired of my job. I had to cover for Lisa again. I’m doing the job of two people, and my boss is always giving me a hard time…

YOU: Sounds like you had a rough day. I’m sorry to hear that, babe.

HER: It was awful. And I had this customer who was so rude…

YOU: Come here, honey. (You hug her, give her a little shoulder massage.) Why don’t you relax on the couch and tell me about it. Dinner’s almost ready; I’ll get you a glass of wine.

(She sits down, has some wine, complains a bit more…and then runs out of steam and starts to relax.)

YOU: Well, I can totally understand why you feel that way. I think my lasagna is going to cheer you up…

HER: Sounds good, hun. So anyway…how was your day?

(…and there you have it. Argument avoided. Her emotional outburst has been defused. Fast-forward two hours and a few more glasses of wine, and they’re having hot sex on the couch.) Click here for more tips on how to date young girls.

Enjoying massive success with younger women begins with what I call the “180 Rule.” What this means, basically, is that you’ve got to start doing the opposite of what most men do when they interact with women. You want to take your game in a completely opposite direction.

This is because the worst thing you can do, when you’re out there meeting women, is to be predictable. When you approach or converse with a woman in an unoriginal, predictable way, she’s going to mentally lump you in with the last 47 guys who walked up to her, or offered to buy her a drink, or made some annoying attempt to get her phone number.

Keep this question in mind: when you talk to women, are you giving them reasons to say “yes” to you? Are you motivating them towards getting to know you, handing over their phone number, or going back to your place?

Or, are you being unoriginal and giving them reasons to say “no?” Think of yourself as guy #48…and remember, the last 47 got shot down because they didn’t strike her as being anything different.

Some of those 47 guys were tall; others were short. Some were her age. Some were older. Some were strikingly handsome; others reminded her of her creepy high school math teacher.

But she wound up shooting down all of them because she didn’t perceive any value in them, and she didn’t sense any challenge.

They all wanted her! That much was obvious. They would have gladly paid for her drinks all night, if she would do them the honor of keeping them company. But there was nothing interesting about them. They were a drain on her energy, and her patience.

The moment these guys started talking, her female “radar” was picking up on red flags. So what if he was tall, or rich, or bore a strong  resemblance to Johnny Depp he was lame and predictable. After five minutes of dead-end conversation, she was already glancing around the room trying to come up with an excuse to extract herself.

Remember that women are conditioned to say “no” to men. This is a natural defense mechanism.

Attractive women are approached and propositioned by men constantly. They don’t say “no” just to spare themselves from endless, lame conversations there’s also an evolutionary reason behind it.

Let’s face it. What does every one of these guys want from her? Sex. This is why we approach women and start conversations. And as men, theoretically, we could sleep with an endless number of women and never face any consequences.

For women, however, there is always the chance that they will get pregnant. If she lowers her shield and gets intimate with the wrong guy, she could very easily wind up a single mother, raising a genetically weak child. And as a single mother, her chances of “winning the game”—meeting and marrying a successful, attractive man who makes her feel secure are significantly diminished. She got screwed literally.

So, not to get overly analytical, but just remember that younger women are looking for reasons to blow you off rather than lowering their defenses and allowing you into their world.

         You’ve got to give her reasons to say “yes.”

         YES, it’s great to meet you and I want to know more about you.

         YES, I’d love to give you my phone number.

         YES, I am free on Friday night for dinner.

         YES, let’s go back to your place and open that bottle of wine.

So what’s the key to putting her in the “yes” mindset?  Let’s begin with the #1 mistake that men make with women: broadcasting their interest.

In other words, he lets her know, right off the bat, that he’s attracted to her and would LOVE to get with her, if she decides that he is worthy. This immediately puts him in a position of weakness instead of a position of strength.

Here are some of the ways that guys broadcast their interest:

• Telling her how beautiful she is
• Using an obvious “pickup line”
• Offering to buy her a drink right away
• Talking too much about himself, in an attempt to impress her
•  Monopolizing her time and space (once the conversation begins, he’ll try to engage her for as long as possible until she has to politely excuse herself)
• Being jealous or possessive; feeling threatened by other men in the environment

The skilled seducer, on the other hand, understands how to challenge women and frame himself as the “prize” that she needs to win. He talks very little about himself. When she asks him questions (such as “what do you do for a living?”), he responds with a playful joke, or alludes to what he does in vague terms.

He has no need to impress her. She is the one who is going to need to be impressive, because YOU are a man of wisdom and experience, with many options.

Project this to women, and they’ll express their interest in you. They’ll show it in small ways  a brief touch, a flirtatious smile, a comment like “you’re cute” or “so are you this smooth with all the girls you meet?”

The key is to not take the bait. If she says or does something that seems to indicate her interest in you, ignore it. Stick with your game. Her indication of interest is not a license for you to drop your guard and broadcast your interest. If anything, you’ve got to play it more cool.

HER: “You’re so interesting. I feel like you and me really click.’”

YOU: “I hear that a lot from women.”

HER: “You’re probably a player, huh? Popular with the ladies?”

YOU: ‘Women like me, and I love women. So it all works out.”

HER: “I like you.”

YOU: “Yeah, I can tell.”

Let’s say that you’re out with a woman, and the conversation has been going great. You’ve been controlling the flow of the conversation and building a bond with her.

You say something funny and touch her on the knee.

She puts her hand on yours.

She looks into your eyes, and smiles…

So now the two of you are holding hands, and it’s obvious she’s attracted to you. At this point, the typical guy will think “this girl is into me,” and will start acting differently.

His inner Wuss will emerge. He’ll start being super-nice and polite and allow the conversation to drift onto the wrong topics. (Such as talking about “exes,” and past relationships, and his own personal problems…WEAK areas that should be avoided)

He’s trying extra hard not to “blow it.” He figures if he can just be super nice and polite and not say anything stupid, surely he’ll get her back to his place…

Because he’s received approval from her, and has proof that she likes him, he figures,

“I don’t need to keep applying my skills at this point. This one’s in the bag. I can just be myself now.”

The problem is, this means reverting back to being the boring, ordinary and predictable version of who he is. When she realizes that he’s really not the confident, funny, mysterious guy she thought he was, her attraction cools off…and the date ends with a kiss on the cheek, and her going home alone.

A classic example of this comes from the movie “The Empire Strikes Back.” Han Solo is about to descend into the carbon chamber and get deep-freezed. Princess Leia’s parting words to him are, “I love you.”

To which Han replies, “I know.”

So after all the sexual tension that has been building up between these two, she finally loses control and blurts out a declaration of love. And how does Han react? Does he reciprocate, by telling her how much he loves her and getting all mushy?

Hell no! He just says, “I know.”

Maybe he loves her, too. But he doesn’t give her the confession. He doesn’t give her the validation she is craving at that moment. He doesn’t let her win.

As a result, this AMPLIFIES the sexual tension, and Leia’s attraction towards him, to a mind-blowing level. If she wanted him before, now she absolutely craves him with every molecule of her being.

If you start chatting with a woman in a bar, don’t monopolize her time and space. Excuse yourself to step outside and make a phone call, or to check in with some friends. Come back five or ten minutes later and pick up where you left off with her.

The idea is to get her interested, build up her attraction, then disengage and give her space. Repeat the process. You can make her miss you, even if you’re only stepping away for a few minutes. This is also a sure sign of confidence. Imagine how the average guy would handle the situation: he’d stand there and talk her ear off for as long as she allowed him to. Not you.

Nice guys say predictable things, and take women out on predictable dates. You want to have an “edge” that conveys calm, cool confidence; act like your options are endless, and she’s just one of them.

If you’re standing at the bar, talking to a girl, here’s what the difference would be…

BORING GUY: “So, can I buy you a drink?”

COOL GUY: “Grab us a couple of drinks, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Or, another variation on this:

BORING GUY: “Let me buy you a drink.”

COOL GUY: “Y’know what, Melissa, I get the sense that you’re a lot deeper than most guys realize. I’m going to go ahead and get us some drinks, because I want to hear more about that trip you took toSpain.” Or, as you’re about to leave the bar with her…

BORING GUY: “Can I walk you to your car?”

COOL GUY: “C’mon, walk me to my car.”

Or, when you call her to schedule a date:

BORING GUY: “Maybe if you’re free sometime, we could get together and do something…”

COOL GUY: “I’m planning on checking out this new Mexican place  on Friday night, I hear they make the best margaritas in town. Why don’t you come along, I can pick you up at eight o’clock.”

Assume that the last 37 guys that approached her, or called her, were utterly predictable. They introduced themselves the same way, asked her the same series of “job interview”-type questions, and talked about standard, uninteresting topics. And they only changed topics when the current topic had been run into the ground.

The key to having dynamic conversations is that you control the flow. You keep the conversation moving into new, interesting territory. Don’t linger on a topic until it has run out of steam. Keep the conversation flowing in new directions to keep her in a heightened, interested emotional state.