Archetype One: “The 40 Year-Old Virgin”

This type of guy doesn’t necessarily need to be a virgin in the strict, sexual sense. By “virgin” I might also mean a guy who has managed to have a lot of stuff in his life handled well: he might have a great career, education, health, and spirituality, and yet he hasn’t dated much since college. Or, he might have been married for decades and recently divorced.

Perhaps his career kept him too occupied. One way or another, he’s reached a mature stage in his life in certain respects, but when it comes to dating/seducing women, he knows less than most men who are 10 or even 20 years younger than he is.

The greatest challenge for such “late beginner” lies in the sense of embarrassment of being a beginner at his age. But you’ve got to approach the process of learning pickup the way you would any other skill, such as learning to play a musical instrument; you set aside some time each day to learn and practice.

Archetype Two: “The Giver-Upper”

We all know guys who have a mundane daily routine working, eating, sleeping, running chores, going through the paces and slouching through it all, with little to look forward to or get excited about?

Like any of us, this guy had great dreams once, and had talents to match those dreams but at some point he gave up hope, and began to lose interest in life, and in himself?

Whatever it is that brings happiness and enthusiasm to the lives of other men, he figures it has passed him by it’s simply “too late” for him to experience those things.

And yet there is something still alive in that man’s soul, which makes him crave the companionship of a woman.

He believes the right relationship would make him happy.

Neurotic perfectionism is likely to be at the core of such a self-defeating attitude. This guy expects “all” or “nothing” of himself. Since “all” would not be plausible for anyone, he settles for “nothing.”

He’s facing a tough task of accepting and surviving his imperfection he can’t find a way to emerge from the cloud of denial he has enveloped himself in, and improve his situation and sense of self-worth.

All of the greatest things any of the greatest human beings ever achieved have the ordinary at their core. Embrace the ordinary: the brilliant people who make Apple computers are not as perfect as their product (and it’s not that perfect, either); Beethoven’s music is almost supernatural in its beauty, but the guy who composed those symphonies and quartets was just as imperfect in his humanity as any of us.

Join a gym. Free some time to do things you always dreamed of doing. Dare to be ordinary and yet dare to be as great as your dreams are. Wake up.

Archetype Three: “The Brainwashed”

This one is the toughest cookie. He defines reality by what he watches on TV, or reads in men’s magazines. He overlooks great women whose love would make any man proud, just because he believes that a man of his stature must date women with “model” looks.

His self-respect is based on the value of labels attached to things he owns, drives, wears, eats, or drinks. He finds safety in the brand. A woman is no more than a status symbol for him, even though he would deny it in public for the sake of political correctness.

Fear of reality drives this man. His case may be the most challenging, because he is not aware of his fear. This man has to slow down and face the fear. This is the only way for him to meet a woman he would actually be happy with.

Otherwise, he is bound to always take the wrong turn at the road fork of his destiny.