Guys in their 40 and 50s tend to have a harder time conceptualizing that they can be successful with younger women online. Age and experience, however, can be hugeassets that you use to your advantage.
For starters, stop viewing your age as a vulnerability, and don’t bother trying to hide (or fudge) the truth. Assuming you are truthful in your profile, your age is going to be listed right there for women to see.
Sure, a lot of guys will shave a few years off their actual age, but eventually you’ve got to meet these women in person and if you’re obviously way older than you claimed to be, she is going to automatically deem you untrustworthy.)
I’ve helped many guys to become more successful with dating younger women. Personally, I don’t date women over the age of 25, and with these methods I’ve managed to get up to 10 dates a week with beautiful women on a recurring basis.
I’ve also had the chance to experience firsthand some of the most common obstacles that older men face when using online dating. I’ve been fortunate to get really good at overcoming these obstacles, and other guys have asked me how to overcome these challenges.
This is why I’ve put this special report together: to help guys like us get over these obstacles easily, and find success in online dating—no matter what you want to get out of it.
Click here for Part 1
You don’t know what to write in an email, and you worry about what a girl is going to feel when she reads your emails.
Guys who are new to online dating often ask themselves: “What can I tell a girl about myself that will make her really interested in me?” Another question I hear a lot from older guys is, “should I explain why I’m contacting her, even though I’m out of her age range?”
The answer might surprise you: tell her nothing!
Don’t try to convince a girl to like you by telling her about your strengths and attributes. Don’t try to dazzle her with your personal “resume.” What you should do is convey the characteristics that generate attraction in a woman, through story telling and banter.
The qualities you want to convey are:
Confidence. Assume she is already attracted to you, and will definitely want to respond to your email. Don’t write things like, “I hope you’ll like my profile” or “or please write me back,” or end your email with, “eagerly waiting your response.” Assume that she is going to dig you, and the only thing left to figure out will be the logistics of your first meet.
Humor. If you can make a girl laugh, you’re way ahead of most guys. I’ve seen girls communicating, dating and sleeping with guys who have red flags saying “DO NOT date this guy!” splattered all over them—only because they were really funny, and know how to make a woman loosen up and laugh.
Now, when I say humor, I don’t mean that you need to include jokes in your email. I’m talking about playful humor—teasing the girl, making light fun of her.
For example, sometimes girls will accidentally email me their same first reply twice, because they clicked the “send” button twice. I’ll accuse them of being in love with me, and playfully ask them if they have any stalker tendencies. I make sure to let them know that I’m kidding, and that I’m teasing them, but of course they’ll write me back to deny it…and the correspondence is now moving ahead.
Sophistication. Older men can definitely use this quality to their advantage, and to show women that they can add a lot of social value to their lives. You’ve been around, you know cool places to go, you do cool things, etc…this gives you a huge advantage over the younger guys, who mostly just joke around and talk about insignificant things (i.e. how wasted they got with their “bros” at the bar last night).
Online dating is frustrating, because you’re not getting any quality responses. You’re ready to give up…
First, let me say that I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to try and try, and not see any results. But there is hope for you, and this hope comes in the form of “Detachment.”
Detachment from results is one of the most important things you can do when learning a new skill.
This applies to learning skills with women as well, both online and offline as well. At least for a while, until you get really good at this, I want you to imagine that you’re simply playing a video game.
It takes a lot of practice, and trial and error, to master most video games. But every time you don’t win, you learn some more about how to beat the game or the level you’ve been stuck on.
Do you break down and get emotional when something bad happens to you in a video game? No, you just hit “restart” and play it again. Hopefully, you also learn something from your mistake and try not to do it again. It’s the same with online dating.
If you’re going for young high-quality women, you will get ignored and shot down. You will get occasional rude responses, and you will have girls try to mess with you. You will even have girls flake out on you and not show up to dates (once you get good at this, this will happen very infrequently, but it does happen).
Sometimes it will sting—like when you think things are going well, and suddenly a girl stops communicating with you. But you’ve gotta get back to the game, and play another round.
Remember that word: DETACHMENT. If you have to print it out and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or read it out loud to yourself every day, then do it. This is really important.
I’m getting girls to go on dates with me, but we always end up just being “friends.” (Her suggestion, not mine!) How do I get a girl to come home with me?
Most guys think that they need some elaborate plan or scheme to get a girl to get physical with them, or come home with them after a date, but this is not true.
When you suggest that she comes to your place, you need to do it in a casual way that doesn’t even imply any physical contact. The best way to do it is to throw in some “anti-intimate” phrases that will make her feel a little bit confused about your intentions.
The groundwork for “closing the deal” (getting intimate with her back at your pad) should be laid during the date. When you talk about a subject during the date (I always talk about my dogs), you can use that later as a way to get her over (I’ll say, “come by and see my dogs, they’d love to meet you”). But here is the critical part: you always need to add a “de-sexifier” (yes, I invented that word) to make the invite seem innocent.
A good de-sexifier to tack on is, “…but you can’t stay for long, because I have to get up early tomorrow.” Attractive women usually have guys beg them to come over and stay for as long as they can, but by using that line, you’re throwing off her defense mechanism and making her feel you are different from the other guys, who are obviously hoping to get her to spend the night.
Another great de-sexifier one that should be used only if the vibe is right—is saying, “you can come over for a little while, but I’m not going to put out, so don’t get your hopes up…”
This is actually a sentence I stole from a girl who used it on me when I was learning this stuff. You will most likely get your arm punched, but inside, the girl is already going to be thinking of what it’s like being intimate with you.
In the meantime, good luck. Take the correct approach, and maintain the right attitude, and beautiful younger women are well within your grasp. There are literally millions of them online right now, as we speak so what are you waiting for?