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Important Qualities to Project To Younger Women By Dean Cortez

One of the older man’s best assets is his ability to make younger women feel stable, secure and protected. “Protecting” her, in today’s society, rarely has anything to do with your physical size or your ability to physically defend her. A successful modern man radiates strength through his words and actions.

For example, demonstrating that you are decisive is a very important way to convey strength. Loyalty and commitment are other forms of strength that women find highly attractive.

These are things you should imply rather than say outright. By telling her a quick story about how you came through for a friend of yours—because you’re committed to your friends, and you feel loyalty is important—you’re planting seeds in her mind that you possess these qualities. This type of story can be simple, and you can tell it at any time.

You don’t need to wait until the subject of loyalty comes up. Just create a segue.

Here’s an example:

HER: “My job has been so crazy lately (blah blah blah…)”

YOU: “I’ve also been super busy. And on top of that, my friend Michelle asked me to help her move on Sunday. I need to be at her place at 7 in the morning to help her load a truck full of stuff. I’ll be exhausted, because I’ve got a party to be at on Saturday night, but she’s been there for me in the past and she’s earned a place in my inner circle. So I told her I’d help, and I don’t break commitments.”

Now that was an effective answer. Look at how many indicators of your value were loaded into that reply. You stressed how much you value loyalty and commitment. You also pointed out that you’ve got female friends in your inner circle, which implies that you’re popular among women. Plant those seeds, and she’ll take note of them.

Women are always filtering our words and actions through their mental computers. And never forget: while we’re always looking for reasons to qualify attractive women (to justify our desire to have sex with them), their minds are searching for reasons to disqualify us.

If we meet a hot girl, we’ll usually overlook the deficiencies in her character and her personality, or habits of hers that we would never tolerate in an unattractive girl, because we’re focused on getting her into bed. (This is especially true when it comes to beautiful younger women. She might be a needy drama queen with the I.Q. of a door knob, but if she’s got amazing tits and a rock-hard body, we’re interested!!)

Women, on the other hand, seek to find reasons to disqualify men. You could have attractive qualities—whether it’s the way you dress, what you do for a living, or your sense of humor—but if you show weakness in a certain area, she may mentally disqualify you in an instant.

Some guys trigger all kinds of red flags when they talk to younger women, and never realize where they went wrong. Have you ever been on a date that you thought went well, and even though you didn’t hook up at the end of the night, you figured there was a serious possibility that she would become your next girlfriend? But when you called her to arrange a second date, she was suddenly extremely “busy” and couldn’t commit to making any plans…or didn’t return your phone call?

Before I started improving my game, that sort of thing happened to me on a regular basis. I couldn’t understand how a girl who seemed so enthusiastic on our first date would then come up with excuses not to go on a second date. Or, I’d meet a girl in a bar and have a great conversation with her, but when I’d call her a couple of days later to plan a date, she wouldn’t call me back.

It’s now clear to me what I had done on those dates that had caused women to disqualify me. I’m able to identify the things I did, and said, that raised red flags in her mind and got me disqualified. Sometimes, one mistake is all it takes for her to dismiss you mentally, and move onto the next. Remember, beautiful young women always have other options.

Women disqualify men for instinctive reasons all the time. The other day, I was talking to a sexy female friend of mine, Christine, about a date she’d been on the night before. She’d met the guy on the Internet and this was their first time meeting face-to-face.

According to her, he had been sweet, funny, and “really cute” (her words). He brought her flowers, and took her out to a restaurant where their dinner and wine cost over $150. But after they said goodnight (with a quick hug and kiss on the cheek), she had no desire to ever see him again. She’d disqualified him. I asked her why, and she couldn’t really explain. She said “I don’t know, I guess I just didn’t feel the right chemistry.”

I was curious, so I asked her to explain the date in detail. It then became obvious to me what he’d done to turn her off. He had broadcasted his interest. He told her, on that very first date, how he was looking for someone to settle down with. At the end of the date he told her “I really like you, and I think there might be potential for a relationship here.” Then he asked her if she was available the following night to go out again.

Anyway, Mr. Internet Romeo thought he was just being sincere and honest. But what he was actually doing was surrendering control. He was letting her know, “I’m yours if you want me. Now, it’s your call.”

To Christine, he no longer presented any sort of challenge. The sexual tension they’d built up over the past few weeks, chatting on Yahoo! Messenger and emailing, was suddenly gone. Also, by trying to set up a date for the following night, her mind registered another red flag—that he might be the clingy, possessive type who would want to constantly be with her, because he had little else going on in his life.

If a guy broadcasts the message that he is totally, utterly single, without other women desiring him, how desirable can he be to a girl like Christine? Women will wonder, “What’s the catch?” There must be something about him that turns women off—possibly a very serious flaw. Most women would rather cut him loose than stick around and find out what his personal issues are.

Once you’ve built a relationship with a girl and you’re having sex on a regular basis, you can spend more time with her and make yourself more available. But in those opening stages, when her female intuition is on high alert and she’s trying to determine her level of attraction towards you, always being available can kill her interest.

Don’t be an open book; present an element of intrigue and mystery.

Another thing you’ll learn in M.A.C.K. Tactics: The Ultimate Edition is that the concept of “chemistry” is nonsense. It’s a figment of the female imagination. As a Mack, you can manufacture a sense of chemistry and make her feel that it exists between the two of you. By simply applying the right Tactics, you can make her feel like you’re the guy she was “destined” to meet.

Achieving the Right Image and Attitude Part 2 By Lucas West

It’s not your age that’s the issue; it’s hers that might be the issue.

What if she’s too inexperienced and too naive? You’re the right age, but she has to prove to you that she’s wise beyond her years. Or, at the very least, willing to learn from you.

For some guys, believing this will take some work. Changing beliefs isn’t the easiest thing in the world, especially if there are a whole bunch of other beliefs tangled up in them. With patience and determination, however, you can start to believe that you have an advantage over younger men.

If you believe in yourself, possibilities open up. The major factor here is confidence and self-assuredness. I mean this in several ways. Not only does it mean that you’ve got self-esteem and believe in your own self-worth, but you’re also fearless and will go after whatever it is that you want.

That means you don’t think twice about approaching a 20 or 30-something woman. Project the sense that a man of your stature and confidence has gotten with younger women before; this should look easy.

You must exude the feeling that you’ve done this before, and being with a younger woman is nothing out of the ordinary. If you can truly grasp that and make it part of your belief system, then you will project it to her. It will make it that much easier for her to forget about the age difference.

Let me clarify that. Being with a younger woman has to seem par for the course, but you still want her to feel special. You’re not going after her because you need a younger woman.  You’re interested in her because she seems interesting as a person. You just don’t want her to feel that her age is a big deal to you.

This kind of confidence comes from experience. It comes from making a concerted effort to be comfortable in that kind of situation. If you’re comfortable with women around your age, start frequenting places with a slightly younger age bracket (eg coffee shops), and start interacting slightly outside of your comfort zone. Work your way slowly, over the course of a few months, to the age group you want.

If you’re 40, don’t jump into a 20 year old’s world without experiencing some 30 year old and mid-late 20s women first. Your mind and nervous system prefers gradual change, and it’s best to approach it that way if you want to acquire a new set of permanent beliefs.

3. Your Selection Criteria

I have a 55 year old friend of mine who lives inIndia. Every Monday, he goes to an American karaoke bar and sings a few tunes. He doesn’t have the best voice in the world, but it is certainly a powerful one. After his first number, he buys a handful of people around him a round of drinks. Over the course of a few weeks from when he started, he’s become the guy that everybody knows.

Even in India, a place far more conservative than ourUnited States(and the rest of the western world), he’s been able to pick up several women under thirty at that bar. That’s because he embodies confidence and makes his presence felt. As a result, he has social status. At that bar, he’s near the top of the pecking order.

It’s a mindset that he has cultivated, and one that is accurately sent out as his image. The two cannot be separated.

* Side Note: People (men and women both) defer to a man who takes care of them. I’ve mentioned buying drinks twice before. Supposedly, in the seduction circle, that’s a sign of weakness. You’re not supposed to “buy” her affection or attention. But when a man isn’t using it in a subservient manner, when he isn’t trying to impress her, it leaves a different impression. My friend buys drinks for a group of people; the girl he’s interested in just happens to be within that group. If you buy her a drink with the attitude that, “Of course I’m going to buy you a drink. I take care of all my friends this way,” it comes across quite a bit better.

I think, with age, comes more of a requirement to take care of women. The older you get, the more likely you’ll have to provide for the woman you select. Certainly, you’ll be expected to pick up the tab.

No matter who you select, she’s looking for some type of demonstration of the pecking order. You’re expected to be at the top because you’re older. Those at the top take care of the ones underneath him.

Don’t mistake this to mean you pay for everything. It’s not like you have to pay for her college tuition. Just a demonstration is all that’s required. It shouldn’t look like a demonstration, either.

My friend has found a place that, for him, works well. He’s able to demonstrate his authority and youthfulness among all age groups. I think you’ll benefit in finding the same. Some bars, coffee shops, and even something like night classes, would have a varied age group.

Of course, it isn’t necessary to go “somewhere.” If you’re confident in yourself, you’ll be able find women anywhere. But, for the sake of practice, it’s a good idea to find place where you can become a regular and befriend a few people (yes, even men) younger than you are.

One more thing to consider is that there are some women who are more likely to disregard the age gap than others. In my experience, the more intelligent the woman, the more likely mature the man she dates. It’s not an inalterable rule, obviously, but it’s a good starting point to find receptive girls. Also, the more “alternative” she is (in the way she dresses and what she believes in), the more likely she’ll overlook the age difference. A vegetarian, for example, has an alternative mindset.

Ask yourself, “Why am I seeking out a younger woman?” I know, the real answer is because you and I both want a smoking hot chick in our beds so we can say, “I’ve still got it.” Besides that, find some other answers for yourself. What are you looking for? Come up with some good answers that ring true for you, and seek those types of women out. If you have a clearer goal, it’s easier to attain.

A Final Note

Finding a younger woman is not much different from finding one your age. You just have to be surer of yourself, more confident, and demonstrate capability and authority. Failure comes from a weak image; you cannot waver.

Change your beliefs about what you’re capable of doing. If you take it slowly, you can really surprise yourself. Then, go out there and take some chances. Use your age to your advantage.

It’s not about pulling the wool over her eyes so that she believes you to be someone you’re not. It’s about becoming the kind of man she’s always dreamt of. Many women are looking for the kind of guy you are. You just have to really be that guy.

You can do this. And if you need any help in getting there, I’m here to help.

The Maverick Principle By Dean Cortez

As a confident guy, you should be fitting women into your schedule, not the other way around.

Don’t be easy to pin down. This places you in a category of men she isn’t used to dealing with, and it reverses the traditional rules of courtship: normally, women are the ones who play “hard to get” and make it difficult for men to schedule plans with them.

As a successful, confident, you are the one who is occupied with other things, and you see women on your terms.

In today’s dating world, this sets you apart as a true maverick.

Most guys will hang on the phone for as long as she was wants to talk, even if it means listening to her complain about her sex life with her ex-boyfriend for an hour. Whenever she’s free, these guys will put everything else aside to talk to her, or spend time with her.

Women grow bored with this type of man. If he’s always available, it’s a sign that he has nothing else going on his life, and that no other women are interested in him. Women are intrigued by a man who is a hot commodity, not a guy who is free any time she is available.

So instead of immediately accepting her offer the next time she invites you to hang out, create I.O.U.’s. (This is a kick-ass Mack Tactics technique that I fully explain in the “Ultimate Edition” book, available at Mack Tactics.)

When a girl calls this type of guy to say “me and my friends are going to the bar tonight, do you want to meet up later?”, he won’t commit right away. Even if he has no plans this evening, he’ll project the image of a busy guy.

He’ll say “I have some people I need to see (or some business I need to handle), but maybe later I can make an appearance.” (I love that phrase, “make an appearance.” It makes you sound like a celebrity who will be gracing them with your presence.)

Then, he may choose to not show up at all. He’ll tell her the next day “Sorry, something came up.” (He won’t offer an explanation.) This only increases his allure and the sense that he is a “commodity.” The next time they do hang out, she’s going to make an extra effort to entice him. She knows he is in demand, and she won’t want to let him slip through her fingers.

Again, you are turning the tables. Normally, on a date, it’s the guy who is eagerly trying to impress the woman and “score points” with her. When a woman is on a date with you, she is the one trying to score points and capitalize on a limited window of opportunity.

A very important note before we move on: when you do meet up with a girl—whether it’s for a date, or you’re meeting her and her friends at a club—I’m not suggesting that you should act arrogant or aloof, like you’ve got somewhere more important to be. When you are not with her and she wants to see you, you’ve got to play a little bit “hard to get.”

But when you are with her, you must be completely focused on her. You’re totally attentive and “in the moment.” This makes her even MORE eager to see you again, because you make her feel special. But it’s always going to be on your terms, on your schedule.

Also, women tend to be flaky and be late to appointments, but you should always be punctual.

Your time is precious, and if she makes a habit of showing up late to meet you, you’ve got to call her on it. Most guys will act like it’s no big deal when she shows up at the restaurant 20 minutes late: “Oh, don’t worry about, it’s fine…”

Instead, you should call her on it: “Wow, this is the second time you’ve been late to meet me. What’s up with that?”

Say it with a smile—you don’t want to sound pissed—but make sure she gets the message: you’re not cool with people showing up 20 minutes late to an appointment with you. And you’re not going the typical spineless-nice guy route and excusing her behavior.

After she babbles her apology and explains her lateness, switch gears and move onto a fun topic. Just make sure that seed is planted in her mind: your time is valuable, and must be respected. By showing up late, she tested you — and you passed with flying colors.

Be A Leader

The older men I’ve observed, who have tremendous success with younger women, understand how to be a leader. When he goes out for a meal, he knows what he likes to eat, and he has a list of favorite restaurants around town.

He knows which movies are playing, and the one he wants to see. He has his favorite clubs and bars, and when he shows up, a bartender or a waitress will always welcome him by name.

And when he arranges a date with a woman, he doesn’t ask her opinion on where they should go. His plan is mapped out. She gets to come along for the ride.

Weak Move: “So what do you feel like doing tonight?”

Strong Move: “I’ll pick you up at eight, we’re going to have some fun. Wear something sexy.”

(This is an excellent Tactic. Tell her what to wear. You don’t need to be specific; just say “wear something sexy.” She’ll be thinking about you, and winning your approval, for the entire two hours it takes her to select her outfit and get ready.)

Women respect, and follow, a man who leads. As a man, this is part of your masculine duty. It is expected of you. When men defer to women and don’t want to make decisions, women grow irritated with them because they’re being forced to play the masculine role in the relationship, and this is not natural.

Look at all the pathetic married guys who constantly give in to their wives’ demands, and let them run the show. Do their wives appreciate it? Hell no! It makes them henpeck their husbands even worse. Because women, contrary to how they might act, don’t want to be the “boss” all the time. They’re wishing their man would show a backbone and behave like an Alpha Male.

 When it’s time to schedule a date, figure out in advance where you want to take her, so that you never appear unsure. Project an air of self-assuredness at all times. As long as you lead, and keep them interested in the “challenge,” women will follow…into your bedroom, and beyond.


Inside the Mind of A Beautiful (But Insecure) Younger Woman By Christian Hudson

Beautiful women particularly the younger ones, who are the object of every guy’s attention when they’re dressed to kill and out socializing often have deep insecurities that you wouldn’t suspect. If you’ve ever been “gamed” by a girl who was hot with you one day, and cold the next, you probably know what I mean.

An important aspect of dating younger women is knowing how to recognize the warning signs of an insecure girl who just isn’t ready to date a man of your caliber. This is when true confidence comes into play having enough of it to hit the “eject” button and bail out of a bad relationship, knowing that you’ve got the skills and confidence to find someone more deserving of you.

Let’s take a journey into the mind of a hot but deeply insecure younger woman to see what’s really going on, and how she games the men in her life.

The hot girl in question is a composite of three girls I’ve known, and we’ll call her Sarah. Every girl has a little bit of Sarah in them; this composite we’re drawing is simply the most extreme iteration of it. Here’s the backstory, taken from my experiences with the three girls.

Sarah is a smart girl – far more intelligent than she initially appears. She plays the role of the “ditzy little girl” with aplomb, and half of my friends still refuse to believe that her IQ could possibly break the triple-digit barrier. But when it comes to men, she knows exactly what she’s doing. I’ve seen her destroy several guys (myself included), and I watch her keeping a steady flow of prospects in the pipeline. The guys she dates are good looking and successful—and usually, they fall for her hard.

I believe that deep down, Sarah is a good person who wants to find a deeper happiness than her life today gives her, but as it stands, I’d hate for one of my friends to get caught up with a girl like her. And should you ever find yourself in a situation with a Sarah of your own, its only fair that you understand exactly what’s going on. Personally, I’ve dated two girls like her before, and I was in a wickedly hurtful relationship with one of them.

So let’s see if we can get into Sarah’s head…

The first thing you have to know about her existence is that it’s fairly shallow. Moment to moment, she seeks constant emotional and physical stimulation in the form of drugs, sex, cigarettes, text flirting with guys, etc. And unlike most of us, she’s able to get away with this because, well, she’s a hot girl inNew York Citywho knows how to play the game.

Sarah also likes to party. She’s out two to four nights a weeks, sometimes hitting multiple clubs at once, and she’s always at the best and hottest new club. Promoters love her because she rarely brings guys along, and has a great personality; fun, ditzy, playful, giggly – everything you want in a girl when you’re out at a club.

But when she meets a guy in whom she’s interested, her demeanor changes instantly. First, her voice softens up to something akin to a baby’s cooing and her eyes become doe-like. The innocence comes across as capitulation, and flips a big switch in a man – his desire to take care of a woman.

But she also knows how to turn on the sexy… with a narrowing of the eyes, a crossing of the legs, a little bite of the lip – and she’s attractive enough that few men are going to turn her down. I’ve watched her do it to random guys in clubs, as well as with a friend of mine, just to prove to me that she could.

Guys see her “transform” from fun, wild social girl, to fawning little bunny—and imagine her potential as a sexual mistress. This results in paralyzing crushes.

She goes after bankers and traders whenever possible. It is important for her ego that the men she’s dating have certain qualifications.

And as she starts dating a man, she’s full of push-pull. One morning she’s in his kitchen, wearing his oxford shirt and cooking breakfast for him. She tells him she’ll see him later that night, then flakes out and heads to a club with me, where we’ll dance the night away.

The guy starts texting her… “Baby, where are you?” The next morning, she meekly apologizes, shows up for sex, and pulls the guy deeper into thinking that if he tries just a *little* bit harder, she’ll change for him.

And this is the genius – mad or otherwise – in how she handles a man. She is incredibly compliant and giving when she’s with him, to the point he thinks he “has her.” She is very emotional and “falls in love” quickly; temporary as it may be, the guy starts to believe it too. Her emotions are like a hurricane: as soon as they comes, they can also be gone.

And a guy wants to believe that he’s going to be the one who tames her, that she’ll be his domestic Debbie. Then, once she’s felt that the guy has invested enough into her (and critically, ONLY then) she’ll disappear.

Here’s the funny part her routine works best on the guys with huge egos. The most successful, the best-looking, the ones who eat women for breakfast. She’s sexy enough that she can make them work hard to get her  fancy meals, tables and bottles, whatever she wants, really – and once they’ve invested enough and feel they’ve “won,” it becomes part of their ego that they’re dating the girl who everyone else wants but who no one can have. The moment she pulls away, that massive ego begins to lurch. I’ve watch guys cancel travel plans, leave work early, and go into debt trying to pull this girl back into their world.

Does this lead to good relationships? Absolutely not. It results in fights, guys showing up at her house (and mine) yelling in the street for her, and lots of bad feelings. But it works for her for two reasons.

First, all the drama is essentially emotional stimulation. Whether she’s feeling really good and excited about a guy, or whether he’s blowing up her phone with pleas and grievances, it is making her life interesting.

Secondly, while she is an intelligent girl, she has some *very* deep issues. Insecurities she’s not comfortable sharing with a guy with whom she’s romantically involved. She knows (instinctively) that if she truly opens herself up in that way, she’s putting herself in a position to be hurt. And she’s so insecure about who she really is that she’s just not going to let a guy who’s fucking her have that kind of power over her.

So what’s the lesson here for us guys?

Well, most importantly, do your homework and follow your instincts. A key concept in attraction is investment: the more you invest in something, the more of an emotional attachment you develop for it. And falling in love with Sarah is kind of like buying stock in a promising but volatile tech company if it’s a hot thing that is poised to take off and generate massive returns, you might get emotionally invested, and fail to get out when you should.

Every now and then the company puts out a press release with incredibly good news, but since you’ve never met the management team, you have no way of knowing if it’s accurate. And believe me, if a man is dealing with Sarah on a superficial or ego basis, he definitely hasn’t “met management.”

Perhaps you stated dating a younger woman and had people who knew her tell you to “watch out for her,” but you defended her and said “no, I know her in a way that other people don’t,” or something to that effect. Well, “management” is hidden away in the board room and letting the PR and customer service people do the talking, and you bought into the lines you’re being spoon-fed.

What else? Don’t let your ego get caught up in determining whether she’d be a good girl for you. It is not your job to be her Dad, brother or burly protector. Sarah has people in her life who are looking out for her, and just because you’re fucking her doesn’t mean its your responsibility to save her. Yes, if she sees your interest waning, she’ll work hard to get it back. But if you’re getting any signs that your girl is half-heartedly committed, that her insecurities and/or abilities with men are driving her to seek constant stimulation, then you just have to keep your eyes open. One day, when she’s had enough partying, she’ll find a solid man and latch on tight, and there will be no doubt in his mind (or hers) that she’s in it to win it. But until then, if there’s smoke, there’s probably fire.

The things that drive Sarah are present in everyone’s head. When you’re looking for a girlfriend, its important to be able to see her for who she really is. I’ve been in relationships with girls who I thought were loving, honest people. Then something goes wrong, and all of a sudden I’m seeing parts of Sarah come out. The girl is pushing me, pulling me, and I’m telling myself “wait, this isn’t who she is! She’s the girl I was dating a few months ago… I just need to bring that back out of her.” Problem is, because her perception of me and the role that I play in her life has changed, so has she.

Lessons learned. And hey – if you know yourself and who you are, you know what you’ll accept, what you won’t, and you’ll be able to give yourself fully when the right girl comes along. Click here for more tips.


The Universal Secret – And Why We Can’t Succeed With Women Without Part 1

Why is it that sometimes we can light up a room, while other times members of the opposite sex turn away from us in disinterest?

Could the answer to all of our “consistency issues” be right under our noses?

I’ll tell you the answer, but I’ll have to explain myself first for it to sink in. The difference between really connecting with people and not – the thing that every “natural seducer” is always doing in spades, without even thinking about it – comes down to simply speaking the universal language.

Cliché tells us that love is the universal language; however, this is only partially true and isn’t helpful for people looking for the translation – the Rosetta Stone – so to speak.

I actually have to thank an old smoking habit for helping me stumble upon it. Back in college, I had the pesky habit of bumming cigarettes. In fact, I did it so much that I got really good at it. I even developed my own little method.

Despite having the best method in the world, it became clear that whether or not I got a cigarette really depended on one thing:

You can try it yourself and get front row seats to the effects. First, go up to 10 people, ask them for a cigarette, and avoid eye contact and look indifferent. Next, go up to another 10 people, ask them for a cigarette – only this time look them directly in the eye and act as though you are in intense pain and that they hold the key to your freedom.

Everyone reading this who’s ever been a smoker is with me on this.

When I look into the eyes of a smoker with a look on my face that he or she can fully relate to – that I really need a cigarette – they feel that same pain as they are reminded of their own times of distress. When they feel that pain and can’t help but want to relieve it in another.

Ages before complex systems of naming and describing objects came into human existence, humans beings were communicating. Although the vast majority of us have a firm grasp over at least one of these systems, all of the communication that matters the most happens in the same way as it has for our entire existence of our humanity.

A quick look at an on-line thesaurus gives us over 30 words for “angry,” but if a 300lb man has the look on his face that says he’s pissed, everyone who gets even the quickest look at him is getting out of his way.

We need language to hammer out the fine details of a business contract—but how many people would actually do business with someone they didn’t trust, who didn’t give them the feeling that they had ulterior motives?

With that in mind, here’s how you always get your openers to “stick:”

The phrase, “you can tell a lot about a man by his handshake” has been around for awhile. More recently though, this has been taken to mean that one should attempt to squeeze another person’s hand as firmly as possible, to show how “confident” they are.

When you greet someone, you can tell a lot about them by their handshake, or more specifically, how they greet you in general. The “firmness” of the greeting, however, isn’t how you can tell (even though a firm handshake will often happen as a byproduct).

You can tell this by looking right at the person to see if his eyes are meeting yours and if he has a look of warmth on his face. If you approach a woman, and they look at you and your eyes aren’t meeting hers (theirs) and you don’t have a look of warmth on your face, she will get the same feeling you get when you’re working with a person that you just don’t feel right about, you just don’t trust, and you ultimately decide not to work with.

Let me make two things clear:

If you’re thinking about your “opener” when you approach a woman, or maybe just feeling shy, you will not be looking into her eyes, you will not have a warm expression on your face, and she’ll get that feeling that no human likes to feel.

If you start thinking about what to say during a conversation, or question whether or not she likes you, your eyes will drift, your face will become expressionless, and she will definitely get that feeling.

Plus there’s one more important factor to consider:

Women are much better at feeling this stuff than guys, and herein lies the apparent solution, and also the new problem.

On the one hand – success in communication, in being charismatic or a “natural,” lies in your ability to express emotion vividly on your face, and in turn make others feel that emotion. Without that, we’re merely self-aware computers exchanging information. And the last thing a woman wants when she goes out is to exchange information. She wants to feel.

On the other hand, it’s never quite that simple.

Human beings, especially women, have a keen intuition for when someone has their own self-interests in mind, rather than hers. It’s the same as when you just know that a bad salesman has his commission in mind as he’s talking to you.


BONUS TIP FROM CARLOS XUMA: “TEASE TO PLEASE”

The “Tease to Please” method works when you talk to women, because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting ‘strange’ men.

You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you’re picking up on her. It’s what she’s gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier.

Remember when you were just an eight-year-old kid on the playground? There were all these ‘strange’ creatures playing around the sandbox. They were called girls, and they seemed so bizarre and foreign to you. They were delicate and interesting in a way that you couldn’t quite explain, but you knew that they were different.

How do kids treat those that are different? They tease them.

“Mary, Mary, she’s so hairy!”

“Where’d you get that backpack? Looks like a hunchback!”

“Jenny’s got a CARROT top!”

Boys teased girls. Girls teased boys. Everyone made fun of everyone else. It was sandlot politics at its best, and you learned very quickly that you had to develop a callus to the teasing, or you’d get bruised pretty badly. (Some kids never adjusted, and grew up with their own sandbox issues.)

Ah, what fun those days were.

Well, sort of.

We learned some very primitive social interactions there, but the principles still held for many of us. (Hey, whether or not you like it, we’re a lot closer to those kids in the playground than the adults you think we are. Everyone is still a little kid inside.)

I’ll be willing to bet you that you teased more girls because you liked them than you did because of any genuine weirdness. Sure, there’s some cruelty, but the first social interaction most boys have with girls is when they teased them mercilessly. And what happened? The girls stuck up for themselves. They teased back. And they didn’t realize it at the time, but this set in motion a whole pattern of behavior that led to them being very interested and attracted when they are CHALLENGED.

That’s right, boys. Teasing is all about raising the stakes of challenge to her, and letting her know that you don’t get all mushy inside when you get near a girl. No confidence = no attraction from her.

Tease to Please is a simple strategy. By teasing, you emulate a lot of the self-confidence you need to demonstrate with a woman. That’s really the secret in a nutshell. Call it what you want, Cocky and funny, confident and humorous, Tease to Please. You are showing her you have the balls to not roll over and pant like a whipped dog every time a woman comes near you.

Here’s how you do it. In my previous article, I explained how to deliver your introduction. Now you are in a position to continue the conversation as you see fit. You’ve disarmed her natural defenses and opened up your opportunity to engage her attraction mechanism.

You do this through Teasing.

Here’s one of the examples we used last time:

Example: She’s got bright red shoes on.

YOU: “Wow, those are … interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where’d you get them…?”

HER: “Oh, these? Uhm, I got them at Macy’s. They’re really old. I was looking to get a new pair.”

YOU: “Well, my sister is pretty young, but she’d like that style. For an OLD lady … (PAUSE) … you’re a pretty sharp dresser.” You give her a SLIGHT smile that says “That was a joke.”

Remember, “sister” can be changed to aunt, or cousin, or whatever. You can use my standard response I gave you for now, but you’ll do better if you learn how to think on your feet and come up with more personal and customized versions.

There are a whole host of teasing responses. Here are some others (delivered with that sly smile):

“Well, with heels that high, you better watch out for awnings. And low-flying planes.”

“How many feet have you crushed with those things? I’m wearing steel-toes, so don’t try it on me.”

Let’s say it’s about a ring she’s wearing:

“Well, my sister likes those ‘groovy’ rings, too. Do you have a mood ring? I bet you were the kind of girl to wear one of those. Was it blue all the time? You look like you have cold hands.”

“My sister likes toe rings like that. Do you wear them on your toes, too? Just don’t tell me you have a weird piercing, like your butt-cheek. That would just be TOO freaky.”

“Wow, that thing is HUGE. I bet you have to leave it off when you go swimming, huh? Or else you’d sink right to the bottom.”

It goes on and on. In fact, you could sit down and just think up a handful of these for a few different items of clothing (shoes, purse, jacket) and/or jewelry and be set for almost ANY encounter.

Doesn’t it feel great to know that you can now control your meetings and increase your ratios?

Remember: Don’t be insulting. Be TEASING. Teasing is done with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. You kid with her. If you make fun of her in a mean or malicious way, you’re out. If you don’t let her know you’re kidding, you’re out.

The point of all this is to:

A) Get her laughing

B) Challenge her (by demonstrating Self-confidence and that you’re DIFFERENT.)

After you joke with her a little, make a decision if this is a woman you might be interested in. If so, you smile and start to walk away. Then, turn right back and TELL her (don’t ask):

“Hey, you know, we might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your number for me.” (Memorize this phrasing to use.)

An alternate approach: “Hey, you know, I might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your email address for me.”

If she says she doesn’t have a pen, you DO, and hand it to her. If she says she doesn’t have email, tease her some more: “No email? You didn’t just get off a desert island did you?” Smile. “Here, just give me your home phone.” (As she starts writing): “Uhm, your REAL number. I’m just going to call you as soon as I get home and leave a dozen annoying messages on your answering machine.” Smile. Take her number and leave.

Don’t tell her you’ll call. Leave her wondering.

That’s it. You disarm her defenses by keeping a sense of humor. You show self confidence and challenge her by teasing a little. Then you ask for what you want, and then you leave. You’re a busy guy, with a busy schedule of too many women to meet.

This completes your education on the Tease to Please approach. Now, as I said before, for such an invaluable and easy to use technique (given to you FREE, I’ll add) the least you can do is to start putting it to use. I want to hear from guys who go out and start getting some action from the use of this.

‘Cause I’ll guarantee you one thing: You will get more responsiveness from women with this simple approach than ANY other tactic.

More response = more practice. More practice = more dates. More dates = more sex. Or more relationships, or whatever it is you want. It all starts here.

Get more women in your life. This is the bottom line.

Achieving the Right Image and Attitude Part 1 By Lucas West

Full disclosure: as I write this, I’m 32 years old. I may not exactly qualify as an “older guy” to many of you. But that being said, the girl I’m currently dating is 8 years younger than I am. The one before her was nine years younger. And, for a brief moment, I had my taste of a nineteen-year-old while on a visit to foreign lands. Any more of an age gap, and I’d probably be breaking the law.

I suppose that on the surface, you’d think there is a vast difference between 25 and 45. In a relationship, 1o years apart seems to be socially acceptable; 20 or 30 is bound to raise some eyebrows.

However, your success with younger women is not dependent on how old you are, or how large the gap is. The approach you use for a woman your age will also work for someone younger—with a few minor tweaks.

Your success really comes down to three things:

  1. The image you present to the world.
  2. The beliefs/thoughts you have running around in your head, your mindset.
  3. Your selection criteria (ie how you select who you’re going to approach)

Those are the same three things you’d focus on if there weren’t any age gap. Only the variables within each group change a little. Women are women; the psychology of a woman doesn’t change with age. Only her focus does.

1. Your Image

When I talk about your image, I don’t mean the way you dress (though that is an element of it). The image we’re concerned with is the one that she forms based on your external appearance, your way of moving through the world, how you carry yourself, what you say, how you interact with others, etc.

You want to be in total control of the kind of person she thinks you are. Women don’t just go for what’s on the surface. She’s asking herself “what kind of person is he on the inside?” The answer that you should have ready for her should be something that overpowers any resistance to your age, looks, height, weight, or anything else that is outside her normal “type.”

Women go for men who have what they want. That’s really what it boils down to:

Do you have what she wants?

Sure, some of them want you to be Brad Pitt (who is over 40, by the way. But, he’s perceived as youthful because he’s presented that way). But, they’ll gladly put aside good looks and age if you have everything else she’s been looking for.

With age comes many benefits. Experience, security, understanding, and social status are all byproducts of getting older. If you want to attract younger women, forget about the age difference and focus on the benefits that come from being older. But your actions must speak louder than words. You can’t just talk about being more experienced and mature than men her age. It has to be seen to be believed.

If you have to tell her, then you’re not doing it right.

You have to start asking yourself, “What are the qualities that make me attractive, despite my age?” And, honestly, if I were you, I’d even drop that last part about your age. Just ask yourself, why would anyone, regardless of how old she is, want to be dating you?

I can promise you this: if you have attractive qualities that make you desirable to women in general, then you definitely have qualities that younger women will also find attractive. While the mindset of a woman does change as she gets older, they’re all still attracted to the fundamentals. Demonstrate to everyone around you that you’re the man they either want to be, or the man they want to be with.

Up to a certain point, you want to present yourself as youthfully masculine. Don’t get an earring and dye your hair blonde. Just take care of your body; eat right and exercise. Display healthiness, and you’ll be associated with youthfulness. Wear clothes that look good, and make you seem like you’ve opened up a copy of GQ Magazine in the past year.

You should be doing that no matter how old you are, but if you want to seem especially younger, you shouldn’t be the kind of guy who looks like he needs to relax at home after a hard day of work.

Engage in strenuous physical activity. Hit the gym, go hiking or ride a bike. Take dance classes. If you don’t feel old, you won’t look old. Besides, younger women don’t go for the stay-at-home types. They’re more likely to go for you if you’re bursting with energy.

If you’re clean-shaven or have a beard or a mustache, try trading it in for the “haven’t shaved in two days” stubble. Studies have shown that women find this look attractive. Again, it connotes a young, yet maturing appearance. It also demonstrates a little rebelliousness, especially in older men.

Remember, it’s all in service to the image she’ll make up in her head. In there, you need to seem youthful, energetic, strong, experience, able to take care of her and satisfy her. If you can conjure and cultivate the portrait of a capable man, the age difference will have little meaning.

2. Your Mindset

What you project as your image has its roots in what you’re thinking right now. Who do you believe yourself to be? What do you feel are the boundaries of your capabilities?

Let me ask you this: right now, do you feel like you can easily pick up a desirable 25 year old? Do you feel that you’re at a disadvantage because of your age?

Over the years, I’ve heard every excuse in the book, and I can tell you that there are almost as many 25 year old guys who don’t think they can get a 25 year old girl, as there are 45 year olds who think the same way.

It’s not your age; it’s your beliefs about your age that hold you back. As I pointed out earlier, getting older has its benefits. But what if you were to truly believe that your age isn’t something to hide? What if you were proud of how old you are?

Effective Approach Tactics

The most effective openers are ones that sneak under her radar and don’t sound like opening lines. (Remember, you don’t want to telegraph that you’re interested in her.)

Instead of opening with a question such as, “Hi, I’m Joe, what’s your name?” Or, “How are you doing tonight?”, try making a STATEMENT that includes some type of observation about her.

Example

“I can see you know how to have fun. Alright, you’re on the guest list for my next party.”

“Quick question. There’s this cool pair of jeans that I want to buy for a friend of mine. She’s around your size, but it’s hard to say, exactly. I’m just wondering, should I buy them a little bit bigger, or a little bit smaller? If the size is too big, I’m worried she might get a little bit offended…but if they’re too small, that might bum her out, y’know? Which would you prefer if someone bought you jeans that were a little bit too big, or a little too small?”

If this sounds like something trivial to ask a woman about, that’s sort of the point. What you start talking to her about is irrelevant, as long as it’s something original and compelling enough to make her reply.

The purpose of your opener, whether it’s a question, a statement, or a little story like the one above, is simply to be original and get her talking. Once she starts talking, you’ll find a way to interject and move the conversation onto a different topic. (You wouldn’t want to spend the next five minutes on a discussion about jeans, or how females have negative perceptions of their bodies, or whatever. The point of the story was to OPEN the conversation, nothing more.)

Next, you want to transition the conversation to a more interesting topic, one that also allows you to plant seeds about your positive qualities.

So, you use the “buying a pair of jeans opener,” and she says…

HER: I’d buy them a size too small, if anything. She can always return them if they don’t fit.

YOU: That’s true. I just know she’s been kind of self-conscious since her boyfriend broke up with her. I still can’t believe he dumped her over such a stupid reason…

HER: (curious now) Why? What happened?

YOU: Well, somehow he found out the password to her email account, and he checked her emails and found out that she’d been corresponding with her ex-boyfriend Mike. Mike was her high school sweetheart. They broke up years ago, and Mike has a wife and a kid now, but they stayed friends. Anyway, when her current boyfriend saw those emails, he flipped out and broke up with her.

HER: That’s terrible.

YOU: Some people just don’t get it. For me, I can’t be in a relationship unless I feel like I’m 100% trusted, and I can trust my girl completely. Trust and commitment are so important to me.

HER: Me too.

YOU: We have that in common, that’s good. So tell me…if you were dating a guy, and you found out the password to his email account, would you check it?

Now you’re engaged in a very compelling conversation. You’ve totally “reeled her in.” Once you feel enough has been said on this particular topic, transition to something else.

The point I’m making here is that talking about Relationship Dramas and Cheating are excellent topics for jump-starting a conversation with a woman.  (Or women, plural you can start a conversation with a group of girls this way, just as easily.) Women naturally love gossip, especially about cheating and screwed-up relationships, which is why these openers and topics work SO effectively.

Specific Age-Related Issues

Do you lie about your age, or tell the truth?

It’s best to tell the truth, but in my opinion, you don’t have to tell her your age straight away.

Women may want all the information on you immediately, but you don’t have a responsibility to tell her everything upfront and in the first few minutes, or even hours. Use intrigue, and reveal things about yourself over time.  If every time she hangs out with you, you reveal some new talent or hobby of yours, she’ll be endlessly curious and interested in knowing more about you. This is much more effective than reeling off your list of accomplishments and interests in the first thirty minutes you spend talking to her.

Women will often use standard job interview-type questions when they first meet a man—such as your age, your job, where you live, etc. It’s better to bypass this “Q&A” and engage women on a fun, more creative level. Stimulate that side of her, and don’t cater to her analytical and probing side—where she’s asking the questions, you’re trying to come up with the “right” answers, and she’s running it all through her mental computer and figuring out whether you’re the type of guy she should be interested in.

What do you do with her friends?

One problem you may face when dating younger women is that she may be less likely to introduce you to her friends and family. Some guys can get offended by this, and see this as a sign that the woman is putting limits on how serious she considers the relationship to be. The best approach is to focus on shaping and living in the “now” and enjoying the time you spend with her.

Older guys sometimes fall into the trap of thinking ahead too much, and getting too serious with any young woman that show them attention. It may take a while for a woman to picture herself in a long-term relationship with you, and if you try and force it too early, it can backfire. (When you put pressure on her to make a commitment, it always conveys a sense of urgency and desperation on your part—very unattractive qualities.) Many times, I’ve seen younger women think that a long-term relationship with an older guy just isn’t in the cards. But the more time they spend with the guy, the more their feelings change.

What about online dating?

I think that when you’re dealing with an age gap, meeting women face-to-face  is especially important because you can have a chance to have fun with her before she screens you based on age. But online dating is a good way to increase your exposure to women, and it can be a key part of a lifestyle that involves constantly interacting with new people. I recommend you incorporate online dating into your lifestyle.

You’re likely to get “hung up” on one particular woman, and put all your eggs in that basket, when she’s the only option on your radar. If you’re meeting women on your social scene, and regularly emailing and chatting with new women online, you’ll never feel that you NEED to make it happen with a certain girl. You’ve got a Plan B, a Plan C, and so on.

What are some more specifics on approaching and dating younger women?

One of the best naturals I ever met was 40 years old. He was the guy who would pick up a girl EVERY time we would go out, and often within minutes. He would roll into a club and he’d be kissing women before I got my first drink. Sometimes these were hot college girls, and he had bad teeth and was small, short and pretty skinny. But my God, he was dominant! He was cocky, bordering on arrogant. He could be pushy. He’d touch women long before most guys would think it was appropriate to do so. But it worked!

On the other hand, most older guys are limited by terrible imaginary rules about pickup and dating—like making physical contact with a woman you just met is wrong, or you shouldn’t  approach groups of younger women because they’ll only shut you out. Believe me, the list is endless for what I call “creative avoidance”—the silly justifications that men come up with, for not going after what they want.

Follow the standard rules of pickup. According to my method, these rules include:

  1. Approach first, think later
  2. Start touching straight away (not in a creepy way—find creative, subtle ways to establish body contact. This can be as simple as high-fiving her after you agree on something funny.)
  3. Look to move her to a different location pretty quickly (this could be another area of the bar)
  4. Escalate: physically, logistically, and by going for the “pull” or the phone number. (But save the heavy physical escalation for when you’re one-on-one with her.)
  5. Never be the typical “nice guy”; don’t act needy or timid
  6. Enjoy women. Don’t treat them as objects, have fun with them.

I want to reinforce the idea that pickup is easy.

Younger women are not that hard to meet and date. In fact, that young hottie you’ve got your eye on is eager to meet an older guy who brings value to their life, makes her feel safe and protected,  and takes her mind off the stresses and problems of her reality. Why shouldn’t that guy be you?

Putting Younger Women In “Pursuit Mode” By Dean Cortez

Does he REALLY like me…or is he just playing games, like he does with ALL his girls?

This is what should be running through her head while you tease and flirt with her. It makes her want to keep playing the game. Whenever she’s with a guy like this, she’ll want to look her best, and act her sexiest, in order to get the confirmation she craves.

The key is to NEVER give her total confirmation.

When a woman is attracted to you, she desperately wants to know if the feeling is mutual! (Remember what I told you earlier, about how men and women judge “success.”) You can work women into a frenzy this way…by NEVER letting the girl know that she’s “won.”

For this reason, you must never tell her how long you’ve wanted to ask her out, admit how attracted you are to her, or tell her how you think the two of you would be “great together.”

If these sound like winning romantic gestures, turn off your television, because you’ve been watching too manyHollywoodmovies. Only in the movies can the dork or the shy guy win over the hottest girl in school in the end because he makes some grand, romantic declaration.

In reality, it’s more likely that she’ll regard this as weakness on your part. (And remember how I said emotional STRENGTH is one of the big keys to attraction.)  Nine times out of ten, your “confession” isn’t going to prompt her to confess her own attraction to you. It will only take you down a notch in her eyes. You are no longer an original; you are just another guy who can’t control his emotions or his libido.

Play it cool and act like nothing fazes you. You’re a train moving full-steam ahead. The choice is hers: she can climb onboard and take an exciting ride, or you can roll without her to the next stop. Either way, you’re an independent guy, doing your own thing.

Another advantage of using the Tactics I teach is that if you use the right conversational techniques and “build the bridge” (as I explain in detail in the “Ultimate Edition” book), it will become clear whether she is interested in you on a sexual level. You won’t be shooting in the dark, worrying that she’ll freak out if you try to touch her.

When you follow the correct progression of steps, escalating from conversation to physical touching, you’ll never have to wonder whether she “likes you as a friend” or whether she’s interested in more. You’ll know how to read her signals, and your Tactics will be gently leading her down the path to “yes”…instead of giving her reasons to say “oh, look at the time…I should be getting home soon.”

Evaporate the physical boundaries between you by making body contact with her. The best times to do so are when you’re both laughing. Reach over and give her a knee a light touch. High-five her and interlace your fingers with her, then disengage. What you’re doing is acclimating her to your touch, so that it becomes something she is comfortable with. This way, later in the night when you hold her hand, kiss her for the first time, or initiate the foreplay that leads to sex, she’s already “warmed up” to your touch.

Guys will often fail to escalate because they don’t want to be seen as too aggressive. (It’s just an excuse, really, for not wanting to risk rejection and they’re not confident that she will agree to the escalation, because they haven’t laid the right groundwork.)

If you’ve laid the groundwork, made her physically comfortable with you, and built up her attraction by framing yourself as a hard-to-get “prize,” she’ll be receptive when you take things to the next level. But it’s on you to lead her there.

I remember one time having a girl sleep over at my house, in my bed, and I didn’t “try anything” because I didn’t want to screw it up. We lay there together and talked for hours, then she drifted off to sleep while I laid next to her all night with a hard-on. I figured there was no hurry, and that if I acted like a gentleman she’d trust me and we’d have sex next time.

Unfortunately, there was no “next time.”  She never called me again. By not escalating with her, she viewed me as a Wuss, and she may have even felt a little bit insulted. She’s an intelligent, sexually experienced adult. She knew what was supposed to follow when she willingly climbed into my bed and laid down next to me. But I failed to lead her down that path.

The key is to BUILD UP to intimacy and sex with a progression of steps. Perhaps the biggest mistake that guys make is trying to seduce women before the groundwork has been laid. You don’t ask a girl out on a date before you’ve spent time chatting with her and getting her interested in you. Likewise, you shouldn’t go for a kiss when you haven’t even laid a finger on her all night. You build up to the first kiss by making contact with her throughout the evening: touching her leg while you tell a story; giving her a brief hand massage; brushing her hair back from her eyes; placing your hand on the small of her back as you guide her through a door…etc.

(The small of her back is actually a GREAT spot to make contact with. It’s an erogenous zone that is dense with nerve endings.)

If there is a mutual attraction, let her be the one to express her feelings to YOU, and when she does, play it even more cool. If she says something that implies she likes you and wants to date you, give a vague response that strings her along.

HER: “So what you do you think…y’know, about you and me?”

YOU:  “I’ve enjoyed spending time with you. Let’s just take it slow and see where it goes…no pressure, no expectations.”

(The more you seem like you don’t really give a shit either way, the more DESPERATELY she’ll want you to validate her feelings!)

But don’t give her that validation. Keep her wondering: will she ever be able to have you all for herself, or will you be with another girl tomorrow when she’s waiting for your phone call?

She’ll want to keep earning points with you, to get the confirmation that she desires. In the meantime, you are the one holding the cards.