“You just missed a major catfight over by the bathrooms. Two girls were going at it. Hair pulling, scratching, it was nasty…I bet you five bucks it was over some guy.”
OK, now here’s an example of a good Qualifier that implies you’re trying to determine whether she’s worthy of your attention.
(Remember, the concept behind “Qualifying” questions and statements is that you are the one passing judgment…not her…because you’re a guy with a lot of options.)
“You seem like someone who doesn’t take herself too seriously—you work hard, but you play hard, too.”
She will almost agree with this. (If by some chance she says “no,” then you know right off the bat this chick probably isn’t much fun.)
If she says “yes,” you’re now going to REWARD her. You’re going to imply that maybe she’s cool enough to enter your circle.
Tell her, “That’s good to know, because I can’t be around uptight people.”
There are all types of ways to test her, tease her, and make her QUALIFY herself to you. This mentality is completely different from how 90% of men interact with women. The average guy is worried the whole time about being cool enough to be in HER circle.
Remember, the larger the space that you create from pushing, the more space there is for you to pull her back towards you. This makes your rewards more emotionally intense and pleasurable.
Let’s say you work at a company, and you have a subordinate who is always kissing your ass and telling you how great you are at your job. This wouldn’t give you any emotional high. In fact, it would probably get annoying. But now let’s say you’ve got a boss who holds your work to extremely high standards, and is almost impossible to please. If you receive a compliment from him, you feel elated.
And, like a hit from a drug, you’ll want to experience that feeling again. You’ll be motivated to work extra hard, in order to get more validation from your critical boss…and because you’d hate to disappoint him.
When you cast yourself in the “boss” role with women…when they feel the need to meet your standards…you’re winning the game. You’re in control.
On the flip side, when YOU are obviously trying to impress HER, what you’re really admitting is that you know she’s not impressed with you yet.
Instead, assume she is impressed with you. Now it’s up to her to demonstrate she is on your level.
Some other “tests” to throw her way:
“I don’t know if you can handle a guy like me. Are you a spontaneous, adventurous type of person?”
If she says she is spontaneous, reward her by saying something, ”That’s cool. There are still some things I want to find out about you, but so far, so good.”
If she is reluctant to say yes, or says “it depends,” then here’s a way to push her (and have some fun):
“So on a scale of 1-10, how adventurous would you say you are?”
She’ll probably give an answer in the 6-8 range. Now, knock her down a peg. If she says “7,” say,
“Really? I would have figured you for a 6. Let me ask you a question. I find that women who are spontaneous are the best kissers. Would you say you’re a good kisser?”
If she says “yes” (which most women will), say “Good, because I have a policy from now on that I can only date women who know how to kiss. Doesn’t that suck—when you meet someone that you’re totally attracted to, but then when you kiss them for the first time, they’re terrible at it?
The “good kisser” question might sound too forward with a girl you just met five minutes ago, but it isn’t if you’ve already gotten her to agree that she is spontaneous and adventurous.
Once you’ve gotten her to verbally commit to being a certain type of girl, she is going to try to be consistent with this behavior. It’s a quirk of human nature. This is a compliance tactic that sales professionals use: get the customer to verbally commit to being something.
For example, the salesmen on the car lot might say to his prospect: “Mr. Johnson, I can tell you’re a man who appreciates the finer things, and you know a luxury vehicle can be worth every penny. Am I right?”
Once Mr. Johnson agrees—yes, he’s that type of guy he’s more likely to be receptive to the expensive vehicles that the salesman shows to him. The customer wants to be consistent with the label that has been applied to him.
When you apply labels to women, and get them to agree, they’ll want to be consistent with that label. This makes it easier for you to make them comply with your suggestions.
Examples of labels you’ll want her to agree to:
- Spontaneous
- Adventurous
- Up for a challenge
- Naughty (she has a “bad girl” side)
- Trusting and sincere
- The life of the party
- Classy & sophisticated
- Deep and spiritual
It’s also cool to establish that you’ve got one of these qualities in common with her: “That’s awesome that you’re always up for a challenge. I’m the exact same way. I thrive off of challenges, which I why I’m so into achieving this goal right now…” (transition into a discussion about a goal of yours, and then talk to her about her goals).
Or, you might say to the girl you’ve labeled as “spontaneous”: “This bar is cool, but the energy is kind of low tonight. I’m in the mood for something fun, something different. I know you’re Miss Spontaneous, and you’re always up for an adventure—so c’mon, let’s try this other place…”
Take her from environment A (where you met her), and to a completely different environment (a different bar or club), and now the two of you are basically on your first date. You’re not just some random, ordinary guy she met in a bar twenty minutes ago…you’re her partner on an adventure tonight.
You can also use this label when it’s time to arrange your next meet with her. For example, you say to her on the phone: “Sarah, I know you’re a sophisticated, classy girl you told me so—so I know you’re going to love this art gallery opening I’m going to on Friday night. Why don’t you come with me, meet me at my house at seven and we’ll roll together.”
