Guys in their 40 and 50s tend to have a harder time conceptualizing that they can be successful with younger women online. Age and experience, however, can be hugeassets that you use to your advantage.

For starters, stop viewing your age as a vulnerability, and don’t bother trying to hide (or fudge) the truth. Assuming you are truthful in your profile, your age is going to be listed right there for women to see.

Sure, a lot of guys will shave a few years off their actual age, but eventually you’ve got to meet these women in person and if you’re obviously way older than you claimed to be, she is going to automatically deem you untrustworthy.)

I’ve helped many guys to become more successful with dating younger women. Personally, I don’t date women over the age of 25, and with these methods I’ve managed to get up to 10 dates a week with beautiful women on a recurring basis.

I’ve also had the chance to experience firsthand some of the most common obstacles that older men face when using online dating. I’ve been fortunate to get really good at overcoming these obstacles, and other guys have asked me how to overcome these challenges.

This is why I’ve put this special report together: to help guys like us get over these obstacles easily, and find success in online dating—no matter what you want to get out of it.

Continuation…Part 2.

Click here for Part 1

Obstacle #4:

You don’t know what to write in an email, and you worry about what a girl is going to feel when she reads your emails.

Guys who are new to online dating often ask themselves: “What can I tell a girl about myself that will make her really interested in me?” Another question I hear a lot from older guys is, “should I explain why I’m contacting her, even though I’m out of her age range?”

The answer might surprise you: tell her nothing!

Don’t try to convince a girl to like you by telling her about your strengths and attributes. Don’t try to dazzle her with your personal “resume.” What you should do is convey the characteristics that generate attraction in a woman, through story telling and banter.

The qualities you want to convey are:

Confidence. Assume she is already attracted to you, and will definitely want to respond to your email. Don’t write things like, “I hope you’ll like my profile” or “or please write me back,” or end your email with, “eagerly waiting your response.” Assume that she is going to dig you, and the only thing left to figure out will be the logistics of your first meet.

Humor. If you can make a girl laugh, you’re way ahead of most guys. I’ve seen girls communicating, dating and sleeping with guys who have red flags saying “DO NOT date this guy!” splattered all over them—only because they were really funny, and know how to make a woman loosen up and laugh.

Now, when I say humor, I don’t mean that you need to include jokes in your email. I’m talking about playful humor—teasing the girl, making light fun of her.

For example, sometimes girls will accidentally email me their same first reply twice, because they clicked the “send” button twice. I’ll accuse them of being in love with me, and playfully ask them if they have any stalker tendencies. I make sure to let them know that I’m kidding, and that I’m teasing them, but of course they’ll write me back to deny it…and the correspondence is now moving ahead.

Sophistication. Older men can definitely use this quality to their advantage, and to show women that they can add a lot of social value to their lives. You’ve been around, you know cool places to go, you do cool things, etc…this gives you a huge advantage over the younger guys, who mostly just joke around and talk about insignificant things (i.e. how wasted they got with their “bros” at the bar last night).

Obstacle #5:

Online dating is frustrating, because you’re not getting any quality responses. You’re ready to give up…

First, let me say that I’ve been there. I know what it’s like to try and try, and not see any results. But there is hope for you, and this hope comes in the form of “Detachment.”

Detachment from results is one of the most important things you can do when learning a new skill.

This applies to learning skills with women as well, both online and offline as well. At least for a while, until you get really good at this, I want you to imagine that you’re simply playing a video game.

It takes a lot of practice, and trial and error, to master most video games. But every time you don’t win, you learn some more about how to beat the game or the level you’ve been stuck on.

Do you break down and get emotional when something bad happens to you in a video game? No, you just hit “restart” and play it again. Hopefully, you also learn something from your mistake and try not to do it again. It’s the same with online dating.

If you’re going for young high-quality women, you will get ignored and shot down. You will get occasional rude responses, and you will have girls try to mess with you. You will even have girls flake out on you and not show up to dates (once you get good at this, this will happen very infrequently, but it does happen).

Sometimes it will sting—like when you think things are going well, and suddenly a girl stops communicating with you. But you’ve gotta get back to the game, and play another round.

Remember that word: DETACHMENT. If you have to print it out and stick it on your bathroom mirror, or read it out loud to yourself every day, then do it. This is really important.

Obstacle #6:

I’m getting girls to go on dates with me, but we always end up just being “friends.” (Her suggestion, not mine!) How do I get a girl to come home with me?

Most guys think that they need some elaborate plan or scheme to get a girl to get physical with them, or come home with them after a date, but this is not true.

When you suggest that she comes to your place, you need to do it in a casual way that doesn’t even imply any physical contact. The best way to do it is to throw in some “anti-intimate” phrases that will make her feel a little bit confused about your intentions.

The groundwork for “closing the deal” (getting intimate with her back at your pad) should be laid during the date. When you talk about a subject during the date (I always talk about my dogs), you can use that later as a way to get her over (I’ll say, “come by and see my dogs, they’d love to meet you”). But here is the critical part: you always need to add a “de-sexifier” (yes, I invented that word) to make the invite seem innocent.

A good de-sexifier to tack on is, “…but you can’t stay for long, because I have to get up early tomorrow.” Attractive women usually have guys beg them to come over and stay for as long as they can, but by using that line, you’re throwing off her defense mechanism and making her feel you are different from the other guys, who are obviously hoping to get her to spend the night.

Another great de-sexifier one that should be used only if the vibe is right—is saying, “you can come over for a little while, but I’m not going to put out, so don’t get your hopes up…”

This is actually a sentence I stole from a girl who used it on me when I was learning this stuff. You will most likely get your arm punched, but inside, the girl is already going to be thinking of what it’s like being intimate with you.

In the meantime, good luck. Take the correct approach, and maintain the right attitude, and beautiful younger women are well within your grasp. There are literally millions of them online right now, as we speak so what are you waiting for?

A few months ago, I was at a media conference north of San Francisco, in wine country. I wound up hanging out with a really cool 22-year-old college student fromPhiladelphia.

She was super smart, hot, and had a great sense of humor. We sat together during meal breaks, attended many seminars together, and were constantly flirting with each other.

It seemed like every time I turned around, another guy would be hitting on her. No problem, I figured I’ve dealt with plenty of cock blockers before, and was able to easily hold her interest. Things were going great.

After a couple of days of flirting, some fun late-night drinking, and making out in my hotel room, I was happy. There was one problem, however: there was one cock blocker who was getting a lot of attention from her. He was an older professor-type in his late 50s with a charming, easygoing manner. He’d get her laughing about something, and the next thing I knew he’d have his arm around her.

At this point, most guys would feel threatened and try to keep her as far as way from the other guy as possible. Instead, I thought I’d better cozy up to him and find out why, exactly, she was so receptive to him.

I joined their next conversation, and it turned out that this guy was amazing. He reminded me of the actor Dennis Hopper.

He had a wicked sense of humor and had an endless reservoir of fascinating stories.

He talked about interesting political stories from the 1960’s, travel stories of amazing places, hilarious stories of doing LSD, and much more. He had no fear at all, and was completely open about his life and experiences.

Luckily, the guy didn’t succeed at banging this chick. I managed to have her sleep in my bed a couple of nights, and seal our connection.

But I mention this guy as an example of someone who was fairly “old,” and yet had a remarkable effect on women. If my game wasn’t as strong as it is, I have no doubt he could have snatched her out from under me.

I’m not the slickest guy in the world with women, but I had a very strong connection with this girl and we spent a lot of time together.

For this guy to get her so interested, and open to him, was quite a feat. I actually came to view the other guy as a model for how I want to interact with women when I reach that age able to not only build authentic connections with women who are decades younger, but to make them feel genuine sexual attraction. Click here for tips on how to date young girls.

Guys in their 40 and 50s tend to have a harder time conceptualizing that they can be successful with younger women online. Age and experience, however, can be huge assets that you use to your advantage.

For starters, stop viewing your age as a vulnerability, and don’t bother trying to hide (or fudge) the truth. Assuming you are truthful in your profile, your age is going to be listed right there for women to see.

Sure, a lot of guys will shave a few years off their actual age, but eventually you’ve got to meet these women in person and if you’re obviously way older than you claimed to be, she is going to automatically deem you untrustworthy.)

I’ve helped many guys to become more successful with dating younger women. Personally, I don’t date women over the age of 25, and with these methods I’ve managed to get up to 10 dates a week with beautiful women on a recurring basis.

I’ve also had the chance to experience firsthand some of the most common obstacles that older men face when using online dating. I’ve been fortunate to get really good at overcoming these obstacles, and other guys have asked me how to overcome these challenges.

This is why I’ve put this special report together: to help guys like us get over these obstacles easily, and find success in online dating—no matter what you want to get out of it.

Obstacle #1:

You mention your age in an email, and she doesn’t respond.

I hate to say this, but age is an issue for some girls. This is probably one of the most common issues older guys face when trying online dating, since you’ve got to try to communicate your personality through your profile, and cleverly written emails.

If you’d met this same girl while you were out shopping on a Sunday afternoon, she might be immediately interested in your personality, your style, etc. But when you’re attempting to meet women online, she has a lot less information to go on—and more reasons to hit the “delete” button, simply because she has preconceived notions about the age range she thinks she is interested in.

Still, there are right ways, and wrong ways, to handle this. I’ve seen cases in which guys apologized for being older, as if mentioning their age as a reason for women to reject them. Bad, bad move.

Women (both offline and online) are interpretive creatures. Everything you say gets filtered through her mental computer, and if you make something into an issue, it will become an issue for her as well.

Why bring up anything that will give her a reason to doubt or reject you? She can see your profile, and if she doesn’t like it, she won’t respond (and there are ways to overcome that, too)…but if she does like what you have to say, you’ll be in the door, even if you’re 20 or 30 years older than her.

Obstacle #2:

You email a girl and she doesn’t respond to your email.

This is one of the most common issues guys face when they first get started with online dating, and it causes some men to throw in the towel far too prematurely. There are several reasons why this could happen:

1. The girl is simply unavailable: she met someone and forgot to remove her profile from the dating site. You can easily overcome this by using a search filtered by “last date active.” Girls who haven’t been active for a while (usually over a week) are most likely less available then girls who are still active every day.

2. The girl is not in town/too busy/abducted by aliens/etc. Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing. She might not have enough time to reply, or she isn’t around to answer your email. In this case, don’t be a baby and start harassing her with emails asking why she didn’t answer your email, and why she’s ignoring you. Just wait for a while, and if you see that she’s been active lately on the site, email her one more time.

3. The girl didn’t see your email: attractive women usually get bombarded with emails when they sign up for an online dating service. They may get overwhelmed, and don’t take the time to sort through all the emails they get.

Who can blame them? What you can do is, stand out with your emails by using a catchy subject line. For example, using the “matrix approach” I talk about in my ebook “Internet Dating Secrets Revealed!”, scan through her profile and target something that she says is important to her.

Then, when you write to her, put a “challenge” in the subject line. If she says she likes Mexican food, you write “I can’t believe you like Mexican food…”

She’ll notice the subject of your email because it will stand out from all the “I want to meet you” or “hello beautiful” emails she gets. She’ll glance at the subject line and think, “what’s wrong with me liking Mexican food? Why is this guy challenging me?”

Attractive women are used to men supplicating to them and saying stuff like “you like Mexican food? I like it too!” just to try to get her to like them. By challenging her, you are separating yourself from the pack. She will then read the email to see what you have to say. You don’t need to mention Mexican food ever again. Just use that tactic to pique her curiosity and get the correspondence started.

Obstacle #3:

You want to get good at online dating, but you don’t feel ready yet to email the REALLY attractive young women. 

This is another common scenario. You figure there is a “learning curve” with online dating, so you’re better off trying to correspond with the more “regular” girls before you try for the gold.

It’s true that online dating excellence is a skill. This is especially true if you are trying to date women who are much younger than you, and have a lot of options. Depending on your level of “game,” you might need some practice and trial and error in order to develop a level of skill that will allow you to meet younger women of exceptional quality. And there’s nothing wrong with taking this attitude.

Once you spend enough time on a dating site, you will start seeing the same faces over and over again. You’ll start to notice the “regulars” but perhaps you don’t want to burn out your options too soon (especially in smaller towns), when you don’t feel you have the skills down yet. In this case, a great method to use, that allows you to build stock material and get some practice, is “moving.”

No, I don’t mean that you need to physically move to a new town. With a quick adjustment to your profile and a click of a mouse, you can change your location and then you have a totally new set of girls you can practice on. (Hey, who knows, you might even wind up traveling to meet a girl in another city if something interesting develops.)

I don’t recommend “moving” your location to major “player” cities likeLos AngelesorNew York. I suggest trying this tactic in smaller, less “sophisticated” cities and practice there. If you do want an advanced class in online pick up, then Los AngelesandNew Yorkare hotbeds for attractive younger women but expect a lot of competition. Click here for more tips and tactics.

Women love paradoxical guys. Women crave men who are complicated and mysterious, not simple and easy to figure out. To start, answer these questions: What is it that women would not expect about you? How are you paradoxical?

Every man reading this is paradoxical at some level. You have the ability to portray many different aspects of your personality at one time. You do this by sharing and revealing different points of view that you hold, sharing unique stories, and showing that you, in your own way, are paradoxical.

Show a woman that:

• You are a gentleman and a “bad” boy at the same time.
• You are sexual and trustworthy at the same time.
• You’re ambitious and focused, but also know how to cut loose and party.
• You can be hot and cold: giving her your undivided attention, then being unavailable when she wants to see you or talk to you on the phone.
• You can be both edgy and sweet.
• You can be emotionally available and emotionally turbulent at the same time.
• You can be dramatic and serious, and also silly and playful.
• You’re a funny guy who doesn’t take life too seriously, but you can also talk about deep, introspective topics.

You can accomplish this through telling stories and sharing details of your life that highlight different aspects of your personality—especially things about yourself that a woman will not expect.

Be Emotional

We all know that women love, and bond through, emotions. Emotions are like your “artist’s palette” when you’re constructing conversations with women. It is emotional intensity that changes the tone and vibe of a conversation, and by subtly tweaking the emotional content, you can change the mood dramatically.

Learning to speak the language of women means using emotions in your stories, and in your conversations. You need to learn how to include EMOTIONAL CONTENT when asking questions and making statements.

Come up with stories from your life on the following topics:

• A time you felt frustrated or angry.
• A time you were really scared.
• A funny but embarrassing story.
• A story about a time you felt overwhelmed with excitement or joy.

You need to start utilizing emotional content to create a deeper sense of rapport with women. When you do so, they will feel more connected to you. When you don’t, women will feel that the conversation is more platonic and boring. Click here for more tips.

Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in dating science.  It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection.

Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level; that is, I can’t convince you how to think or look at life differently.  Only you can do that.  However, I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.

Attracting Women And The Inner Game

To me, inner game problems boil down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. I’m going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.

Experience:

When people ask me how I developed the kind of “rock solid confidence” that allowed me to put myself out there on national TV, I always answer the same way: “Practice.”

When you think about what confidence actually is, you realize that it’s simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with.

It’s only when we’re thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women, simply because they don’t talk to women!

It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong.”

This is bullshit!  To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!

Think about it this way. When you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down?

Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having. Even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well, this is the same thing.

I remember before I took my bootcamp (taught by Tenmagnet), I wasn’t any good at meeting women. I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored.  The bootcamp put me on the right path, and I had the model of how things were supposed to go and had seen instructors doing it properly up close

But I still wouldn’t have made the most of things if I hadn’t gotten used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isn’t easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it.

Don’t get mad at her or yourself, don’t go home, just accept that it’s a completely normal and necessary part of the learning process. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

Mindset:

Most of us grew up in a society that implied a dual-concentric model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle, reality, through our inner circle, our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked, that our consciousness was independent of it… but recently this all changed.

We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is, reality exists inside our mind, and we create our own reality with our thoughts (or beliefs, if you’d rather).

What does this mean?

As far as any of us know, there may only be one reality: your own. Who is to say that I’m not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing out this entire article to send a message to you, from your subconscious mind. It’s possible.

The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don’t be one of them.

I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

“Think of it this way: what if, let’s say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play. He says this:”

“This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let’s say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be, anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these ‘beliefs.’ Think of it as your “console hack.”

“I’m sure you saw this coming, but this ‘game’ already exists and it’s called reality. You become who you believe you are.”

Sound a little like the Matrix? Well, that’s okay. Like I said, I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective, and this is simply how I believe reality works.

I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before:  I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women. I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home.

It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?

“The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is… to remember that you already are.”

Click here for more tips on dating younger women.

 

A good friend and former student of mine is 45 years old and regularly dates women in their early 20’s. He’s incredible now, but he wasn’t very good with women less than two years ago. He got to this point by going out a few days a week and practicing in bars, clubs, and during the day as well.

So, he was recently chatting with one of these women. She’s twenty years his junior, and he’d been seeing her for some time.   They were watching the show “Top Chef” on TV. One of the hosts, the stunning Padma Lakshmi, is a model and the former wife of Salmon Rushdie (a highly respected author who is seven years older than her father, and not exactly conventionally handsome).

The woman he was with commented that she couldn’t believe Lakshmi could marry someone so much older and uglier. “What do you mean?” he responded. “She’s just a pretty girl.  She was born pretty. He’s one of the world’s greatest living authors.”

What a fantastic answer!  An interesting look came over her face as she realized that his comment also had some bearing on their relationship.

Her world seems shiny and exciting from the outside. But as an older man, your world is actually so much more interesting and rich, with so much more to offer. Don’t even try to play the game of trying to compete in her world.  You’ll lose. Instead, let her discover your world and all the amazing things you have to offer.

Embrace the Age Difference

You may be wondering if you are too old for her, and you may find yourself wanting to convince her that you aren’t. Perhaps she’s even brought it up.

Instead of trying to convince her that you aren’t too old for her, you should embrace the age difference. Start questioning whether she is experienced enough for you.

My 45-year-old friend is excellent at embracing the age difference.   He’ll ask the women whether they’ve seen “Midnight Cowboy,” “Mean Streets,” and “The Graduate,” three edgy classics from the golden age of American cinema, the late 60’s and early 70’s.

When she says no, he shakes his head and laments, “You need me, sistah. You realize that, right?  Now, I have to figure out if I need you.” These movies are in his DVD collection, so this sets up a nice movie night with take-out at his place.

He will also ask them about other experiences, like travel, restaurants, and books.  But when he “asks,” he’s really challenging her, because at her age there is no way she could have as many interesting experiences as he.

Make Her Feel Special

One of the challenges of dating someone who lives in such a different world than yours is being able to appreciate her. Sure, she looks sexy, and she’d certainly be a blast in bed, but how do you connect with a girl who lives in such a different world?

Well, how do you connect with anyone?   Building a connection with a woman comes down to making her feel special, making her feel valued, making her feel unique different than every other girl in the world.

And you don’t do this by showering her with compliments from the start. When you first meet a woman, particularly a younger one, you can’t act completely won over by her within the first minute.You want to be interested, but a little bit aloof, and gradually show more interest as she qualifies herself to you. Notice I said that she is qualifying herself to you.

You shouldn’t be sitting there talking on and on and on about everything in your life.  This will only show how badly you want to impress her. And trust me, she won’t be impressed.

The idea is to get her talking. Remember, it’s how you make her feel about herself, rather than how you make her feel about you. All it takes is a bit of genuine interest to make her feel like you’ve really gotten to know her.

But how can you possibly relate to someone so young, someone who lives in another world than you?   On top of that, how can you relate when you, as an older man, have so much to offer her, so much experience, so many great things that will be difficult for her match?

The answer is that no matter where you are in life, we all share commonalities.   We all have struggles and hopes and fears. We all feel joy and sadness.

Connect with her on the emotion. Open yourself up to her as well on an emotional level.  While commonalities can certainly help to build friendships, you celebrate the differences with your friends and learn from other people because of those differences.

The same holds true with younger women. You can learn so much from each other, if you can learn to connect on an emotional level.

Be Willing To Suck At This At the Beginning…

I coach a lot of younger guys as well as older guys. Sometimes I think to myself, “Oh man, I wish I’d learned to do this stuff in college!”

But being a little bit older has its advantages. There are certain advantages to having lived a little longer, to having been around the block once or twice.

I know how to motivate myself.  I have so much knowledge, insight and experience at my disposal that I didn’t have twenty years ago.

That experience makes my learning in the realm of women all that much richer and enjoyable. It takes a little bit of practice to get good at it.

You may not be successful the first few times you do it. You may think to yourself, “I’m good at so many things, why aren’t I good at this?”

But you know as well as I do: getting good at something you are not good at requires ACCEPTANCE that you aren’t good at it.

If you want to learn to play the drums, you have to be willing to sit in front of that drum kit and be all thumbs for a while until you get a feel for it.

The pain and struggle starts to become less and less, and the fun and creative expression starts to increase, the more you practice.

You won’t be a genius at this at first. And that’s okay. But keep working at it, and pretty soon you will have those hot young women in your life.

Click here for more tips on how to date younger girls.

Tell Great Stories.

A boring older guy will never be able to attract younger women. To connect with a younger woman, you will need to reveal personal information about yourself and reveal it in an interesting manner.

So what’s the key to telling interesting stories? I suggest you  actually sit down and think about your life, and write down some of the more interesting experiences you’ve had. Be detailed. What lessons did you learn? How did they change your view of the world, and of yourself? Or perhaps there wasn’t any “moral” to the story…it was just a fun, crazy experience that women will enjoy hearing about.

Once you’ve worked on your stories, find ways to use them in conversations with women. A good story will hook her interest. These are just a few examples (and you can come up with your own):

• An interesting place you have been to recently
• The most fascinating person you’ve ever met
• What you would like to do when you get older
• What you would like to learn in the future
• A frightening experience you had when you were young
• A person you like to spend time with
• The most exciting, heart-pounding experience you ever had
• A favorite pet you had as a child
• A place you would like to visit in the future
• A person you hope to meet some day
• A person who has influenced your life
• Something you have never done, but would like to do
• Something you have done, but never want to do again
• An experience which made you laugh uncontrollably
• An experience which made you cry
• What you would do if you were President of your country

Get Lucky

I know this probably sounds like a major oversimplification, to tell you to “get lucky.” Isn’t this about learning specific skills? Yes, meeting younger women is about learning a set of skills. But don’t ever forget that luck is a part of it.

Sometimes you go out, all the stars in the universe align, and you just seem to get lucky. You meet a woman and the conversation flows as if you’re two old friends who have been reunited.

Or you go to a bar, make contact with a woman, and you effortlessly hook up with her. (Actually, there was effort involved you had to show up, open your mouth, and take some risks.)

There’s always some degree of luck involved. The good news is that to a large degree, you can create your own luck. I remember once having a conversation with a very famous actor, and I asked him whether success in Hollywood was about being “in the right place, at the right time.”

He explained to me that in the early years of his career, he hustled relentlessly for acting gigs. He attended every audition and networking opportunity he possibly could.

He believed that if he was everywhere all the time, eventually he’d find himself in the right situation to capitalize on an opportunity. And that’s exactly what happened.

Naturally, when he became a big star, those were who jealous of his success attributed it to “luck.”  But in reality, it’s like the quote says: Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.

I see a lot of guys either taking no action and complaining about their lack of “luck” with women, or they go out and feel like they have to try super hard to meet women. Well, neither approach works so well with meeting younger women. Doing nothing obviously produces no results. On the other hand, when you are obviously trying super hard with younger women, you give off a needy, high-strung vibe that women find repellent.

Going out with a relaxed attitude, and an openness to whatever comes your way, is the ultimate mindset. The other essential component is knowing in your gut that sometimes you will lucky, and sometimes you won’t. Either way, we say go out anyway and work on meeting and scoring with younger women.

Get Into Her Reality.

This shouldn’t come as a shocker to you, but the reality is that younger women are generally bored shitless by how most men talk to them. Most guys do not, in fact, relate to women at all. They talk about topics women, and especially younger women, could care less about. They talk about their jobs, their computers, car, sports, and technical and mechanical topics that just end up turning off women completely.

What do women care about? In a nutshell, they care about emotions, travel, unusual topics, psychology, what makes people tick, and most of all, THEMSELVES. So, your job is to get into her world as much as possible and ask the sorts of questions that will encourage her to reveal herself to you.

The mistake happens when you, the man, ask too many questions and do not reveal anything about yourself. The conversation becomes too one-sided and feels more like an interrogation than a dialogue. Remember, a conversation is two-way street. When you share something about yourself, you should shift the focus back the other way and learn something about her.

As you converse with younger women, slip outside of your normal perspective and get into her reality. Learn about how she views life, what she deeply cares about, her likes and dislikes, her dreams, her aspirations, and her fantasies.

Ask Amazing Questions

As an older guy, it’s especially important to understand the art of building rapport, and how to elicit and talk about interesting material. If not, you are sunk. This is one of the critical areas that separate the men from the boys.

As I mentioned earlier, most guys approach women in extremely boring and predictable ways. They ask cliché, uninspiring questions. You need to find ways to ask her questions that challenge her to think in new ways. At the same time, asking amazing questions can create a fun atmosphere.

Here are a few different types of questions that you can ask a woman to create great connections. These are not the most slick or sexual questions you can ask a woman (you shouldn’t be asking those sorts of questions until after you’ve hooked her interest, anyway). But these questions will give you some general ideas about generating interesting conversations:

Interesting Personal questions…

• Do you have any phobias?

• Tell me three things you like about yourself.
• If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick?
• What do you consider to be the most valuable thing you own— maybe not in terms of its price, but its personal value to you?

• If someone made a movie about your life, what would they call it?
• If you were in the “MissAmerica” talent competition, what would your talent be?

 Personal, Playful and fun Questions…

• You have complete access to your city for 24 hours. It’s April Fool’s Day. What prank would you pull off?
• If you could steal one thing and get away with it, what would it be?
• What is the stupidest pickup line a guy has ever used on you?
• If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do?
• What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it.
• What’s one thing about you that people would be surprised to know?

Personal, deep questions…

• If you won the lottery tomorrow, and never had to work another day in your life, how would you spend your time?
• If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want, and why?
• What’s the kindest act you have ever experienced (something  you did for someone, or something they did for you)?
• What person has influenced your life the most? Why?
• Did you ever have a really important turning point in your life?
• What scares you the most?
• If you could ask God a question, what would it be?
• What’s the most important thing to you in life?

Clarification Questions…

As she talks and reveals things to you, you should keep the momentum moving along by asking “clarifying questions.” These give her the sense that you’re listening attentively and are sincerely interested. They also encourage her to keep talking and revealing.

•    What do you mean by ______?

•    Why do you think that’s true?

•    What are your reasons for saying that?

•    Why did you say that?

•    Where did you get this idea?

•    Have you always felt this way?

 Click here for more tips on how to date young women.

This is not a complete list, but a very basic one so you can easily memorize it. Here are the top 5 topics you can use in any conversation with a woman to create a connection: 

1. Travel/vacations

2. Food

3. Fashion/clothing

4. Movies, books, forms of drama

5. Celebrities, people in the news, current events

Talk about your job in an interesting way.

This is such an important detail that it requires its own heading. When you meet anyone for the first time you will inevitably talk about what you do for a living.

If you talk about what you do in a lame and boring way, you will immediately turn her off. Furthermore, how you talk about your job tells her a TON about you.

Let’s say you have a pretty standard job, like you’re an accountant or a computer programmer.

Both of these careers, on the surface, are not too thrilling to talk about. (Actually, there aren’t that many jobs/careers outside of being a rock star or professional athlete that women do find incredibly compelling and interesting.)

This means that rather than talk about the details of what you do (or even worse, how much you dislike what you do), you can come up with interesting and funny stories about weird people you work with, or unusual experiences you’ve had at your job.

For example, if you’re an accountant, the pressures of tax season are not interesting, but the story of your day trader client who lost a million bucks and fled to Mexicois interesting.

Or a story about how you saved a single mother with four kids a ton of money, and helped her out by doing her taxes for free. (That’s interesting, and demonstrates what a great guy you are.)

Or, maybe there’s some wild office gossip or something hilarious that happened at last year’s company Christmas party that you can share with her.

If your job is fairly interesting maybe you’re a police officer, a writer, or a musician it’s the stories and experiences that women will find fascinating, not the mundane details.

A writer like myself, for example, can talk about the pressures of deadlines and how I’ve been chained to my computer for days or, I can tell women about the most interesting celebrity I’ve ever interviewed, or the craziest night I ever had in New York City when I visited there on a book promotion tour.

You should have work-related stories that convey suspense, intensity, drama, and moments of humor. Invest the time to come up with stories about your job, practice telling then out loud, and then try them out on women.

And Most Importantly, Talk to A TON Of Younger Women…

I don’t need to tell you that finding amazing women is, to a certain extent, a numbers game. If you talk to enough women you will find some really hot and interesting ones, but you must go out and talk to a ton of them to find the special few you “click” with.

There are other reasons to have this wide variety of interactions and experiences. You need the practice, first of all. And more  importantly, you can’t expect to just get lucky.

You will occasionally get shot down, or screw things up. It will take some time and practice to score that beautiful younger woman you’ve been picturing in your head, and as with any skill, the more you work on it the better, and more confident, you will become.  Click here for more tips on how to date young chicks.

The number one barrier that older guys face with younger women is fear: fear of rejection, fear of being seen as a dirty old man, fear of women thinking they are creeps, and fear of women in general.

Fear is about your brain telling you to watch out for danger. Your heart starts pounding fast and hard, your brain goes on overdrive, and you can’t think straight. Some guys even feel nauseous, or freeze dead in their tracks when they feel a wave of fear. And the even worse news is that fear is like an untrained dog: the more you let it shit on the carpet or ignore your commands, the more it will run the show.

In essence, every time you buy into your fear and avoid approaching and talking to women, fear wins out and runs your life just a little more. Conversely, every time you challenge your fear and act in spite of it, it shrinks.

The only way to conquer your fear of approaching younger women is to get out there and start doing it. I recommend you start doing it slowly, over time. Go to a mall on a Saturday and say “hi” to 10 women, and see how it goes. From there, start using the skills we cover in article and build up your confidence.

“Just do it” is not an empty slogan; it’s a reality. You simply have to do this, or you will get a younger woman.

They’ll Disqualify Me Because Of My Age

Another bullshit excuse that older guys use to deny themselves the opportunity to meet younger women is holding the belief that younger women won’t like them, be interested in them, or even want to talk to them because of the age difference.

Here’s the bottom line: some younger chicks won’t dig you. But  guess what: even if you were a buff 24-year-old rock star, some chicks wouldn’t like you, either.

That said, here are the statistics that I’ve seen out in the dating scene. Roughly 25-30% of younger chicks will not be interested at all in dating an older man period. 10-15% really WANT to date an older guy and will find it hot and interesting.

The rest of the women, the remaining 50-60%, are somewhat to very open to dating an older guy. Those are pretty decent numbers for you, and armed with the skills in this book you’ll be set to find the women who are open to you.

The rest can fall by the wayside.  It is complete bullshit that most younger women will rule you out because of your age. Some will, but I believe most won’t as long as project the right attitude, and put the correct skills into action.

I Have Nothing To Talk About…

Later in this article we’re going to teach you a wide range of topics to talk to women about. If you’ve ever found yourself going  “blank” when you talk to women, you need to work on your conversational skills ASAP! The number one thing you bring to the table with younger women, along with life experience, is your conversational skills. Without them, you will be a dismal failure.

The good news is that you can indeed learn these skills, and with a little work you will be above the pack in no time.

They’ll Think I’m A Dirty Old Man.

This is another crippling limiting belief. The majority of younger women will not assume you’re a “dirty old man,” but if you’re overly concerned about coming across this way,  you will communicate this negative vibe you talk to younger women.

You need to reconcile this within yourself. Psychologists have shown time and again that if we have a dominant thought, fear or concern, we find ways to make it real. If, for example, I am scared of being insulted, I will walk around all day looking for situations where someone insults me. If I am worried all the time that people think I am ugly or fat, I will be hyper aware of the people around me, and subconsciously I’ll even search out people who will judge me as a fat and ugly slob, since it confirms my internal belief.

So, if you are hyper worried about people judging you as a dirty old man, or as a creepy older guy, you will likely illicit that response from younger women. Believing you are a dirty old man usually comes from aspect of a Judeo Christian background, and at some level ties into a belief that sex is bad. If this is an issue you struggle with, you need to find ways to work on it. You may need to logically dissect it, or simply become aware of this belief and choose to stop believing it. Click here for more information on how to date young girls.

by Eric Disco, Pickup 101 Head Instructor and

There are a thousand things you could say to a woman. But what good are they if you can’t walk up to her and say them? Every guy who wants to improve his lot with women has considered this before. In reality, walking up to a woman and starting a conversation shouldn’t be that difficult but for some men, the thought of doing so can completely paralyze them! Or, they allow their minds to generate all of the reasons why they SHOULDN’T walk up to her and say hello. (She’s probably stuck-up…she must have a boyfriend…I’m not the type of guy she would go for…she’s going to think I’m hitting on her…etc.)

Before ever hearing the word ‘pickup,’ Eric wondered what was keeping him from talking to women. Logically it should have been easy, but physically, it was impossible for him to break through that barrier. Years later, after becoming a head pickup instructor for one of the most respected companies in this industry, he still wrestles with the question: Why are men so afraid to walk up to women and talk to them?

His blog, approachanxiety.com, is one of the most popular blogs on the internet for men who want to learn how to meet women. He’s helped countless guys learn to accept the fear and excitement that goes along with meeting women. Men who once had given up on themselves are now out there approaching, dating and seducing women they never would have interacted with before.

Through his writings, his probing podcasts with dating gurus, and his in-person coaching, Eric Disco has one aim: to help men find their true inner confidence. If you can learn to be comfortable, confident and yourself around women you’ve just met, the rest is easy.

And so, we asked Eric to share his thoughts on approaching and meeting younger women. Here’s what this expert had to say…

It’s an easy mistake.

She’s young.  She’s gorgeous.  She’s fashionable and hip.

She knows all the cool lingo and hangs out with young people.

It seems like the universe revolves around her—and she often acts like it does.

Perhaps she’s sitting there in a cafe, or a bookstore or in a park.  And you wonder what her life must be like.

Wild parties and adventures.

She probably dates rock stars.

And there’s you. You lead a normal life.

“What could I possibly offer her?” you think to yourself.

Perhaps you have money.  But you’re smart enough to know that showering her with lavish gifts only backfires—big time.

Younger women often talk about how they’ll let older men take them out and spend money on them, but they won’t hook up with them.

Perhaps you could show her some comfort.  You have a nice home and drive a nice car.

But all of this seems to pale in comparison to the exciting life she probably leads.

As for me, I love dating younger women.  I also love dating women my age. I even date women older than me.

One of the beautiful things about dating younger women is that it truly shows what dating and relationships are about, and what they aren’t about.

Once you start approaching women a lot, so many things start to fade into the background—things that used to seem relevant.

Am I handsome enough?

Am I rich enough?

Am I too short, too bald, or too fat?

And of course: Am I too old?

If you’ve approached enough women, you know that how you make her feel about you is far less important than how you make her feel about herself.

You know that you aren’t trying to get into her world and show her that you can function in it.  You are letting her discover your world.

You begin to see that everything you have between the two of you is what you have right there in the moment when you are with her.

All that other stuff doesn’t matter.

If you can make her smile and play with her, she’ll play back.

If you can make her feel unique and special, she will always come back for more.

Based on my experience, approaching thousands of women and coaching many guys of all ages, these are the most important aspects an older guy should look at when dating younger women.

Click here for the ultimate tips on how to date younger girls.