The most effective openers are ones that sneak under her radar and don’t sound like opening lines. (Remember, you don’t want to telegraph that you’re interested in her.)
Instead of opening with a question such as, “Hi, I’m Joe, what’s your name?” Or, “How are you doing tonight?”, try making a STATEMENT that includes some type of observation about her.
Example
“I can see you know how to have fun. Alright, you’re on the guest list for my next party.”
“Quick question. There’s this cool pair of jeans that I want to buy for a friend of mine. She’s around your size, but it’s hard to say, exactly. I’m just wondering, should I buy them a little bit bigger, or a little bit smaller? If the size is too big, I’m worried she might get a little bit offended…but if they’re too small, that might bum her out, y’know? Which would you prefer if someone bought you jeans that were a little bit too big, or a little too small?”
If this sounds like something trivial to ask a woman about, that’s sort of the point. What you start talking to her about is irrelevant, as long as it’s something original and compelling enough to make her reply.
The purpose of your opener, whether it’s a question, a statement, or a little story like the one above, is simply to be original and get her talking. Once she starts talking, you’ll find a way to interject and move the conversation onto a different topic. (You wouldn’t want to spend the next five minutes on a discussion about jeans, or how females have negative perceptions of their bodies, or whatever. The point of the story was to OPEN the conversation, nothing more.)
Next, you want to transition the conversation to a more interesting topic, one that also allows you to plant seeds about your positive qualities.
So, you use the “buying a pair of jeans opener,” and she says…
HER: I’d buy them a size too small, if anything. She can always return them if they don’t fit.
YOU: That’s true. I just know she’s been kind of self-conscious since her boyfriend broke up with her. I still can’t believe he dumped her over such a stupid reason…
HER: (curious now) Why? What happened?
YOU: Well, somehow he found out the password to her email account, and he checked her emails and found out that she’d been corresponding with her ex-boyfriend Mike. Mike was her high school sweetheart. They broke up years ago, and Mike has a wife and a kid now, but they stayed friends. Anyway, when her current boyfriend saw those emails, he flipped out and broke up with her.
HER: That’s terrible.
YOU: Some people just don’t get it. For me, I can’t be in a relationship unless I feel like I’m 100% trusted, and I can trust my girl completely. Trust and commitment are so important to me.
HER: Me too.
YOU: We have that in common, that’s good. So tell me…if you were dating a guy, and you found out the password to his email account, would you check it?
Now you’re engaged in a very compelling conversation. You’ve totally “reeled her in.” Once you feel enough has been said on this particular topic, transition to something else.
The point I’m making here is that talking about Relationship Dramas and Cheating are excellent topics for jump-starting a conversation with a woman. (Or women, plural you can start a conversation with a group of girls this way, just as easily.) Women naturally love gossip, especially about cheating and screwed-up relationships, which is why these openers and topics work SO effectively.
