BONUS TIP FROM CARLOS XUMA: “TEASE TO PLEASE”

The “Tease to Please” method works when you talk to women, because it short-circuits her usual defense mechanisms to meeting ‘strange’ men.

You see, every woman comes with her factory-installed defense mechanism against meeting new guys. When a guy approaches her, for any reason, she assumes you’re picking up on her. It’s what she’s gotten used to. All women are by now, and they all have a standard routine of being a little stand-offish to you until you bust past this barrier.

Remember when you were just an eight-year-old kid on the playground? There were all these ‘strange’ creatures playing around the sandbox. They were called girls, and they seemed so bizarre and foreign to you. They were delicate and interesting in a way that you couldn’t quite explain, but you knew that they were different.

How do kids treat those that are different? They tease them.

“Mary, Mary, she’s so hairy!”

“Where’d you get that backpack? Looks like a hunchback!”

“Jenny’s got a CARROT top!”

Boys teased girls. Girls teased boys. Everyone made fun of everyone else. It was sandlot politics at its best, and you learned very quickly that you had to develop a callus to the teasing, or you’d get bruised pretty badly. (Some kids never adjusted, and grew up with their own sandbox issues.)

Ah, what fun those days were.

Well, sort of.

We learned some very primitive social interactions there, but the principles still held for many of us. (Hey, whether or not you like it, we’re a lot closer to those kids in the playground than the adults you think we are. Everyone is still a little kid inside.)

I’ll be willing to bet you that you teased more girls because you liked them than you did because of any genuine weirdness. Sure, there’s some cruelty, but the first social interaction most boys have with girls is when they teased them mercilessly. And what happened? The girls stuck up for themselves. They teased back. And they didn’t realize it at the time, but this set in motion a whole pattern of behavior that led to them being very interested and attracted when they are CHALLENGED.

That’s right, boys. Teasing is all about raising the stakes of challenge to her, and letting her know that you don’t get all mushy inside when you get near a girl. No confidence = no attraction from her.

Tease to Please is a simple strategy. By teasing, you emulate a lot of the self-confidence you need to demonstrate with a woman. That’s really the secret in a nutshell. Call it what you want, Cocky and funny, confident and humorous, Tease to Please. You are showing her you have the balls to not roll over and pant like a whipped dog every time a woman comes near you.

Here’s how you do it. In my previous article, I explained how to deliver your introduction. Now you are in a position to continue the conversation as you see fit. You’ve disarmed her natural defenses and opened up your opportunity to engage her attraction mechanism.

You do this through Teasing.

Here’s one of the examples we used last time:

Example: She’s got bright red shoes on.

YOU: “Wow, those are … interesting shoes. My sister might like a pair like that. Where’d you get them…?”

HER: “Oh, these? Uhm, I got them at Macy’s. They’re really old. I was looking to get a new pair.”

YOU: “Well, my sister is pretty young, but she’d like that style. For an OLD lady … (PAUSE) … you’re a pretty sharp dresser.” You give her a SLIGHT smile that says “That was a joke.”

Remember, “sister” can be changed to aunt, or cousin, or whatever. You can use my standard response I gave you for now, but you’ll do better if you learn how to think on your feet and come up with more personal and customized versions.

There are a whole host of teasing responses. Here are some others (delivered with that sly smile):

“Well, with heels that high, you better watch out for awnings. And low-flying planes.”

“How many feet have you crushed with those things? I’m wearing steel-toes, so don’t try it on me.”

Let’s say it’s about a ring she’s wearing:

“Well, my sister likes those ‘groovy’ rings, too. Do you have a mood ring? I bet you were the kind of girl to wear one of those. Was it blue all the time? You look like you have cold hands.”

“My sister likes toe rings like that. Do you wear them on your toes, too? Just don’t tell me you have a weird piercing, like your butt-cheek. That would just be TOO freaky.”

“Wow, that thing is HUGE. I bet you have to leave it off when you go swimming, huh? Or else you’d sink right to the bottom.”

It goes on and on. In fact, you could sit down and just think up a handful of these for a few different items of clothing (shoes, purse, jacket) and/or jewelry and be set for almost ANY encounter.

Doesn’t it feel great to know that you can now control your meetings and increase your ratios?

Remember: Don’t be insulting. Be TEASING. Teasing is done with a tongue-in-cheek sense of humor. You kid with her. If you make fun of her in a mean or malicious way, you’re out. If you don’t let her know you’re kidding, you’re out.

The point of all this is to:

A) Get her laughing

B) Challenge her (by demonstrating Self-confidence and that you’re DIFFERENT.)

After you joke with her a little, make a decision if this is a woman you might be interested in. If so, you smile and start to walk away. Then, turn right back and TELL her (don’t ask):

“Hey, you know, we might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your number for me.” (Memorize this phrasing to use.)

An alternate approach: “Hey, you know, I might like to continue this conversation sometime. Write down your email address for me.”

If she says she doesn’t have a pen, you DO, and hand it to her. If she says she doesn’t have email, tease her some more: “No email? You didn’t just get off a desert island did you?” Smile. “Here, just give me your home phone.” (As she starts writing): “Uhm, your REAL number. I’m just going to call you as soon as I get home and leave a dozen annoying messages on your answering machine.” Smile. Take her number and leave.

Don’t tell her you’ll call. Leave her wondering.

That’s it. You disarm her defenses by keeping a sense of humor. You show self confidence and challenge her by teasing a little. Then you ask for what you want, and then you leave. You’re a busy guy, with a busy schedule of too many women to meet.

This completes your education on the Tease to Please approach. Now, as I said before, for such an invaluable and easy to use technique (given to you FREE, I’ll add) the least you can do is to start putting it to use. I want to hear from guys who go out and start getting some action from the use of this.

‘Cause I’ll guarantee you one thing: You will get more responsiveness from women with this simple approach than ANY other tactic.

More response = more practice. More practice = more dates. More dates = more sex. Or more relationships, or whatever it is you want. It all starts here.

Get more women in your life. This is the bottom line.

My Experience With A Young Girl

A few months ago, I was at a media conference north of San Francisco, in wine country. I wound up hanging out with a really cool 22-year-old college student fromPhiladelphia.

She was super smart, hot, and had a great sense of humor. We sat together during meal breaks, attended many seminars together, and were constantly flirting with each other.

It seemed like every time I turned around, another guy would be hitting on her. No problem, I figured I’ve dealt with plenty of cock blockers before, and was able to easily hold her interest. Things were going great.

After a couple of days of flirting, some fun late-night drinking, and making out in my hotel room, I was happy. There was one problem, however: there was one cock blocker who was getting a lot of attention from her. He was an older professor-type in his late 50s with a charming, easygoing manner. He’d get her laughing about something, and the next thing I knew he’d have his arm around her.

At this point, most guys would feel threatened and try to keep her as far as way from the other guy as possible. Instead, I thought I’d better cozy up to him and find out why, exactly, she was so receptive to him.

I joined their next conversation, and it turned out that this guy was amazing. He reminded me of the actor Dennis Hopper.

He had a wicked sense of humor and had an endless reservoir of fascinating stories.

He talked about interesting political stories from the 1960’s, travel stories of amazing places, hilarious stories of doing LSD, and much more. He had no fear at all, and was completely open about his life and experiences.

Luckily, the guy didn’t succeed at banging this chick. I managed to have her sleep in my bed a couple of nights, and seal our connection.

But I mention this guy as an example of someone who was fairly “old,” and yet had a remarkable effect on women. If my game wasn’t as strong as it is, I have no doubt he could have snatched her out from under me.

I’m not the slickest guy in the world with women, but I had a very strong connection with this girl and we spent a lot of time together.

For this guy to get her so interested, and open to him, was quite a feat. I actually came to view the other guy as a model for how I want to interact with women when I reach that age able to not only build authentic connections with women who are decades younger, but to make them feel genuine sexual attraction. Click here for tips on how to date young girls.

Achieving the Right Image and Attitude Part 1 By Lucas West

Full disclosure: as I write this, I’m 32 years old. I may not exactly qualify as an “older guy” to many of you. But that being said, the girl I’m currently dating is 8 years younger than I am. The one before her was nine years younger. And, for a brief moment, I had my taste of a nineteen-year-old while on a visit to foreign lands. Any more of an age gap, and I’d probably be breaking the law.

I suppose that on the surface, you’d think there is a vast difference between 25 and 45. In a relationship, 1o years apart seems to be socially acceptable; 20 or 30 is bound to raise some eyebrows.

However, your success with younger women is not dependent on how old you are, or how large the gap is. The approach you use for a woman your age will also work for someone younger—with a few minor tweaks.

Your success really comes down to three things:

The image you present to the world.
The beliefs/thoughts you have running around in your head, your mindset.
Your selection criteria (ie how you select who you’re going to approach)

Those are the same three things you’d focus on if there weren’t any age gap. Only the variables within each group change a little. Women are women; the psychology of a woman doesn’t change with age. Only her focus does.

1. Your Image

When I talk about your image, I don’t mean the way you dress (though that is an element of it). The image we’re concerned with is the one that she forms based on your external appearance, your way of moving through the world, how you carry yourself, what you say, how you interact with others, etc.

You want to be in total control of the kind of person she thinks you are. Women don’t just go for what’s on the surface. She’s asking herself “what kind of person is he on the inside?” The answer that you should have ready for her should be something that overpowers any resistance to your age, looks, height, weight, or anything else that is outside her normal “type.”

Women go for men who have what they want. That’s really what it boils down to:

Do you have what she wants?

Sure, some of them want you to be Brad Pitt (who is over 40, by the way. But, he’s perceived as youthful because he’s presented that way). But, they’ll gladly put aside good looks and age if you have everything else she’s been looking for.

With age comes many benefits. Experience, security, understanding, and social status are all byproducts of getting older. If you want to attract younger women, forget about the age difference and focus on the benefits that come from being older. But your actions must speak louder than words. You can’t just talk about being more experienced and mature than men her age. It has to be seen to be believed.

If you have to tell her, then you’re not doing it right.

You have to start asking yourself, “What are the qualities that make me attractive, despite my age?” And, honestly, if I were you, I’d even drop that last part about your age. Just ask yourself, why would anyone, regardless of how old she is, want to be dating you?

I can promise you this: if you have attractive qualities that make you desirable to women in general, then you definitely have qualities that younger women will also find attractive. While the mindset of a woman does change as she gets older, they’re all still attracted to the fundamentals. Demonstrate to everyone around you that you’re the man they either want to be, or the man they want to be with.

Up to a certain point, you want to present yourself as youthfully masculine. Don’t get an earring and dye your hair blonde. Just take care of your body; eat right and exercise. Display healthiness, and you’ll be associated with youthfulness. Wear clothes that look good, and make you seem like you’ve opened up a copy of GQ Magazine in the past year.

You should be doing that no matter how old you are, but if you want to seem especially younger, you shouldn’t be the kind of guy who looks like he needs to relax at home after a hard day of work.

Engage in strenuous physical activity. Hit the gym, go hiking or ride a bike. Take dance classes. If you don’t feel old, you won’t look old. Besides, younger women don’t go for the stay-at-home types. They’re more likely to go for you if you’re bursting with energy.

If you’re clean-shaven or have a beard or a mustache, try trading it in for the “haven’t shaved in two days” stubble. Studies have shown that women find this look attractive. Again, it connotes a young, yet maturing appearance. It also demonstrates a little rebelliousness, especially in older men.

Remember, it’s all in service to the image she’ll make up in her head. In there, you need to seem youthful, energetic, strong, experience, able to take care of her and satisfy her. If you can conjure and cultivate the portrait of a capable man, the age difference will have little meaning.

2. Your Mindset

What you project as your image has its roots in what you’re thinking right now. Who do you believe yourself to be? What do you feel are the boundaries of your capabilities?

Let me ask you this: right now, do you feel like you can easily pick up a desirable 25 year old? Do you feel that you’re at a disadvantage because of your age?

Over the years, I’ve heard every excuse in the book, and I can tell you that there are almost as many 25 year old guys who don’t think they can get a 25 year old girl, as there are 45 year olds who think the same way.

It’s not your age; it’s your beliefs about your age that hold you back. As I pointed out earlier, getting older has its benefits. But what if you were to truly believe that your age isn’t something to hide? What if you were proud of how old you are?

The Importance of Originality Part 1 By Dean Cortez

Enjoying massive success with younger women begins with what I call the “180 Rule.” What this means, basically, is that you’ve got to start doing the opposite of what most men do when they interact with women. You want to take your game in a completely opposite direction.

This is because the worst thing you can do, when you’re out there meeting women, is to be predictable. When you approach or converse with a woman in an unoriginal, predictable way, she’s going to mentally lump you in with the last 47 guys who walked up to her, or offered to buy her a drink, or made some annoying attempt to get her phone number.

Keep this question in mind: when you talk to women, are you giving them reasons to say “yes” to you? Are you motivating them towards getting to know you, handing over their phone number, or going back to your place?

Or, are you being unoriginal and giving them reasons to say “no?” Think of yourself as guy #48…and remember, the last 47 got shot down because they didn’t strike her as being anything different.

Some of those 47 guys were tall; others were short. Some were her age. Some were older. Some were strikingly handsome; others reminded her of her creepy high school math teacher.

But she wound up shooting down all of them because she didn’t perceive any value in them, and she didn’t sense any challenge.

They all wanted her! That much was obvious. They would have gladly paid for her drinks all night, if she would do them the honor of keeping them company. But there was nothing interesting about them. They were a drain on her energy, and her patience.

The moment these guys started talking, her female “radar” was picking up on red flags. So what if he was tall, or rich, or bore a strong resemblance to Johnny Depp he was lame and predictable. After five minutes of dead-end conversation, she was already glancing around the room trying to come up with an excuse to extract herself.

Remember that women are conditioned to say “no” to men. This is a natural defense mechanism.

Attractive women are approached and propositioned by men constantly. They don’t say “no” just to spare themselves from endless, lame conversations there’s also an evolutionary reason behind it.

Let’s face it. What does every one of these guys want from her? Sex. This is why we approach women and start conversations. And as men, theoretically, we could sleep with an endless number of women and never face any consequences.

For women, however, there is always the chance that they will get pregnant. If she lowers her shield and gets intimate with the wrong guy, she could very easily wind up a single mother, raising a genetically weak child. And as a single mother, her chances of “winning the game”—meeting and marrying a successful, attractive man who makes her feel secure are significantly diminished. She got screwed literally.

So, not to get overly analytical, but just remember that younger women are looking for reasons to blow you off rather than lowering their defenses and allowing you into their world.

You’ve got to give her reasons to say “yes.”

YES, it’s great to meet you and I want to know more about you.

YES, I’d love to give you my phone number.

YES, I am free on Friday night for dinner.

YES, let’s go back to your place and open that bottle of wine.

So what’s the key to putting her in the “yes” mindset? Let’s begin with the #1 mistake that men make with women: broadcasting their interest.

In other words, he lets her know, right off the bat, that he’s attracted to her and would LOVE to get with her, if she decides that he is worthy. This immediately puts him in a position of weakness instead of a position of strength.

Here are some of the ways that guys broadcast their interest:

Telling her how beautiful she is
Using an obvious “pickup line”
Offering to buy her a drink right away
Talking too much about himself, in an attempt to impress her
Monopolizing her time and space (once the conversation begins, he’ll try to engage her for as long as possible until she has to politely excuse herself)
Being jealous or possessive; feeling threatened by other men in the environment

The Importance of Originality Part 2 By Dean Cortez

The skilled seducer, on the other hand, understands how to challenge women and frame himself as the “prize” that she needs to win. He talks very little about himself. When she asks him questions (such as “what do you do for a living?”), he responds with a playful joke, or alludes to what he does in vague terms.

He has no need to impress her. She is the one who is going to need to be impressive, because YOU are a man of wisdom and experience, with many options.

Project this to women, and they’ll express their interest in you. They’ll show it in small ways a brief touch, a flirtatious smile, a comment like “you’re cute” or “so are you this smooth with all the girls you meet?”

The key is to not take the bait. If she says or does something that seems to indicate her interest in you, ignore it. Stick with your game. Her indication of interest is not a license for you to drop your guard and broadcast your interest. If anything, you’ve got to play it more cool.

HER: “You’re so interesting. I feel like you and me really click.’”

YOU: “I hear that a lot from women.”

HER: “You’re probably a player, huh? Popular with the ladies?”

YOU: ‘Women like me, and I love women. So it all works out.”

HER: “I like you.”

YOU: “Yeah, I can tell.”

Let’s say that you’re out with a woman, and the conversation has been going great. You’ve been controlling the flow of the conversation and building a bond with her.

You say something funny and touch her on the knee.

She puts her hand on yours.

She looks into your eyes, and smiles…

So now the two of you are holding hands, and it’s obvious she’s attracted to you. At this point, the typical guy will think “this girl is into me,” and will start acting differently.

His inner Wuss will emerge. He’ll start being super-nice and polite and allow the conversation to drift onto the wrong topics. (Such as talking about “exes,” and past relationships, and his own personal problems…WEAK areas that should be avoided)

He’s trying extra hard not to “blow it.” He figures if he can just be super nice and polite and not say anything stupid, surely he’ll get her back to his place…

Because he’s received approval from her, and has proof that she likes him, he figures,

“I don’t need to keep applying my skills at this point. This one’s in the bag. I can just be myself now.”

The problem is, this means reverting back to being the boring, ordinary and predictable version of who he is. When she realizes that he’s really not the confident, funny, mysterious guy she thought he was, her attraction cools off…and the date ends with a kiss on the cheek, and her going home alone.

A classic example of this comes from the movie “The Empire Strikes Back.” Han Solo is about to descend into the carbon chamber and get deep-freezed. Princess Leia’s parting words to him are, “I love you.”

To which Han replies, “I know.”

So after all the sexual tension that has been building up between these two, she finally loses control and blurts out a declaration of love. And how does Han react? Does he reciprocate, by telling her how much he loves her and getting all mushy?

Hell no! He just says, “I know.”

Maybe he loves her, too. But he doesn’t give her the confession. He doesn’t give her the validation she is craving at that moment. He doesn’t let her win.

As a result, this AMPLIFIES the sexual tension, and Leia’s attraction towards him, to a mind-blowing level. If she wanted him before, now she absolutely craves him with every molecule of her being.

If you start chatting with a woman in a bar, don’t monopolize her time and space. Excuse yourself to step outside and make a phone call, or to check in with some friends. Come back five or ten minutes later and pick up where you left off with her.

The idea is to get her interested, build up her attraction, then disengage and give her space. Repeat the process. You can make her miss you, even if you’re only stepping away for a few minutes. This is also a sure sign of confidence. Imagine how the average guy would handle the situation: he’d stand there and talk her ear off for as long as she allowed him to. Not you.

Nice guys say predictable things, and take women out on predictable dates. You want to have an “edge” that conveys calm, cool confidence; act like your options are endless, and she’s just one of them.

If you’re standing at the bar, talking to a girl, here’s what the difference would be…

BORING GUY: “So, can I buy you a drink?”

COOL GUY: “Grab us a couple of drinks, I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Or, another variation on this:

BORING GUY: “Let me buy you a drink.”

COOL GUY: “Y’know what, Melissa, I get the sense that you’re a lot deeper than most guys realize. I’m going to go ahead and get us some drinks, because I want to hear more about that trip you took toSpain.” Or, as you’re about to leave the bar with her…

BORING GUY: “Can I walk you to your car?”

COOL GUY: “C’mon, walk me to my car.”

Or, when you call her to schedule a date:

BORING GUY: “Maybe if you’re free sometime, we could get together and do something…”

COOL GUY: “I’m planning on checking out this new Mexican place on Friday night, I hear they make the best margaritas in town. Why don’t you come along, I can pick you up at eight o’clock.”

Assume that the last 37 guys that approached her, or called her, were utterly predictable. They introduced themselves the same way, asked her the same series of “job interview”-type questions, and talked about standard, uninteresting topics. And they only changed topics when the current topic had been run into the ground.

The key to having dynamic conversations is that you control the flow. You keep the conversation moving into new, interesting territory. Don’t linger on a topic until it has run out of steam. Keep the conversation flowing in new directions to keep her in a heightened, interested emotional state.

Meeting Younger Women Online Part 1 by Sam Stone

Guys in their 40 and 50s tend to have a harder time conceptualizing that they can be successful with younger women online. Age and experience, however, can be huge assets that you use to your advantage.

For starters, stop viewing your age as a vulnerability, and don’t bother trying to hide (or fudge) the truth. Assuming you are truthful in your profile, your age is going to be listed right there for women to see.

Sure, a lot of guys will shave a few years off their actual age, but eventually you’ve got to meet these women in person and if you’re obviously way older than you claimed to be, she is going to automatically deem you untrustworthy.)

I’ve helped many guys to become more successful with dating younger women. Personally, I don’t date women over the age of 25, and with these methods I’ve managed to get up to 10 dates a week with beautiful women on a recurring basis.

I’ve also had the chance to experience firsthand some of the most common obstacles that older men face when using online dating. I’ve been fortunate to get really good at overcoming these obstacles, and other guys have asked me how to overcome these challenges.

This is why I’ve put this special report together: to help guys like us get over these obstacles easily, and find success in online dating—no matter what you want to get out of it.

Obstacle #1:

You mention your age in an email, and she doesn’t respond.

I hate to say this, but age is an issue for some girls. This is probably one of the most common issues older guys face when trying online dating, since you’ve got to try to communicate your personality through your profile, and cleverly written emails.

If you’d met this same girl while you were out shopping on a Sunday afternoon, she might be immediately interested in your personality, your style, etc. But when you’re attempting to meet women online, she has a lot less information to go on—and more reasons to hit the “delete” button, simply because she has preconceived notions about the age range she thinks she is interested in.

Still, there are right ways, and wrong ways, to handle this. I’ve seen cases in which guys apologized for being older, as if mentioning their age as a reason for women to reject them. Bad, bad move.

Women (both offline and online) are interpretive creatures. Everything you say gets filtered through her mental computer, and if you make something into an issue, it will become an issue for her as well.

Why bring up anything that will give her a reason to doubt or reject you? She can see your profile, and if she doesn’t like it, she won’t respond (and there are ways to overcome that, too)…but if she does like what you have to say, you’ll be in the door, even if you’re 20 or 30 years older than her.

Obstacle #2:

You email a girl and she doesn’t respond to your email.

This is one of the most common issues guys face when they first get started with online dating, and it causes some men to throw in the towel far too prematurely. There are several reasons why this could happen:

1. The girl is simply unavailable: she met someone and forgot to remove her profile from the dating site. You can easily overcome this by using a search filtered by “last date active.” Girls who haven’t been active for a while (usually over a week) are most likely less available then girls who are still active every day.

2. The girl is not in town/too busy/abducted by aliens/etc. Sometimes it’s just a matter of timing. She might not have enough time to reply, or she isn’t around to answer your email. In this case, don’t be a baby and start harassing her with emails asking why she didn’t answer your email, and why she’s ignoring you. Just wait for a while, and if you see that she’s been active lately on the site, email her one more time.

3. The girl didn’t see your email: attractive women usually get bombarded with emails when they sign up for an online dating service. They may get overwhelmed, and don’t take the time to sort through all the emails they get.

Who can blame them? What you can do is, stand out with your emails by using a catchy subject line. For example, using the “matrix approach” I talk about in my ebook “Internet Dating Secrets Revealed!”, scan through her profile and target something that she says is important to her.

Then, when you write to her, put a “challenge” in the subject line. If she says she likes Mexican food, you write “I can’t believe you like Mexican food…”

She’ll notice the subject of your email because it will stand out from all the “I want to meet you” or “hello beautiful” emails she gets. She’ll glance at the subject line and think, “what’s wrong with me liking Mexican food? Why is this guy challenging me?”

Attractive women are used to men supplicating to them and saying stuff like “you like Mexican food? I like it too!” just to try to get her to like them. By challenging her, you are separating yourself from the pack. She will then read the email to see what you have to say. You don’t need to mention Mexican food ever again. Just use that tactic to pique her curiosity and get the correspondence started.

Obstacle #3:

You want to get good at online dating, but you don’t feel ready yet to email the REALLY attractive young women.

This is another common scenario. You figure there is a “learning curve” with online dating, so you’re better off trying to correspond with the more “regular” girls before you try for the gold.

It’s true that online dating excellence is a skill. This is especially true if you are trying to date women who are much younger than you, and have a lot of options. Depending on your level of “game,” you might need some practice and trial and error in order to develop a level of skill that will allow you to meet younger women of exceptional quality. And there’s nothing wrong with taking this attitude.

Once you spend enough time on a dating site, you will start seeing the same faces over and over again. You’ll start to notice the “regulars” but perhaps you don’t want to burn out your options too soon (especially in smaller towns), when you don’t feel you have the skills down yet. In this case, a great method to use, that allows you to build stock material and get some practice, is “moving.”

No, I don’t mean that you need to physically move to a new town. With a quick adjustment to your profile and a click of a mouse, you can change your location and then you have a totally new set of girls you can practice on. (Hey, who knows, you might even wind up traveling to meet a girl in another city if something interesting develops.)

I don’t recommend “moving” your location to major “player” cities likeLos AngelesorNew York. I suggest trying this tactic in smaller, less “sophisticated” cities and practice there. If you do want an advanced class in online pick up, then Los AngelesandNew Yorkare hotbeds for attractive younger women but expect a lot of competition. Click here for more tips and tactics.

Convey A Paradoxical Personality When Dating Young Girls

Women love paradoxical guys. Women crave men who are complicated and mysterious, not simple and easy to figure out. To start, answer these questions: What is it that women would not expect about you? How are you paradoxical?

Every man reading this is paradoxical at some level. You have the ability to portray many different aspects of your personality at one time. You do this by sharing and revealing different points of view that you hold, sharing unique stories, and showing that you, in your own way, are paradoxical.

Show a woman that:

You are a gentleman and a “bad” boy at the same time.
You are sexual and trustworthy at the same time.
You’re ambitious and focused, but also know how to cut loose and party.
You can be hot and cold: giving her your undivided attention, then being unavailable when she wants to see you or talk to you on the phone.
You can be both edgy and sweet.
You can be emotionally available and emotionally turbulent at the same time.
You can be dramatic and serious, and also silly and playful.
You’re a funny guy who doesn’t take life too seriously, but you can also talk about deep, introspective topics.

You can accomplish this through telling stories and sharing details of your life that highlight different aspects of your personality—especially things about yourself that a woman will not expect.

Be Emotional

We all know that women love, and bond through, emotions. Emotions are like your “artist’s palette” when you’re constructing conversations with women. It is emotional intensity that changes the tone and vibe of a conversation, and by subtly tweaking the emotional content, you can change the mood dramatically.

Learning to speak the language of women means using emotions in your stories, and in your conversations. You need to learn how to include EMOTIONAL CONTENT when asking questions and making statements.

Come up with stories from your life on the following topics:

A time you felt frustrated or angry.
A time you were really scared.
A funny but embarrassing story.
A story about a time you felt overwhelmed with excitement or joy.

You need to start utilizing emotional content to create a deeper sense of rapport with women. When you do so, they will feel more connected to you. When you don’t, women will feel that the conversation is more platonic and boring. Click here for more tips.

The Archetypes Part 2

Archetype Four: “The Scattered Self-Improver”

I can’t help liking this guy. He’s ambitious and is always juggling a few different projects. He’s always learning new things and works out almost every day. He might sing karaoke, study martial arts, attend motivational seminars, volunteer for good causes, learn different languages, and train his dog to do tricks.

In his free time, he might create 3-D animations, or build a boat. Have I forgotten anything? Oh, yes. He also likes to think of himself as a “pickup artist.”

This guy appears to have an interesting, rich life. The challenge lies in his inherent superficiality. The reason, strangely enough, is the same as with the previous archetype: fear of reality.

The difference is that while the Brainwashed guy is hindered by what society and the media tell him is the “best,” the Scattered Self-Improver is constantly trying to distract himself.

He goes out on a lot of first dates. He rarely gets a second date: he seems to lose interest in that woman, or he can’t find time to see her again, or (more often than not) she finds his lifestyle overwhelming and feels intimidated by his well-rounded greatness.

Even when he gets to have a relationship with a woman, it hardly lasts longer than a few weeks.

A solution? Tone it down. Less is more. We cannot be all things at once. Sacrifice the numbers for the sake of depth. Make choices.

Over the last few years, I’ve worked with hundreds of men on improving and in many cases, radically transforming their romantic lives. At least a half of these men were born in the 1960s or earlier.

I measure the success of what I do by what my students consider their personal breakthroughs. I’m proud to say that my success rate, when it comes to helping men achieve a greater level of success with women, is over 90 percent.

I never expect to have absolute success in all cases: I know how life works and do not suffer from obsessive perfectionism. I’m pleased with the somewhat imperfect consistency of the results of my teaching.

So before I wrap up this chapter, let me share with you a few successful case studies (since I get to choose whom I tell you about, I guess I will just brag about the most interesting ones). The names of the characters in these stories, and certain personal details, are changed for the sake of their privacy.

Gene, a resident ofLondonand a professional magazine editor, recently came to visit me inNew York. He was a 57-year-old widower and a father of three adult children.

We spent five days together a period of intensive training, during which I got Gene to observe me in action as I approached dozens of women in bookstores, museums, shopping centers, coffee houses, parks, and in the streets. After that, it was Gene’s turn to show me what he can do.

Most of the women Gene met during those days were considerably younger than he was. Gene was painfully shy during the first couple of days, and we shared a few dramatic moments when our teacher/student relationship was tested by fire and ice. Eventually, he managed to open up, and after the third day of training on things began to go much better for him. In the beginning, he learned to approach women and open conversations with the simplest “excuse me.”

By the end of his training with me he could consistently get phone numbers, using the elegant, hard-to refuse tactic: “I’d like you to have my phone number… and I want yours, of course”. Gene sent a gentlemanly text message “I’m glad I met you” to each of the women whose numbers he got, invited the ones who responded to meet him later on the same day, went out with one of the youngest of those women, ended up making out in her place, and was an hour late for our final night training session in a bar.

Today, several months after Gene and I met, he is dating a woman in her thirties a journalist like himself. From what I understand, Gene is not planning to marry her, and yet he speaks of her as a hopefully permanent romantic partner.

Another example would be Robert, 46 years old and African American, who lives inChicagoand works in the medical field. The challenge he faced was of a different sort: he was dating a very attractive woman in her early twenties, and yet he suffered from a nagging sense that he didn’t deserve to be with someone like her.

My work with Robert began to feel closer to that of a therapist than a courtship instructor but I don’t really do therapy, so instead I chose to address my new friend’s self-doubts by “reconnecting” him with womankind through field practice.

Robert and I spent a couple of days chatting with every attractive young woman we could find inChicago, in every place we could think of: bookstores, shopping malls, coffee houses, a bus terminal, even inside a Catholic temple.

I enjoyed seeing young women attracted to Robert wherever we went, and noticed how he began to blossom in the awareness of his masculine charm.

Robert had no approach anxiety and was a naturally great communicator. In the Art Institute of Chicago he approached an attractive young blonde, started a conversation about a surrealist painting she was observing, and ended up cruising the museum with her, his arm around her waist. To match him, I found a girl for myself.

Each time Robert and I passed each other with our beautiful companions, we exchanged conspiratorial nods or winks… until the girls figured us out and started laughing.

Then we made the introduction. The four of us had dinner together, and agreed to meet again later. After that, Robert and I discussed the events of the last two days, sharing a six-pack of Guinness in my hotel room. Robert told me that he began to see women’s ready interest in him as something to be expected.

My job was pretty much done. We ended up celebrating on a Saturday night in a bar on top of Water Tower. The girls from the Art Institute were there with us.

My final example is Andrew, 41, a software engineer of Japanese descent fromToronto. He’s one of my favorite students, because he had a number of significant challenges to overcome yet he was determined to keep working on himself until he had achieved a new lifestyle, image, pattern of behaviors, and a new self-perception.

It took a while. When Andrew and I first met, he was overweight, slouching, and dreadfully dressed with non-existent conversational skills, a high-pitched voice, a gloomy disposition, and a terribly negative belief that “Asian men don’t get many chicks.” He had a great talent for triggering instant resistance in every woman he tried to approach.

By this point, he was pretty desperate. He hated his job, his apartment, and his body. It was obvious to me that the guy was not ready to get to the actual dating he had to take certain measures first, to prepare himself.

Before I began actually teaching him, I sent him back home with a few bits of advice: to throw away the coat that gave his shoulders sloping rounded shape, and to get instead a classic jacket that would underline the angular look a man’s shoulders must have; to get rid of the pleated corporate khaki pants he was wearing, and spend a couple hundred dollars on decent jeans. For the full measure, I threw in the mandate to get in shape and stand up straight.

When Andrew came back three months later, he was twenty pounds lighter (a result of a karate class he signed up for), and stood two inches taller thanks to his improved posture. He was dressed more stylishly, as well. Yes, these were definite improvements. We spent a day working on the way he moved. We didn’t approach a single woman that day; that part of the process would come later.

After he returned to Toronto, we started our weekly Yahoo Messenger sessions and over the next four months I taught him conversational skills. We started with the basics that Andrew confessed made him feel back in the elementary school again: we had to do it, because in Andrew’s speech even simple concise statements and elementary questions needed to be cleaned up.

We progressed through complex statements to my favorite simple and fun-to-learn verbal improvisation skills like 4-corner flirting, compliments and teasing, dynamic statement of intent, topical and emotional pivoting, free association, and eliciting erotic fantasies, and a few others.

Over time, Andrew developed the necessary “conversational comfort zone” he needed to feel confident enough to approach women. He came back toNew Yorkagain, and that’s when we finally began to test his skills in the field. I am very happy to say that Andrew has turned out to become an even greater ladies man than yours truly.

He found a much better job, and he’s taking voice lessons. When I met him again a few weeks ago, he radiated confidence and charm. He ended up getting back together with his ex-girlfriend, and the two of them are much tighter than before. Click here for Part 1.

Specific Age-Related Issues

Do you lie about your age, or tell the truth?

It’s best to tell the truth, but in my opinion, you don’t have to tell her your age straight away.

Women may want all the information on you immediately, but you don’t have a responsibility to tell her everything upfront and in the first few minutes, or even hours. Use intrigue, and reveal things about yourself over time. If every time she hangs out with you, you reveal some new talent or hobby of yours, she’ll be endlessly curious and interested in knowing more about you. This is much more effective than reeling off your list of accomplishments and interests in the first thirty minutes you spend talking to her.

Women will often use standard job interview-type questions when they first meet a man—such as your age, your job, where you live, etc. It’s better to bypass this “Q&A” and engage women on a fun, more creative level. Stimulate that side of her, and don’t cater to her analytical and probing side—where she’s asking the questions, you’re trying to come up with the “right” answers, and she’s running it all through her mental computer and figuring out whether you’re the type of guy she should be interested in.

What do you do with her friends?

One problem you may face when dating younger women is that she may be less likely to introduce you to her friends and family. Some guys can get offended by this, and see this as a sign that the woman is putting limits on how serious she considers the relationship to be. The best approach is to focus on shaping and living in the “now” and enjoying the time you spend with her.

Older guys sometimes fall into the trap of thinking ahead too much, and getting too serious with any young woman that show them attention. It may take a while for a woman to picture herself in a long-term relationship with you, and if you try and force it too early, it can backfire. (When you put pressure on her to make a commitment, it always conveys a sense of urgency and desperation on your part—very unattractive qualities.) Many times, I’ve seen younger women think that a long-term relationship with an older guy just isn’t in the cards. But the more time they spend with the guy, the more their feelings change.

What about online dating?

I think that when you’re dealing with an age gap, meeting women face-to-face is especially important because you can have a chance to have fun with her before she screens you based on age. But online dating is a good way to increase your exposure to women, and it can be a key part of a lifestyle that involves constantly interacting with new people. I recommend you incorporate online dating into your lifestyle.

You’re likely to get “hung up” on one particular woman, and put all your eggs in that basket, when she’s the only option on your radar. If you’re meeting women on your social scene, and regularly emailing and chatting with new women online, you’ll never feel that you NEED to make it happen with a certain girl. You’ve got a Plan B, a Plan C, and so on.

What are some more specifics on approaching and dating younger women?

One of the best naturals I ever met was 40 years old. He was the guy who would pick up a girl EVERY time we would go out, and often within minutes. He would roll into a club and he’d be kissing women before I got my first drink. Sometimes these were hot college girls, and he had bad teeth and was small, short and pretty skinny. But my God, he was dominant! He was cocky, bordering on arrogant. He could be pushy. He’d touch women long before most guys would think it was appropriate to do so. But it worked!

On the other hand, most older guys are limited by terrible imaginary rules about pickup and dating—like making physical contact with a woman you just met is wrong, or you shouldn’t approach groups of younger women because they’ll only shut you out. Believe me, the list is endless for what I call “creative avoidance”—the silly justifications that men come up with, for not going after what they want.

Follow the standard rules of pickup. According to my method, these rules include:

Approach first, think later
Start touching straight away (not in a creepy way—find creative, subtle ways to establish body contact. This can be as simple as high-fiving her after you agree on something funny.)
Look to move her to a different location pretty quickly (this could be another area of the bar)
Escalate: physically, logistically, and by going for the “pull” or the phone number. (But save the heavy physical escalation for when you’re one-on-one with her.)
Never be the typical “nice guy”; don’t act needy or timid
Enjoy women. Don’t treat them as objects, have fun with them.

I want to reinforce the idea that pickup is easy.

Younger women are not that hard to meet and date. In fact, that young hottie you’ve got your eye on is eager to meet an older guy who brings value to their life, makes her feel safe and protected, and takes her mind off the stresses and problems of her reality. Why shouldn’t that guy be you?

Understanding The Inner Game From Love Systems

Inner game is probably one of the most popular subjects in dating science. It’s a major sticking point for nearly everyone who has trouble talking to women and it’s a problem that can be difficult to fix as well, since it tends to be rooted in a lifetime’s worth of negative beliefs that are based on things like fear and rejection.

Inner game is also a topic that I think can only be discussed from a personal level; that is, I can’t convince you how to think or look at life differently. Only you can do that. However, I can tell you how I overcame the very same problems, and hope that you can learn from my experiences.

Attracting Women And The Inner Game

To me, inner game problems boil down to two things: your experience and your mindset. Every problem you run into with not just women, but life itself, can be attributed to one of these two areas. I’m going to get into both of these, and give some personal insights, so hopefully by the end of this article you’ll have a clearer understanding of what exactly it is that you need to work on to fix your own issues.

Experience:

dating younger women When people ask me how I developed the kind of “rock solid confidence” that allowed me to put myself out there on national TV, I always answer the same way: “Practice.”

When you think about what confidence actually is, you realize that it’s simply doing something that you’ve done enough times to be comfortable with.

It’s only when we’re thrown into situations that are unfamiliar to us that we start to lose confidence in ourselves. The sad and somewhat ironic reality is that most men are not comfortable talking to women, simply because they don’t talk to women!

It’s a negative feedback loop that’s perpetuated by a fear of “what might go wrong.”

This is bullshit! To be scared of the possible negative outcomes is to be scared of the very thing that enables you to get better!

Think about it this way. When you were learning to ride a bike, were you too scared to get on because of a fear that you might fall down?

Maybe, but you got on anyway because you saw how much fun all the other kids were having. Even then you realized that the reward was worth the risk. Well, this is the same thing.

I remember before I took my bootcamp (taught by Tenmagnet), I wasn’t any good at meeting women. I used to get drinks thrown in my face, told off, or simply ignored. The bootcamp put me on the right path, and I had the model of how things were supposed to go and had seen instructors doing it properly up close

But I still wouldn’t have made the most of things if I hadn’t gotten used to rejection enough that I could understand where I went wrong. Getting used to rejection isn’t easy, but the best advice I can give you is to simply accept it.

Don’t get mad at her or yourself, don’t go home, just accept that it’s a completely normal and necessary part of the learning process. You can’t make an omelet without breaking some eggs. The sooner you realize that rejection is a necessary evil, the sooner you can come to terms with it and move past it.

There is no such thing as failure, only feedback.

Mindset:

Most of us grew up in a society that implied a dual-concentric model of reality. That is, the outer circle being reality, or the world around us, and the inner circle being our consciousness. We experience the outer circle, reality, through our inner circle, our consciousness. This is how we believed reality worked, that our consciousness was independent of it… but recently this all changed.

We are now learning through quantum physics that reality is actually the inner circle, and that our consciousness is the outer circle. That is, reality exists inside our mind, and we create our own reality with our thoughts (or beliefs, if you’d rather).

What does this mean?

As far as any of us know, there may only be one reality: your own. Who is to say that I’m not a figment of your imagination, your reality, writing out this entire article to send a message to you, from your subconscious mind. It’s possible.

The truth is, whether any of us actually exist or not is irrelevant. Life is a game, and it’s a game that a lot of people are scared to play. Don’t be one of them.

I recently received an email from a student of mine asking about the power of beliefs, and how they work. I replied with the following:

“Think of it this way: what if, let’s say, 15 years from now programmers invent this computer game that is virtually identical to reality. The AI is so smart you can’t tell it’s not a real person. The five senses are so accurately programmed that there is no detectable difference to reality. Now, you get to play this game, but the programmer tells you some hints on how to play. He says this:”

“This software is programmed to work intuitively with your brain. So, if you want to be, let’s say, a rich Casanova in the game, then all you have to do is believe that you ARE a rich Casanova, and you will become one. The trick is you have to actually believe it, and then the program takes care of the rest. In fact you can have, and be, anything you want in this program as long as you ask for it using these ‘beliefs.’ Think of it as your “console hack.”

“I’m sure you saw this coming, but this ‘game’ already exists and it’s called reality. You become who you believe you are.”

Sound a little like the Matrix? Well, that’s okay. Like I said, I can only give advice on inner game from my own personal perspective, and this is simply how I believe reality works.

I’ll end this article with something that I’ve never written about before: I remember the very night that I became good at attracting women. I remember because I had an epiphany that night and it was so mind-blowing that I had to write it down as soon as I came home.

It has since become my mantra, and I know that if down the road I ever forget everything that I’ve learned in the past few years, all I will have to do is read this piece of paper and it will all come back. What does the paper say?

“The secret to becoming amazing at attracting women is… to remember that you already are.”

Click here for more tips on dating younger women.